.The face of a Child.

I do believe it was the second day. It is hard to remember already. I should have written it down sooner. But that time was so raw and the words were not ready.

Jamesy was sleeping at that moment. I stared at his beautiful face and snapped photos, but it was hard to do much more than that with twenty other beautiful brown babies crawling all over me. It seemed as if all of the other babies were either sleeping or happily playing on the floor - except one. This particular little guy was kind of propped into a bumbo seat.

I asked a nanny his name. Tinsae. (Tin-say)

I called to him, and watched as those beautiful eyes landed on mine, and then to my delight he gave me a smile so huge I thought it might stretch right off of his little cheeks. I asked to hold him and was quickly given permission. I was startled to find how stiff and thin he felt, but he immediately melted into my arms. I knew immediately that he had some physical difficulties, but his smile betrayed that knowing. I spent the entire time that Jamesy slept with Tinsae, and I learned where to tickle him under his chin. He would grin and open his mouth wide, as if to belly laugh, but no sound came out. It is as though the sound would have been too big for his little body.

I remember kissing his cheeks over and over and watching him grin and grin and grin. I left the transition home feeling so blessed to have interacted with that sweet boy. He eased the sting of Jamesy's reluctance to us. Everyday of that trip I spent a bit of time with that sweet boy, and immediately began praying for his adoptive family.

Soon I learned that he did have one.

And I learned that Tinsae also had HIV.

When I read his mommy's email to me, my stomach flip-flopped for a moment, but then I remembered all that I had been learning about children with HIV and the amazing life that Tinsae could have despite the diagnosis. Ethiopia is rampant with these children. These children are passed over time and time again.

These children are passed over time and time again by believers - people who claim the name of Jesus and are supposed to be his hands and feet.

I passed these children over. There were children with HIV on the waiting child list, and I said no way. I used lame excuses that do not hold up to the truth.

I acted as though God was not big enough for HIV.

I was ignorant, foolish, and scared.

But then I met Tinsae, and I did not see HIV. Instead the only thing I saw was the face of a child. A child just like my child. A child hungry for love and needing a family.

And he has one today.

But there are so many others who lay their head down tonight and don't. They lay their head down as a statistic, but if you really look - it's not HIV that you will see. It's the face of a child created in the image of God.

And the only thing scary about it - is my response.

My heart pounded as we climbed the three flights of stairs to the suite we had been staying in. Some of the pounding was from the elevation and climbing the stairs with a baby riding me in a baby sling, but most of it was nerves I realized as I heard his plastic sandals slap the concrete stairs as he followed me.

Were we foolish to invite this stranger of a boy right off of the streets into our hearts, into our suite?

All that repeatedly echoed through my mind, though, was the thought that this is what Jesus would do and did.

I unlocked the door. Jim was still downstairs talking at the front desk, explaining the situation at hand. He tentatively followed me in, eyes round and wide. I knew from the look on his face that he had never lived anywhere so plush, and I felt a twinge of shame. Our eyes met, and he bit his bottom lip - shy, unsure, excited. Then his eyes settled on the light switch, and his face registered curiosity. He looked to me almost as if asking permission to touch it, my face broke out in a wide grin, reassuring his curiosity. He gingerly reached out and pushed the light switch making the lights come to life in the entryway. His face registered glee, and he took off exploring every nook and cranny.

He started in the kitchen - sliding the window back and forth, open and shut. He sat on the ledge, and my heart raced in that overprotective Mama Bear way, Oh, please do not fall out of the window. His eyes then landed on the sink in the kitchen and he manipulated the faucet until the water ran, and he looked at me astonished and broke out in laughter, and my laughter melted into his. I wondered if this was his first encounter with running water. What a mystery it seemed to be to him. He ran his hands under the streaming water over and over. When he was tired of that the stove top beckoned to him, and he turned it on and off, on and off. My heart panicked a bit, and I purposed to tell Jim to talk with him about not touching the stove after we left. Then the microwave was opened and closed, and the refrigerator brought him so much delight. He continually placed his hand inside perplexed over the coolness he felt. My cheeks hurt from smiling, and I quickly grabbed one of the slender glass bottles filled with coke, used the bottle opener to pop the cap off, and handed the cool bottle to him. His smile lit up his beautiful face, and he took a swig, wiping his mouth with the back of his dirty hand.

He continued exploring, flushing the toilet in the bathroom, playing in the bathroom sink. Looking at himself in the mirror and smiling so big with his perfect, white teeth, testing out the couch, the arm chairs, the bed. Marveling at our laptop and the blow dryer that lay beside it. His eyes were hungry to understand everything, and I was living in the moment of wonder right along with him. After several moments I gently handed him his new backpack stuffed with clothing and then a bar of soap. I showed him the shower and how to work it, gave him a towel and shut the bathroom door.

I unhooked Jamesy from the baby sling and kissed his curly head as the tears fell over my cheeks warm and stinging. Moment by moment throughout the past five or so hours I was falling more and more in love with this boy. A little boy from the streets with a history of cruel sadness that no child should ever have to shoulder.

The bathroom door opened and he emerged clean and grinning in his new clothes. I think he put every article of new clothing that we had given him on. He looked older but softer. He pulled up his shirt and showed me a scab on his hip that had opened and looked sore. He told me he got it playing soccer. He seemed proud of his wound, as I tenderly and carefully (not knowing his history and the diseases his little body might hold) bandaged his scab. Tears pricked my eyes wondering when the last time was someone had taken care of him. It didn't seem right that this boy was in charge of himself - alone.

