.Let's Revisit Orphan Care.

This was published as two separate posts several months ago, but all of this continues to marinate in my heart today. This weekend we brought a boy into our home. He originally came from Ethiopia and was adopted by a family in America, for reasons that are not mine to share, the family decided the adoption was not working out, and he was sent to a residential facility for troubled children. He has been there for years now, and it is all he knows. His childhood was stolen from him due to poverty in Ethiopia, and it has been years since he has been inside of a family. As I cooked meals for him and loved on him the best that I knew how, my heart broke over the injustice of this all. So much of his story could have been different. So much of it should have been different. I am NOT attacking the family that adopted this child, because I know the trenches of adoption. I have been in the dark valley, and I know how hard it all truly is. There is no way that I can point a finger, when I have seen and experienced what I have, because there have been moments, except for the grace and mercy of God, that I may have been tempted to throw in the towel. However, with as much grace as I can muster and humility, as I am not involved in this situation, I can honestly say that international adoption was not the best choice for his boy, and it should not have happened. He should not be here in America - in an institution. There could have been another way.

We, as the Church, must keep dialoguing about this hard stuff. And again, I am NOT against international adoption, it has its place, but it is not the solution for the orphan crisis. It's just not.

****
Part One:
Today marks three years since we brought Jamesy into our permanent care. Three years ago we landed once again on Ethiopian soil, and for the first time in months my heart slowed and beat out a new rhythm that felt like home. It was adoption that drew us to that country - that continent. God opened our eyes to orphan care, and we became obedient. But now after three years in, we realize that our eyes were just beginning to open back then. Our lives are always changing and growing - emerging as we learn and grow and do better when we finally know better. And we have learned a lot along the way. Where at one time, as we were learning and growing, you read this blog and you read passion and devotion for international adoption in my words. And some of you read dogma and pride and self-righteousness and forcefulness as well I am sure, and I apologize. Truly I am sorry. It is part of why this space has grown silent on these matters. I am a quiet girl who turns fiery when I am passionate about something. Writing is one of my only outlets and how I process what is in my head and my heart, and so this blog received the brunt of my growing pains.

Yes, I've been quiet for awhile now in my advocating for international adoption. I still love adoption. I still believe in it, value it, champion it, but I also have seen the other dark side of it, and now even question whether it is truly a top solution in orphan care. I still whole-heartedly believe that every Jesus follower is called to orphan care - nothing has changed that view. I still am very convicted by James 1:27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. I am an orphan advocate and a justice advocate, and I strongly believe that so was my Jesus. Something in my heart broke, though, when I began to understand that orphan care is way bigger and more complicated than I originally thought, and that to find the solution we really have to go so much deeper than international adoption - because the problem as a whole is just too big for that. 

I am going to be very careful here in what I write, because I have two precious children from Ethiopia who I am responsible to protect. However, after living with Jamesy for three years and with Habi for almost two, I can honestly say that in a perfect world, the world in which God originally intended us to live in, adoption was never His plan for these children. Adoption was never God's original plan. Adoption springs from great, horrifying tragedy that should never be. The suffering and overwhelming devastation that flows from all that these two children have lost was not part of God's original plan. I now firmly believe in my heart that God's original plan was for Jamesy and Habi to grow up in a loving, nurturing home with their birth parents - not with us. It is only because we live in a broken, messed up world that they are now in our family, and don't get me wrong, God can and does redeem the mess. But the mess leaves deep scars, and we experience that reality every single day in the brokenness, trauma, guilt, shame, and grief that accompanies our two boys.