The sneakers we brought were too big, but my running shoes fit him perfectly. He didn't mind that they were pink. I tied them for him, and he grinned from ear to ear so proud to be rid of his dirty, broken plastic sandals. I wondered what it must feel like to be wearing socks and shoes after so long in ill-fitting sandals. How much I take for granted I thought.

Jim came in the door soon after. I was quick to tell him everything and about the stove. Jim swiftly unplugged the stove and took care of my worries. Then they went outside to play soccer, while I snuggled Jamesy for a bit and thought over all that had occurred that day. I marveled that God had orchestrated such a divine meeting. That we would once again find this boy and be given the gift of a day together - a day brimming full with memories, and that God would allow us a way to get him off the street and care for him. It was good, so good, and so God. But it wasn't enough. We could give him the world, and it still would not be enough, for all he truly desired and needed was the one thing we could not give him, and the one basic thing every child deserves - family. My heart split in two. We were getting on an airplane that night, so excited to start our new life with Jamesy, but my heart was breaking at all we were leaving behind and who we were leaving behind. Why would God give us this day with this boy, and then ask us to walk away?

The hours melted into one another. We took photographs and videos and shared photos from the laptop of our family. He played with the mp3 player we had given him and every other electronic gadget that we had brought. We had dinner in the dining room - tibs and injera. He grew quieter and there was something in his dark eyes that was unreadable - fear, loneliness, confusion? Maybe all three. We were to leave for the airport at 10 PM. We tucked Jamesy in to sleep for a few hours, and we quickly packed up our belongings. He would watch us, and I wondered what he was thinking. Soon his eyes grew heavy with sleepiness. We had learned that he normally slept during the day for safety reasons, so no doubt he was exhausted from spending the day awake with us. I helped him to lay down on the cot that was brought up for him, and kissed his cheek. I whispered to him that we would wake him before we left.

I watched him try to sleep. He couldn't lay down all of the way. He slumped against the wall, half sitting up and half laying down, his body tense and on guard. I realized this was how he slept on the street. He twitched and constantly awoke scanning the room, and he whimpered in his sleep. Mumbling and crying. My heart broke again as I watched him. I am not sure when I had felt such pain for another person. Tears streamed down my face, and I looked at Jim and saw pain mirrored on his face as well. I quickly went over sat on the floor and grabbed the boy's hand. He curled his head onto my shoulder and sobbed. I stroked his head and his hand as he trembled. This wasn't right, I thought, as I envisioned my other children safely tucked into their beds sleeping soundly and peacefully. What exactly had this sweet boy endured? I am not sure how long I sat with him crying my own hot tears, broken for this boy. My back finally screamed for me to get up, and I did.

It wasn't long before it was time to do what I had dreaded all day long - say goodbye. I was relieved to not have to leave him on the street, but this was still unbearably hard. We woke him, and I told him that he could sleep in the Queen size bed and watch the TV in the master bedroom. He smiled, but this time it didn't reach his eyes. He sat on the bed and flipped on to a movie that made me flinch, but he was mesmerized. Jim turned the TV off for a moment and pulled him to his feet. I was once again wearing Jamesy, who was sound a sleep in a front pack on my chest. We stood in the middle of that room and football huddled. For a moment the clock stopped, and I memorized the way it felt to be together, to have this teenage boy's arm around me and my husband's arm around me. The tears flowed, and I choked on sobs, and then Jim began to pray. I have no idea what he prayed. My memory fails me, and perhaps even at the time I was too distraught to really listen. I felt the boy quiver. He knew the day was ending, and that we were leaving with no certainty of when we would be back. After Jim said amen, I turned to the boy and hugged him fiercely.

I love you, Mom. He whispered - as broken as I have ever seen another human.

I love you, too.

Then my heart was pierced with horrific pain as I watched Jim envelope the boy in his arms. They rocked back and forth crying. Jim whispered to him over and over that he loved him and that we would be back someday. He promised that all of his needs would be met, and that he would be safe and well fed. And as long as I live I will never forget the look of sheer pain that was evident on the boy's face. It was palpable, and I could not swallow past the burning lump in my throat. Quickly I said one last goodbye and left the room.

And that was it. It was over. And that day has changed the course of my life forever. I still do not how it will all end, but I cannot ever be the same again. I cannot lay my head on my pillow, or wake up in the morning, or look at my brown-eyed boy here in my home and not remember who we left behind.

I hesitated to share any of this, because it still hurts, and it feels really, really vulnerable and private. I feel led to share, though, and I do not want the memory to fade. I want to remember what God gave us that day, and I want to remind myself that these faces on the street and in the orphanages are real people. People that God created and loved enough to send His Son to die for them.

People had told us it is foolish to pursue a teenage boy off of the streets of Ethiopia, that we cannot understand the ramifications it will have on our family.

It's true that we cannot.

But I cannot live with the ramifications of doing nothing.

I think Jesus would pursue the boy.

And simply because of this knowledge - so will we.

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40

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.God is up to Something.

I am unsure of what the outcome will be or what the future will look like, but God is definitely at work and has heard all of my cries and bottled all of my tears as I lay my head on my pillow each night. God is up to something that could possibly be BIG, BIG, BIG when it comes to my special Street Boy in Ethiopia.

I don't want to get into too many details, because I don't know too much (although if this whole thing works out like I am praying it will - I have a huge story to tell of how God orchestrated this. Let me just say that I am continuously marveling at the way He collides stories. His ways are so, so much higher than mine!) The first step is to find him and to find out if he is truly an orphaned street boy. Our guides were pretty sure that he was, but we will need to be certain of that. So we have a starting place, and a loose plan set in motion, and someone in Ethiopia to be our hands and feet right now. {squeal} We also have a meeting set up with that person when we travel to Ethiopia. So that we can discuss face-to-face the future of this precious child.

My heart breaks, just as it did in the Post Office District in Addis, when I met this sweet boy, when I look at his sad, haunted eyes. What unknown, tragic stories they hold. I need to tell him of my Jesus. I must tell him.

God certainly works in mysterious ways. Because this precious little boy has lodged himself into my heart just as snuggly as Jamesy has. I truly feel as if I have two Ethiopian sons. One, God is giving me the blessing of being his physical mommy, and perhaps the other I am just being called to be his spiritual mommy - to pray for him all the days of my life, to entrust him into the care of another, to provide for his needs an ocean away, and to love him like my own - though he can never truly be my own.

My little boy, with the sad dark eyes, do you know that this woman that hugged you tight has thought of you every single day since meeting you? Do you know how she fingers the beads of the treasured bracelet gift? Do you know she would go to battle for you and has been pleading for you every single day since coming home?

Little boy, do you know that across the ocean, a very different world away, is a woman forever changed because of our encounter, who loves you and prays for your heart, your life, and your safety every day?

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. Matthew 18:5

.My Heart Broke a Little More.

I still follow Lucy Lane's story, as it was her "gotchya video" posted on my friend JO's blog almost a year ago that softened my heart for Ethiopia, for adoption, for orphans, and for my responsibility as a believer in Jesus. Last week Kristi, Lucy Lane's mom, had the amazing privilege to fly back to Ethiopia and meet with Lucy's birth mom. It was a beautiful reunion from what I read, but that is not what broke my heart.

Kristi posted about visiting an orphanage, and I do not want to rewrite her post here. Basically she had a sibling group of four make a huge impression on her and she is now advocating for their adoption. There are three boys and a girl. The girl is 12 and there is a 9, 7, and 4 year old boy. They are all healthy and at their appropriate age level.

Kristi describes her experience with them here, and my heart broke a little more. If we were not in the middle of our first adoption....

Surely someone has room, in their heart, their home, their life for these four. Surely someone is being called to be their daddy and mommy. I am praying for these precious children who need and want a family. A family. I know it would take a really special couple to adopt four at once, a couple whose eyes were on eternity and not on the temporal. A couple who understands that this life may be crazy, but it is short and fleeting, and one day heaven will be our place to rest. A couple who has died to self and understand that this lifetime is not meant to be lived in comfortable, easy, luxury. A couple who understands that the souls of these four precious children are one of the only things that can be taken to heaven.

What must it be like for these children to lay their head down each night wondering if they will ever have the simple pleasure of being kissed and tucked in by a mommy and a daddy? Oh, my heart breaks.

I pray that you are that couple, that you are reading this with tears, and that the Holy Spirit is pricking your heart. I know that it is and cannot be me, or Kristi, or our words that do the pricking.

My heart broke a little more, as four beautiful children - orphans - once again became more than statistics to me.

.More Christmas Gift Ideas.

I was going to write another post sharing a new idea for caring for orphans. However, in my own effort to Christmas shop with a purpose ie- purchase Christmas gifts that help put money towards a social injustice, I just keep coming up with these fabulous sites and great ideas. I had to share!

Corridor of Hope ~ (I love the beautiful scarves and necklaces!) This is directly from their website: We are the corridor, a passageway to help people who can’t help themselves. We help bring them hope by bringing you quality and affordable products from these countries. In turn, Corridor Of Hope will donate these resources back into their communities by supporting orphans, thereby empowering YOU to help in a multifaceted way.

Timbali Crafts ~ (I have been wanting an African bag just like this to replace my COACH bag!) From their site: an income generating project for women in Swaziland, Africa. In this tiny nation with the world's highest HIV/AIDS rate and the lowest life
expectancy, the needs are immense. The women who create Timbali Crafts are
all volunteer cooks at feeding centers for orphans and vulnerable children in their
rural communities.

Bead for Life ~ This was taken from their site: BeadforLife eradicates extreme poverty by creating bridges of understanding between impoverished Africans and concerned world citizens. Ugandan women turn colorful recycled paper into beautiful beads. Women in Northern Uganda gather shea nuts and press them into shea butter for cosmetics and soaps. And people who care open their hearts,homes and communities to buy and sell both products.
From what I understand the product purchases right now are supporting 450 families in Uganda!! This is a great shop with all kinds of beautiful items - necklaces, bracelets, Shea butter products, etc. There are even items for men!

Junk Posse ~ One of my favorites!! We have been talking about purchasing Cadi a necklace from here for Christmas, and if I had a list it would be on MINE! From their site: My designs are my Passion with a Purpose & when you purchase items from Junk Posse you help to support several non-profit groups and Adoption in several ways.

Sseko Designs ~ This is on their site: Sseko Designs is a not-just-for-profit enterprise that recognizes the power of business and responsible consumerism to support sustainable economic development, which in turn affects a country's educational, justice, and health care systems. The goal of Sseko Designs is two-fold: provide university tuition for these promising young women through a sustainable monthly income, while also contributing to the overall economic development of Uganda.
These are so cool! They are sandals - you purchase the sole of the sandal and then choose from a variety of beautiful straps to purchase! They are beautiful sandals. They even have wedding sandals which I thought were just gorgeous and so unique.