Bringing these boys to America and into our family didn't automatically heal them or {flinch} fix them. It doesn't tackle the core. My heart is broken and bruised realizing the tragedy that is the fact that my sons cannot grow up inside their birth families. As much as it hurts to write this, because of how fiercely I love my boys and now see them as my 100% sons, if I could give them anything in this world, I would give them their birth families - whole, healthy, and thriving. But I can't give them that. So, we all do the best that we can with the grace of God pouring down over us. It was not God's first choice for these boys to grow up in our family. Please read carefully, this does not negate the beauty that has occurred inside our family because of adoption, the way the gospel has taken on life to us, or the amazing way in which God redeems, restores, and renews our boys. It doesn't take away from the amazing work that God did inside of my husband and I because of adoption. But knowing what we now know, without going into personal details, we have come to the conclusion that orphan care has to be less about international adoption - it should never start there - it should never be the first plan of action in tackling this need.

So God has been opening our eyes to family preservation. This is huge and hard and not as romantic or as flashy looking as adoption. I now think that when it comes to orphan care, and when we feel the call (as I believe all Jesus followers will), this should be our first priority - keeping families together, discipling them, nurturing them, sharing Jesus and the gospel with them, extending mercy wherever and whenever needed, helping them sustain a living and giving them the life-skills to pass on a hope and a future to the generations behind them. I believe that our number one priority in orphan care should be keeping families together - not advocating for international adoption. I have heard it said before, and now I get it and believe it, international adoption is just a bandaid slapped over a bleeding, oozing, gaping wound. 

We've got to do better. This is too big, too deep, too mammoth of a problem for a quick patch-job, and we've got to get to the core of the tragedy that ultimately places children in situations where they are orphaned, abandoned, living in institutions and waiting for international adoption. The core begins with family - birth families. So, let us start delving into orphan care right there - we have to.

Let me stop here and shout that I do not think that international adoptions should end, and I do not believe that they are wrong. So if you are reading this post and are inside an international adoption, please, please hear my heart - I am not anti-international adoption. Remember that I call two Ethiopian boys my sons. Don't hear me say anything like that. I just firmly believe that it is not and cannot be the the answer to orphan care - it is one small teeny-tiny bandaid fix - a necessary one at times, yes, but we must, must, must look beyond that and move deeper inside the root of the problem to find a real solution. Adoption is a teeny part of the solution, but it should not be the main or only focus. The core tragedy will never see justice, healing, or a sustainable solution if we only focus on that one minuscule piece. Yes, we need Jesus followers to respond to the tragedy that has forced children into the need for international adoption - absolutely these children need to grow up in loving families, BUT at the exact same time we need to be tackling the core and fighting for family preservation.

This is where God has opened our eyes and is drawing our hearts with Mercy Branch Inc. We know better now than we did four years ago, so we are begging God to help us to do better. We are obeying God's call to extend the mercy of Jesus to street kids - kids that are not viable for international adoption but still very much fall under the umbrella of orphan care. And we are learning more and more about the importance of working toward birth family reunification with these kids - because many of them do still have families. Yes. they have been abandoned by their families for so many devastating reasons (reasons that I whole-heartedly believe have solutions and can be stopped as the Church would step up and out), and most live as orphans. But stop for a moment and think what God could do if someone would step in and disciple these children and their families into beautiful, redemptive reunification. What would happen if someone even stepped into a family's life and helped prevent that family from feeling as if their only choice was to abandon their child to the street? How might a generation in Ethiopia be changed by this? And for those kids who have no remaining family or where reunification is impossible and international adoption is just not viable, what then? What if godly, whole Ethiopian families stepped in and brought these children in as their own sons or daughters in domestic adoption? What if these children, who undergo the tragedy of losing their birth family, could still remain inside their continent, country, city, culture? Would the trauma scars not run quite so deep if they were not removed from every single thing that they know?

We don't have all of the answers. We do not want to pretend to be an authority on this. We are just beginning this journey of asking God how He wants us to attack the core. We are just beginning to see how much bigger the solution is than international adoption. We will probably make mistakes along the way, but we have to try to tackle this from the inside out. We need to be part of the fore-runners in fighting the core tragedy that causes the need for international adoption. We hope that our ministry with Mercy Branch Inc. will be a small part in that. We are determined to pour our lives into helping birth families stay together and giving them tools to raise their children well, and when that doesn't work fostering domestic adoption, so these children can stay where they are. Ethiopia needs them - its future depends on a generation of godly men and women that are also involved in tackling the core tragedy.