James 1:27 ~ Even the purchase of your Christmas cards could go toward bringing an orphan home!! This is an adopting mommy's etsy shop, and it is filled with beautiful, unique custom cards!

147 million orphans ~ This was started by two moms who love adoption! Taken from their site: We want you to see YOUR PART in helping change the life of an orphan. Could it be adoption, sponsoring a child, volunteering for orphan care ministry, rocking babies at an orphanage, financially supporting someone adopting, or buying these products? They have a large assortment of apparel - from tees to sweatshirts. They also sell cute burlap bags, and frayed baseball hats!

Lifesong for Orphans ~ 100% of the proceeds goes to orphan care & adoption funding! They sell really great looking tees!

Custom Art for Our Cause ~ Beautiful custom canvases that will help fund a family's adoption!

Embracing the Least of These ~ I love these Christmas ornaments!! I have been eying them for awhile! Scroll down to see the five choices of ornaments - I love the one filled with coffee beans!

Baby Zoowon ~ These are precious bibs, burp cloths, and blankets. I adore them! And for every item purchased - they give a blanket to a child in need! If you have a baby on your Christmas list - you must check this out!



This is just the tip of the iceberg! Please share any shops that you find.

Does anyone want to join the challenge and shop for Christmas with a purpose?? We have tried to whittle down our list of people we have to buy for and just enjoy time with people instead. However, there are still people on our list, and what an awesome thing to purchase a unique gift for them, but help someone in need at the same time! Join me??

For more ideas click on this post here that I wrote earlier this week.

PS Wow, we must have been on the same wave length. For more and different ideas go here!!


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.But What Can I Do?.

It is true that not everyone feels the call to adoption, but understanding our biblical responsibility to care for orphans (over 147 million of them) can make one frustrated and overwhelmed.

Don't let the need paralyze you into doing nothing.

Don't let the numbers be just a statistic. Those numbers correspond with a face...a child. One of them stands for my child.

But what can I do? One might ask.

While adoption is a beautiful and biblical way to care for the orphan. It is not the only way. Yes, I think our churches should be filled with families who have adopted, are in the midst of adopting, and are beginning the blessing of adoption, and yes, I think that every family who is serious about their relationship with Christ should earnestly pray about adoption for their family. However, I do know that this is not God's plan for every believer. But it is God's plan for every believer to be involved in orphan care. So this week, during National Adoption Month, I want to share some other ways that believers can get involved in orphan care other than adoption.

Today I would like to highlight an incredible ministry called Moju Project. The premise behind Moju Project is that you can change the world by the way you shop! They sell really great looking t-shirts and other adorable accessories (check out the Cambodian ruffle scarf! {love}). Money from everything they sell goes toward a social injustice - including feeding orphans! Check out their about section at the top of the site, and read all about how buying a product from their store can help feed an orphan. Not only does monies go toward social injustices, but by wearing a t-shirt we can spread awareness of the needs around us and hopefully intrigue people to search out their biblical responsibility when it comes to those needs.

Jim and I have been thinking through Christmas gifts this year, and we would like to have everything we buy support orphans, widows, or other social injustices. I am not sure if we can accomplish this, but I would like to try! Want to join us and shop with a purpose this year? Why not start with Moju Project? Click the button below.

Or try one of these other trusted sites.

Wiphan Care ministries

The Mercy House Shop

One Stop Adoption Shop

Just Love Coffee

If you have some trusted links that you would like to share please do in the comment section!

What a fun and easy way to obey James 1:27!


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.I'll Find a Way to Get to You.

I had never given adoption a thought. Nor had I thought about my responsibility to care for orphans.

Adoption was weird.

It was for families who could not have children of their own. {cringe}

I had two beautiful children.

We were a picture perfect family with one girl, one boy, and we were essentially doing our best living out the American dream.

Then the gospel came crashing down on my head.

I began hearing about Christians adopting.

About the orphan crisis.

About the parallel between our redemption and adoption by God and the redemption of physical adoption.

I watched videos.

I started to shed tears for the 147 million plus orphans around the world.

I realized in a whole new way how God had come for me when I was needy, lost, orphaned.

I can still remember the Sunday School class last winter, where the Holy Spirit whispered truth into my heart (and funny enough it had nothing to do with the Sunday School class! But rather I was still and quiet, and my heart had become soft enough). My heart raced, my palms grew sweaty, and I knew that God has chosen our family for the amazing blessing of adoption.

I feel so undeserving. This journey has been one of my biggest joys in this lifetime.

Despite the pain, the fear, the strange looks....

looking into the face of my son makes me realize all I could have missed.

And now I will do anything, I will find a way to get to Jamesy, to bring him home, into his family.

If you feel that still, small voice tugging at your heart. Just stop, listen, and obey. It's worth it. It is so worth it.






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.What I Want You To Know - A Guest Post.

This guest post was written by a fellow adopting mommy. She is adopting through the same agency as Jim and I, and was able to deliver our first care package to Jamesy as well as take some precious photos of him. The adoption community has been a beautiful part of this journey for us. We feel so blessed to be "virtually" surrounded by so many families whose hearts beat out the same rhythm as ours.

Allie is just a few short days from heading back to Ethiopia in order to bring home her new daughter. This is not Allie's first experience with adoption - it is actually her 5th! She has a beautiful heart and has articulated so much of God's heart in this post. Please read this with a soft heart and eyes wide open. Then head over to her lovely blog here to read more of her story. I pray that God uses her words in a powerful way!

Thank you Allie for being such a godly, humble example of the gift we have all been given in our adoption.



"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"--but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
1 Corinthians 2:9-10


In three days I leave for Ethiopia. My heart and spirit have been pondering the reality of that in new ways as of late. The Lord is showing Himself, once again, through this miracle called adoption. He is revealing a new facet of Himself that my heart had previously been unable to fully grasp. As I look back, I realize He has done this with every adoption we have experienced...

With DJ, I learned of the tender Father-heart of God.
With Katie, I learned of the sweet mercy of God.
With Gracie, I experienced the sheer power of God.
With Drew, I learned that God is the ultimate Giver of Gifts, beyond all we can ask or imagine.

All four adoptions brought me to my knees at some point. All four children have obviously had the Lord's hand upon their lives. I have always struggled to put into words the beauty of the bond, the perfection of a family created by the Lord. It is a love that transcends blood-ties or racial similarities, that somehow makes common the uncommon, that makes a barren woman a happy mother of children.

Praise the Lord. (Psalm 113:9)


With Little Sister, who for the sake of this blog will be given the name Mari, I have been given a glimpse into what lies in store for all of us who are followers of Jesus Christ...the redeeming love of God.

Just imagine...

A three year old little girl is waiting for us,
just as we are waiting for the return of Jesus.
She has met us, is learning to trust us, and has been told that we have to go away "for a little while"
but that we will return for her.

Are you seeing the parallel?


She has been broken and grieving, yet she awaits the fulfillment of the promise.
She awaits the home we have been preparing for her.
She awaits a new name, a new family, and a new future...

because she has been adopted.


Do you see? This is your story as well. This is my story! WE have been adopted into the family of God!

But wait, it gets even better...


Katie and I will board a plane and fly across continents and oceans to bring Mari home. We will greet her with open arms and "I love you's". We will present her with new clothes (Just writing that makes me breathless. Imagine the moment when we are clothed in bright white linen before the throne of God!) and bathe her from head to toe. We will escort her across those same continents and oceans, and we will land on U.S. soil...where she will suddenly be a citizen of a new country. We will carry her tenderly through the gates and step out into a crowd of family and friends...her family and friends...who have prayed her home.

Friends, if you ever get the chance to witness an airport reunion or the reveal of a newly adopted child, that is the closest you will ever come to experiencing our Heavenly homecoming on this side of the veil. Those of us who have been blessed to walk the road of adoption get to live, in a very small way, this spiritual reality.

That is why I am so passionate about adoption.
That is why my heart breaks when someone allows fear or finances to squelch the calling of God.
If God has called you to this, it is a privilege. He funds what He favors, and adoption is no exception. It is an unbelievable experience. It is eye-opening and heart-wrenching. It is watching the broken become whole, and marveling at the thought that God could use one broken person to heal another.

Yes, there is fear. Believe me I have dealt with my share of it as we prepare to bring home a three year old who has never had boundaries. I have been on my face, praying for the Holy Spirit to speak to her heart when she is unable to understand my words. But if it was easy, there would be no need for God...nothing to bring glory to Him. He continually reminds me of the broken state I was in when He called my name. Oh how I praise Him that He did not expect me to get it together and get cleaned up before He would be willing to adopt me into His family. If He can change me, He can change anyone. If He can heal me and bring purity to a previously impure heart, then He most certainly can and will take a little girl and conform her to His image and knit her heart securely to her family.

See the parallels. Be willing. Let God use you in ways that you thought were impossible. Be the hands and feet of Jesus to the 147 million orphans who so desperately need the love of an earthly father and mother. If you have been called, start walking forward and don't look back.

And when Jesus returns, bask in the familiarity of the moment.

From the depths of my full heart,





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.What I Still Don't Understand.

It's been less than a year since God ripped the blinders off of our eyes and pointed us to our responsibility regarding orphans. I am still so ashamed that I did not see it until then. I wasted a lot of years.

From the moment people heard about our plan to adopt we heard strange things regarding orphan care. We heard how this was the journey God had for us not for everyone. While I can agree that yes, that may be true of adoption it is absolutely not true of orphan care.

Orphan care is not an option if you are a true believer in Jesus Christ.

I have spent a lot of time since January studying what the Bible has to say about this subject. I do not want to preach something that I am not positive is true. I did not have to look far to see God's will for believers concerning orphan care. The Bible is not secretive about it. In the Old Testament alone more than 40 references can be found that show His compassion and concern for the orphaned. (And this is a separate issue from taking care of the poor and needy which we are also called to do!! Although one can argue that if you participate in orphan care you are taking care of the poor and needy, which is true. But visa-versa is not true.)

The reason to participate in orphan care is not because some lady on a blog, or some pastor behind a pulpit, or some video made you feel guilty. No, there should be no guilt felt. Jesus does not ask us to feel guilty. He asks us to do something. From reading the passages on orphans I have easily concluded that a one time act is not what He asks of us either. It should be a life time of care for orphans.

"If we are motivated only by the need, we will run out of gas rather quickly. Our ultimate motivation comes from a God who adopted us as children when we were alone." (Jed Meddefield)

All believers should have a burning desire to care for orphans, not only because it is our biblical responsibility as a believer, but as an overflow of our heart. Because we were all orphans, we were all defenseless, fatherless, without hope, and God adopted us! Don't you get it? Orphan care is an almost perfect reflection of the GOSPEL! Sure it is scary and messy and hard, but our redemption was all of those as well. Our Redeemer sacrificed everything to adopt us. Can we not in return do something to show the world this beautiful living portrait of our adoption?