We realize, even this, is a drop in the bucket, and we are praying to keep our hearts open and sensitive to the Spirit's leading. But this is the direction our hearts are beating. Here is a small taste of that heart beat.

Part Two:

I have received several messages regarding yesterdays post, which I was prepared to receive. I responded to each, but I think there were enough questions to warrant a small follow up post for those of you who have the same questions.

I tried to tackle this subject delicately, because it is polarizing. I do not want this space to be a place for conflict, inflammatory statements or judgment, however, I do want it to be a safe place to dialogue with the ability to be open and transparent. I may have been too delicate in my approach yesterday, and it appears that it left some people questioning whether or not I am even for international adoption at all any more.

For the record - I am.

Yesterday, I wrote about tackling the core tragedy in orphan care by focusing on family preservation. This is so important. But please hear me say this - there really are children who need familes to step up and adopt because it is too late for family preservation for them - for whatever reason. The answer is not for these children to grow up and languish in an institution, and that is where adopting families step into the orphan care paradigm. What I was trying to explain yesterday, though, is that international adoption is not enough to solve the orphan crisis. It is too big for that. The orphan crisis is just going to perpetuate for generations, unless people simultaneously adopt the children who are already past the point of family preservation, while at the same time tackle the core tragedy of why children are being orphaned in the first place.

I think orphan care is as much about orphan prevention as anything else, and that all goes back to family preservation, as I talked about yesterday. When we step up and take care of families, we are taking care of these at-risk children, who without intervention, could potentially end up orphaned in the future. I am very passionate about this need of tackling the core tragedy - not just the ramifications of the core tragedy.

Not too long ago, I believed that international adoption was possibly the best solution for the orphan crisis, but now I understand that is most likely not true. I understand it because I have lived it with my two Ethiopian sons. I have held their grief racked bodies as they sobbed and raged. I have listened to heart breaking questions with no answers. I have witnessed the depth of the loss that they have encountered, and I see the way it impacts so much of their lives. It is a deep pain that I have never witnessed or experienced before this. International adoption is a good solution for a lot of children who no longer have the option of family preservation. However, there is so, so much loss that occurs for these children when they are stripped of everything that they have ever known - including country and culture. It is much more complicated and muddied then I first naively thought when we began the adoption process four years ago. I still think it is viable and necessary for some children, but now I see just how much of a loss there really is for them. So, I yearn for more children to be able to stay inside their birth country, through domestic adoption, in order to ease the loss for them a little more. I am also adamantly not saying that the loss is too devastating for internationally adopted children that God cannot redeem it. He can and does. I have also witnessed huge healing and redemption in my boys.

You see, all of this is complicated. We live in a complicated and broken world. Nothing is as it was intended, so we will continue to flounder and fight for solutions only to find better solutions that we first missed. I don't think the messiness of this should scare us away, though. There is a time and a place for us in building His Kingdom, and it is now. Our generation is needed and has been specially hand picked by God to be right here, right now for a great purpose. So let us have open, honest dialogue about this. Let us be united for these children - for these families. I honestly believe there is a beautiful hope for the future of orphan care, and I want to be part of it.

What do you think?

. A Follow Up Conversation About Orphan Care.

I have received several messages regarding yesterdays post, which I was prepared to receive. I responded to each, but I think there were enough questions to warrant a small follow up post for those of you who have the same questions. (If you have not read yesterday's post, you can find it here.)

I tried to tackle this subject delicately, because it is polarizing. I do not want this space to be a place for conflict, inflammatory statements or judgment, however, I do want it to be a safe place to dialogue with the ability to be open and transparent. I may have been too delicate in my approach yesterday, and it appears that it left some people questioning whether or not I am even for international adoption at all any more.

For the record - I am.

Yesterday, I wrote about tackling the core tragedy in orphan care by focusing on family preservation. This is so important. But please hear me say this - there really are children who need familes to step up and adopt because it is too late for family preservation for them - for whatever reason. The answer is not for these children to grow up and languish in an institution, and that is where adopting families step into the orphan care paradigm. What I was trying to explain yesterday, though, is that international adoption is not enough to solve the orphan crisis. It is too big for that. The orphan crisis is just going to perpetuate for generations, unless people simultaneously adopt the children who are already past the point of family preservation, while at the same time tackle the core tragedy of why children are being orphaned in the first place.

I think orphan care is as much about orphan prevention as anything else, and that all goes back to family preservation, as I talked about yesterday. When we step up and take care of families, we are taking care of these at-risk children, who without intervention, could potentially end up orphaned in the future. I am very passionate about this need of tackling the core tragedy - not just the ramifications of the core tragedy.

Not too long ago, I believed that international adoption was possibly the best solution for the orphan crisis, but now I understand that is most likely not true. I understand it because I have lived it with my two Ethiopian sons. I have held their grief racked bodies as they sobbed and raged. I have listened to heart breaking questions with no answers. I have witnessed the depth of the loss that they have encountered, and I see the way it impacts so much of their lives. It is a deep pain that I have never witnessed or experienced before this. International adoption is a good solution for a lot of children who no longer have the option of family preservation. However, there is so, so much loss that occurs for these children when they are stripped of everything that they have ever known - including country and culture. It is much more complicated and muddied then I first naively thought when we began the adoption process four years ago. I still think it is viable and necessary for some children, but now I see just how much of a loss there really is for them. So, I yearn for more children to be able to stay inside their birth country, through domestic adoption, in order to ease the loss for them a little more. I am also adamantly not saying that the loss is too devastating for internationally adopted children that God cannot redeem it. He can and does. I have also witnessed huge healing and redemption in my boys.

You see, all of this is complicated. We live in a complicated and broken world. Nothing is as it was intended, so we will continue to flounder and fight for solutions only to find better solutions that we first missed. I don't think the messiness of this should scare us away, though. There is a time and a place for us in building His Kingdom, and it is now. Our generation is needed and has been specially hand picked by God to be right here, right now for a great purpose. So let us have open, honest dialogue about this. Let us be united for these children - for these families. I honestly believe there is a beautiful hope for the future of orphan care, and I want to be part of it.

What do you think?

Why Can't We Just Get Along?

For the past three years or so, I have eagerly anticipated November and National Adoption/Orphan Awareness month. I have been passionate about advocating for adoption and for children who need families to step up and fold them into a loving home. But this year I am left with a bitter taste in my mouth, and I hesitate to write anything, because there is a whole lot of ugliness swirling around the topic of adoption right now. I have watched it build and build over the past few years, and it seems to be crescendoing as people, people who love Jesus and people who have even adopted children in the past, choose a side and spew judgments across the harsh lines that have been drawn in the sand. All one has to do is google adoption, or jump into an adoption forum, or search around a bit on facebook to find the missile launching - on both sides. Daily I see articles and blog posts circulating explaining how what we are doing is all wrong. (This is true of missions right now as well, and our family is lucky enough to be in the middle of both of these hot button issues.)

I feel the passion that God planted in my heart fizzling out. Somedays, I look around and see the words that people are slinging at each other, and I feel overwhelmed in what seems like a war of causes. Having adopted myself, I understand both sides of the coin. I look at my Jamesy and my Habi, and I understand that for them, adoption was the best solution to a really horrible situation. I also understand that it was not God's original intention for children to ever grow up an ocean away from their birth country or families - that He created families and desired for families to stay together. On the same hand, we face the reality that we live in a fallen, broken Genesis 3 world, and sometimes the best solution in this messed-up world really will be adoption. I truly do believe that adoption can be a breathtaking portrait of the gospel - a small reflection of the love God has for us. I also feel very strongly about trying to keep birth families together when at all possible, and I understand that poverty should not be a reason that a mother has to abandon her child. Family reunification and discipling families to be able to live in harmony together is biblical, and orphan prevention is vital.