When God adopted us He made us His own - not like his own. He gave us an inheritance, and He gave us an identity. That in itself should be enough to put a desire in us to mirror this for someone else. Plus He commanded Christians (James 1:27) to do the same to orphans. Adoption should be driven by the gospel. Orphan care should be driven by the gospel.

"The Gospel is not a picture of adoption, adoption is a picture of the Gospel". (Al Molher)

What I still don't understand is why orphan care is still considered by many Christians to not be their calling? I cannot understand how one can read all of the passages in the Bible that talk about orphans and walk away thinking they have no responsibility, that only a select few are called to that. Again, I am not just talking about the beautiful privilege God allows some to have of adoption. I am talking about orphan care in general. And there are so many ways to care for orphans.

I am fervently praying over this month of November as we celebrate National Adoption month. I pray that churches would once again rise up, just like the early church did, and defend the fatherless, speak out, care for, and start adopting these orphans. Our churches should be overflowing with families that have adopted, with ministries supporting orphans, etc. I am praying for an orphan revival. I am praying that this is true in my own church.

We have not been given a choice regarding orphan care, and it's time we stop acting like we have.

Matthew 28:19-20 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

How can we make disciples and teach them to obey if we are not obeying everything commanded of us??



There are an estimated 860,000 orphans in Rwanda, as last reported by unicef. The 1994 genocide, AIDS, and hard living conditions account for much of that number. This and the photo above were taken from here.

(Right now our hearts have been burdened for children of Africa, but God burdens people's hearts differently. There are orphans all over the world, and right in our back yard that need care. If we all follow where God leads than all of the orphans everywhere will get care. Please do not think that we think Africa is the best place to help. It is merely our best place right now.)

Post Script: I am not the only one that has discovered what the Bible demands of us as believers. Read here.
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.Adoption and the Local Church.

November is National Adoption Month. This Sunday, November 7th, is Orphan Sunday. I pray that many churches realize the importance of this day and boldly dedicate their Sunday to sharing with their congregations its responsibility to orphans.

I cannot be silent on my blog this month. God not only moved in our hearts to adopt our sweet Jamesy, but to also advocate for all of His orphans who are waiting to be adopted. We are still working out the details and waiting on God to reveal to us exactly what this means for our family. Yes, we are adopting Jamesy, but that is a one time act. As soon as his adoption is completed he will no longer be an orphan, and we absolutely cannot and will not stop with him. I do not know if we will fill our home with orphans, if we will begin an orphan care and adoption ministry, if we will move to Africa and serve the people we have fallen in love with, or if God has something completely different planned for our lives.

Right now, while we wait, I do know that God has encouraged us to share the truth that we have learned and to advocate for the precious children who may be waiting for you to open your heart and your home. So my blog is going to mainly be used for that this month, and that is my warning to you. {grin} I am passionate about what the Bible has to say about poverty and justice about orphans and widows. This month it's all about the orphans....

I think it is so important to understand that adoption is God's idea! I believe that God's heart is for adoption. There is no denying that if your are a believer in Jesus Christ, you have been ADOPTED. Have you really ever stopped and thought about what that means for you? This is not something to just gloss over. Your adoption as the sons and daughters of the Holy God of the Universe is monumental. We were all orphans - without hope, and if you truly are a believer you have been GRAFTED INTO God's family with all of the blessings and privileges as His children. Does this not make you weak in the knees???

If you haven't ever thought about this, I mean seriously given this some thought- open your Bible and look at what God says about adoption. Get a hold of the book Adopted for Life by Russell Moore, and truly grasp how your adoption by God has changed the course of your entire life. Then notice the example God gave us for this beautiful thing called adoption. It is absolutely mandatory that adoption be given a sacred priority in our churches. It is so vital that the local church is teaching on adoption - both our adoption and the example God has set before us, as well as how to be obedient to scriptural commands to care for orphans here and around the world. It is not a choice!! God has not given us the option to just skip over these mandates and be silent on this issue. Yet sadly that is what has been happening for years. It's not about having every person in our church choose to adopt, but we are all called to participate in an ongoing manner in some way - adoption needs to be encouraged in the local church and spoken of often. It must be a priority to God for the amount of times that orphans and the fatherless are mentioned in the Bible, and yet .... more often than not the church is silent on the subject. I am confused on this, why is something that is so pervasive in Scripture not constantly talked about?? Why is the church silent?

This should not be so.

I am praying that this Sunday, November 7th, that churches around America would break their silence on this subject and tell the truth.

Is your church participating??






(This photo came from here. In Malawi, Africa there are close to 2 million orphans and vulnerable children out of total population of 13 million people.)

Here are some verses that may encourage you. Don't ignore them.

In you the orphan finds mercy.

Hosea 14:3

Never take advantage of any widow or orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, you can be sure that I will hear their cry.

Exodus 22:22-23

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Romans 8:14-16

But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

Galatians 4:4-6

You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.

Psalms 10:14,17-18

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.

Psalms 68:5-6

When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don’t go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans, and widows. Then the LORD your God will bless you in all you do.

Deuteronomy 24:19

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

Isaiah 1:17

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

Proverbs 31:8-9

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

Matthew 18:5

I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!

Matthew 25:40

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.No Orphans of God.

As soon as I feel deceived by the enemy to stop talking because of these whispers in my ear....