I care about all of this. I really do. I care about the ethics in adoption and the integrity of adoption agencies and NGOs. But {gulp} I also care about adoption, and I think that it does have a very valuable and needed place. I have not turned a blind eye to the very real and very messy issues. I understand that there is no quick-fix - no easy answer. I believe that each child, each family, each case, each agency, each NGO, each ministry, each country, has to be looked at individually. There is no blanket answer that covers everything. There is no one answer or one way fits all.

Friends, I am tired of the mud-slinging, the name-calling, and the demeaning way we are putting down the passions and callings of our brothers and sisters, especially when it comes to this hot-button issue of adoption and orphan care. When we loudly wave our picket sign claiming that this is the best answer, the most gospel-driven, the most godly, the only way, it is then that Satan wins. He has us exactly where he wants us - brothers and sisters in Jesus facing off, teeth bared, blood boiling and arguing over causes. Rather than actually doing anything, so many of us are frozen on the battle field and have become immobile. He hates families, and seeks to destroy them, and if he can put a rift in the family of Jesus, then he is very quick and eager to do that.

I am feeling convicted about all of the time, the passion, the energy that is being poured into arguing the sides. I do believe there is a time and place to have some hard conversations regarding these issues, but mostly I believe that in a time in history when the body of Christ could be making such a huge difference for the kingdom, we are relegated to bullying our siblings....and sadly we do it in the name of Jesus.

Why can't we just get along? What if we just stopped? What if we took a deep breath, did our own research, and trusted the Holy Spirit to do exactly what He has promised to do in each of our hearts - individually. What if we stopped trying to be the Holy Spirit for each other? What if instead of demeaning the passions and callings of others, we championed them? What if we acted like the body that we were called to be and just put a stop to the judging and the justifying - the critiquing masked by "just wanting to help open her eyes"? What if each of us just carried out our unique, individual call in the work of the gospel and cheered as others did the same? What if we supported each other in building the kingdom?

I don't want to devalue his contribution or hers. I don't want to be in the middle of the picketing. This brings fear and can cause us to become paralyzed, and instead of becoming passionate about anything, we become fearful of everything. We become scared that we will do it wrong and mess this up, but God is so much bigger than that. He understands our hearts and our motives. Let's lay this down at His feet, and trust His Spirit to guide in this area of adoption and orphan care (and all areas). Let's cheer our brothers and sisters along in their call. Will we get everything right? No, we won't. It's not possible on this side of heaven. We are human, and we are flawed. We will try, and we will fail. We will get things beautifully right some of the time, and we will make a mess some of the time, and in it all He is sovereign and weaving and orchestrating a beautiful story that we are all written into. We serve the God of redemption, and He redeems even our messes and mistakes. This is such an exciting time to live! We have so many resources at our fingertips, and there is so, so much that we can do for the kingdom when we are unified. There is so much potential in the Church right now, and rather than squelching that potential, let's encourage it.

I am confessing my own sin in this area. I am dropping my picket signs, and I am linking arms - for the King and His kingdom. Will you join me?

{source}

.Family.

Eighteen years ago, President Clinton declared November to be "National Adoption/Orphan Awareness Month". Eighteen years ago I was on the brink of turning 16. I was consumed with me. This continued for so many years. The only orphan I knew anything about was "Orphan Annie", and adoption was something risky that people who could not have "their own" children did. It was kind of weird, and it was for those crazy people. In all my years growing up in a legalistic Baptist church, and then attending a Bible college, I never once heard someone from the pulpit preach or teach on our mandate to care for orphans.

And I certainly did not investigate it myself.