You're making people uncomfortable

You're coming off as crazy - a fanatic - a Christian nutcase

You're alienating yourself

You're coming off as "holier-than-thou"

Not everyone is called to adoption

No one wants to be friends with someone who is so dogmatic and passionate

God once again allows me to stumble upon something like this, and once again I am determined to speak up for those that cannot.



Honestly it is the least I can do right now, and until the world bears no more orphans I will not be deceived into being silent.

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Does She Know?

I try to tell myself that I should not write so much about adoption, about orphans, about widows, about God's commands to us regarding the above. But I cannot stop. My whole world is wrapped up in this journey. I've said time and time again how my eyes have been opened for the first time ever, and truly I don't want to go back to being blind. I don't want to go back to being comfortable. I don't want to remember the thoughts I once had on what I considered a real family to be, or how certain mandates in Scripture only referred to certain believers and not to us all. I believe that was a lie right from the enemy, and he did a very good job of holding the blinders tightly over my eyes for 30 years, but they have been yanked off. My eyes are naked, and for the first time they are seeing things and people in a new way.

My heart is breaking for things that break God's heart. Things I have ignored for too long.I believe that God will be glorified in my speaking out, each time I do so I do it prayerfully.

We have been given strange looks when we talk about the love we have for our child already, and how he is no different to us than Cadi or Scotty. People raise their eyebrows when we speak with an urgency saying we feel just as anxious with this child as we would if Cadi or Scotty were the ones separated from us in Africa. And I know, we do sound crazy if you have never experienced this first hand. I didn't really get that at first, but I do now. However, it doesn't change the realness of this for us at all or what we feel. And probably what I am going to say next sounds even more bizarre. But here it is. Today, I am once again thinking of the woman who will carry and give birth to my child. I am thinking about how much I love her and feel connected to her though we have never met. With how smoothly the process is going for us up to this point, it is very likely that this woman is carrying my baby boy right now in her womb.

That brings me to tears. Happy, excited tears, and bitter, sad tears. I wonder over and over what this woman will experience these next few months that will cause her baby to be an orphan. I know that in some countries a girl is more likely to die giving birth than to go to school. I know Ethiopia is one of those places. What kind of heart aches will she endure that will bring this boy into our home? I hurt for her. This is not how it should be. As God created the world, He intended for birth families to stay together. But when sin entered the world it affected everything. I know God loves and ordains adoption, but I also know that it is not how it should have been. In a perfect world, adoption would not even need to exist. There would be no orphan. There would be no widow.

But this is not a perfect world.

And there are widows and orphans.

And we as Believers are called to do something about that.

We are not called to continue to live comfortably with the fuzzy blinders over our eyes. We will have plenty of time to live pretty comfortably when we get to heaven! I have decided to wait for that. I think it will be worth it.

So we chose to bring an orphan into our family and make him an orphan no more, but rather a son! And we witnessed this example in our Father adopting us as sons. But adoption is messy. It is costly. It is scary. And adoption hurts. It hurts all involved. And today I am hurting for a woman in Ethiopia who has my baby nestled under her heart, while I have him tucked into mine.

I wonder does she know that she is loved by a family half way around the world? Does she know I pray for her every morning and every night as I lay my head on my pillow? Does she know that I have cried for her and hurt for her. Does she know that the little boy she carries is loved and being waited and longed for? That he has an older sister and an older brother who speak his name already? Does she know that we will talk of her our whole life and be connected to her through that sweet, little baby she is carrying? Does she know that her son is going to have the best daddy and the best example of His heavenly daddy?

Does she know that I have wept and pleaded for her salvation?

And that I pray one day in heaven I can wrap my arms around her and tell her thank you?

My heart longs to see her in heaven reunited with that little boy that we will forever share.

Redemption. I am praying that for her. For him. For us.




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Is Jesus an Adoption Advocate?

My Darling is out speaking to teens for the second night this week. I have been sitting here catching up on some of the adoption blogs I started following. I came across a post written by a woman who is in Ethiopia right now picking up her beautiful son, Isaac. So exciting! I scrolled through her photos with tears streaming down my cheeks, my arms aching for my baby. Soon it will be our turn. For now we {try} to enjoy the ride, although I do believe that God wants us to feel a sense of urgency. Is there not an urgency to the Gospel of Jesus Christ? And ultimately this adoption has a kingdom purpose.

I digress.

I happened on a post written by this woman that just floored me. I found myself nodding and thinking yes, that is what I have been trying to communicate all week in my posts! She is just much more eloquent and I think says everything I have been trying and failing to say so much better. Since she is in Africa right now, I cannot get a hold of her to ask her if I could cut and paste her article onto my blog, so I am begging you to go read it here. But will you come back to me and let me know what you think?

Does that make more sense?

Oh, and if have the time her post here from today about meeting her son's birth mom is so moving.

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.A {Giant} Step Forward.

Today was a very exciting and much anticipated day in our home. We were finally - almost a month later than we had anticipated - able to mail in our $3,521.00 check and oodles and oodles of signed and collected paper work in order to get the ball rolling for our home study!!


Yes, we are both as sleepy as he looks. {wink}

So what's next? Well another financial mountain, but we continue to trust God to supply and meet those demands, and we praise Him for so many of YOU that made today's check possible! Our next financial hurdle is about $8,000.00 Deep breath. {grin} I received several encouraging emails today. One said this But, I want you to know that God cares about your child way more than you could ever, His very heart is for the orphan! I stand confident in telling you that every dime will be provided. You will never be a penny short or a day late. Jesus is all you need. Wow. I just cried as I read this beautiful email written from the heart of a woman that has walked our journey. Not only has she walked our journey, but this family has not seen the command of James 1:27 as a one time thing that we do and forget about. Her and her husband have started an amazing ministry in Africa. You can click on the button that says "Into the Streets of Africa" on my left side bar to learn more.

We will now wait to be contacted to set up the meetings for our home study interviews - this is a MAJOR part of the home study. Most likely we will have four meetings. Our goal was to have this completed by fall as well as our dossier on its way to Ethiopia. I still believe it is doable!

There is so much that I want to say that God is placing on my heart, but I am going to hold back right now. God is doing a mighty work in the hearts of Jim and myself. As much as we have been "rebuked" (many times by people who have very sincere motives but have just yet to have their eyes be opened to the Truth) by others we have been even more encouraged by many, many families that are in this same process or have gone before us. All of them have agreed and supported our words and actions and applauded our candor. It is a blessing to be known and understood.

I just want to leave with this thought. In writing about my convictions of our biblical mandate in James 1:27 this week, please do NOT misunderstand me in thinking that I am saying every Christian is called to adopt. (I do ask you to search your heart and God's plan if you are feeling a little uneasy, though.) I thought I had made that very clear, that this is not the case. My point has only been that MANY have been called and are ignoring the call, and ALL have been called to do SOMETHING when it comes to orphans, widows, and living our lives unstained by the world. I absolutely will not back down on that or water that down. It is biblical truth. Yes, all of us will have different journeys in life, but this verse is very clearly written for every Christian, and I truly believe that God is asking us to share that truth with others as well as a very candid picture of our adoption story.

Stepping off my soap box.

Just had to get that off my chest.

Love to you all, and thank you for your generosity and encouragement. What an awesome community of godly, believers I have found here. Jim and I are sooo appreciative. You have no idea....
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.Just a Fool to Believe I Could Change the World.

And I can't.

But God can.

After yesterdays rather toxic post, I have calmed down a bit. I am still angry, but it is muted. I think I am more sad right now. I am sad, but I am so encouraged. Your comments made me sit here at my desk and just sob. They were so full of compassion, love, and you, my dear friends, get it. My inbox was full when I got up this morning, full of support and encouragement from readers and from our Ethiopia Yahoo Group.

I don't feel so alone today.

I don't feel quite so crazy right now.

Jim and I had a heart to heart last night. He shared a video with me (I will give you the link at the end of this post.), and between my time in prayer yesterday, your encouraging words and prayer, and conversation and prayer with my husband, I know this much....

I cannot do everything, only God can, but I have been called to do something.

..once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.......... Prov. 24:12

I know what God is calling me to do right now. He is calling me to bring home our child from Ethiopia and He is calling me to advocate for orphans.

It is the second part that I am just realizing. The second part is actually harder for me than the first. I don't like to offend, and I know many have found me offensive, pushy - cramming this orphan thing down their throat.

Well, I am not going to stop. I am going to try to be gracious and humble, but I am going to advocate with everything in my being for the fatherless - for those children who have no one else advocating for them, for those children that deserve a daddy and a mommy just as much as my children and your children do. It was no accident that my children were placed in my home and not in an orphanage far away, but they are no more blessed than those other children, and God loves the orphans just as much as my children. I know this may turn people away, both here on my blog and in real-life, but I am going to do it nonetheless.

Here are some facts on how my God views orphans. Let's pull our blinders off.

Read these words slowly, let them sink into your soul. Allow the Holy Spirit to whisper this truth.

- Psalm 10:14, God is the “helper of the orphan.”

- Psalm 10:18, God will “vindicate the orphan and oppressed.”

- Psalm 82:3, God commands his people to, “vindicate the weak and fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and destitute.”

- Deuteronomy 10:18, God “executes justice for the fatherless.”

- Deuteronomy 27:19, “Cursed is the man who withholds justice from the fatherless.”

- Hosea 14:3, “in you (God) the fatherless find compassion.”

Oh, but that is just the Old Testament, and it is not applicable to you and me today, right?

So what do we do with James 1:27?
“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

God’s people then and God’s people now must actively care for the fatherless. In fact, the Greek word translated “to visit” or “to care for” is used elsewhere in Scripture of the shepherd tending to, watching over, giving close attention to and taking responsibility for his sheep. Kind of hard to swallow, but I hope even harder to ignore.

The only conclusion I can see from this is that Christians are required to advocate for and rescue orphans. We cannot pick and choose this. We cannot decide this only applies to some families. If you have beseeched God and know for sure that you are not called to adopt, what are you going to do - have you earnestly sought God's calling?

Adoption costs a lot of money. It is the hard truth. People sneer that if this is God's plan than He will provide the money. That is true, but guess how He often supplies the money??

Through people.

Don't let money be what stands between you and this kingdom calling.

Don't let fear.

Jim and I watched a video last night. I cannot embed it here, but PLEASE take the time to go to this link, scroll to the bottom and watch the video under Worship Media. After Jim and I watched the video we joked how we should move to Alabama and attend this church which so clearly gets the mandate of James 1:27. Can you imagine such a church?! What a blessing to have a church filled with so many families that get the need and are either adopting or are supporting the families that are adopting. We are the only family in our church walking this road. I have been going to this church my whole life, and I do believe we are the first family. Praying that changes, and that eyes are unveiled.

What about YOU?

Thanks for your love, encouragement, and support. Thanks for bearing with this post. I slept pretty well last night, and I know it was as a result of your prayers.
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