What shocks me the most now, is that adoption was not even really mentioned in relation to the gospel, and it is such an important piece of the gospel. If it was mentioned, it was quickly glossed over with words like "spirit of adoption" and tied up in theological mumbo-jumbo, and then it was on to the next subject. It was never personalized. It was never intimate.

But WE were orphans, and God, through His beloved Son Jesus' sacrificial death on the cross - in our place, adopted us and made us His children. He eradicated our orphan status. He brought us into His family as His own, and we share all of the same blessings as His beloved Son, Jesus. We are no longer outcasts, we are no longer fatherless!

Read it again. How amazingly beautiful is this? And THIS is adoption. This is why we adopt. This is why we care for orphans - because God first cared for us and our heart is overflowing and bursting with that love - in a way that wants to physically express it. THIS is why I believe God calls so many believers to adopt. It really has less to do with the orphan and their need, and more to do with God gifting us with a breath-taking picture of the gospel. It is more about what happens inside of us when we say "yes". I have not experienced anything more beautiful than this tangible portrait of the gospel living and breathing inside of my own home.

And I could have missed it.

Because adoption was not my choice. Adoption is not something I ever planned to walk through. But, oh how God breaks down barriers, and lies, and preconcieved notions, and life plans, and how He replaces them with His ways, His vision, His love, and His plans.

I know that adoption is not God's plan for every Christian family. However, I also know that His plan is for every Christian family to care for the orphan in a personal, intimate way. We do not all need to make orphans sons and daughters, and bring them into our homes, but we do all need to do something.

Orphan care is not a fad. It is a mandate. Go ahead read your Bible, search out our responsibility to orphans. If we believe in Jesus Christ, we do not have an option to care for the orphan, but we do have an option in how we care for them.

Let's stop debating if we are called. Let's step up to the call, and please, let's support and encourage one another in the process.

Because if you are a believer, and I am a believer, we are all adopted into the same family, with the same Father. It's time to start acting like a family. I am weary of the Church functioning as an orphanage - broken, destitute, cold -  rather than a family. A family filled with the HOPE of Jesus.

Please join me on your knees for the millions of children around our globe that lay their head down tonight without the love of a daddy or a mommy. This is a reality that should haunt us. Let's get busy for these precious children, created in the image of God.

Let's have hard conversations about family reunification and family preservation. Let's talk about orphan prevention first and then orphan care. Let's advocate for ethical adoptions, but only when the previous attempts have been exhausted.

And friends, let's remember the reason we do any of this, the reason we love, is because we are loved. In the center of all of this is Jesus. Let's move forward without losing sight of His face.

Adoption is not just about couples who want children - or who want more children. Adoption is about an entire culture within our churches, a culture that sees adoption as part of our Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself... I want to ask what it would mean if our churches and families were known as the people who adopt babies - and toddlers, and children, and teenagers. What if we as Christians were known, once again, as the people who take in orphans and make of them beloved sons and daughters?


No one wants parents who adopt children out of the same sense of duty with which they may give to the building fund for the new church gymnasium. But all of us have a stake in the adoption issue, because Jesus does. He is the one who tells us His Father is also "Father of the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5). And, He is the one who insists on calling "the least of these" His "brothers" (Matthew 25:40) and who tells us that the first time we hear His voice, He will be asking us if we did the same.
 ~ Russell D. Moore

.Amazing Grace.

This is a reposting of my side of choosing Jamesy and special needs, but as I sit here I am realizing more and more how little choosing I did. Adoption was never my choice. Special needs was never my choice. A teenage boy from the streets was never my choice. But they were all God's choice - His perfect choice for me. It is amazing to think how God orchestrated that day (just like the day I met Habtamu) and all of the events that had to come together in order for me to land on that page and find my son, and the prepping He had done in my heart to get me to a point where I was ready to say yes, Lord.

---

I am inadequate to write this post. I have thought over it, prayed over it, dreamed of sharing it, and cried over it, but I still come here not knowing what to write. In writing this story of my son, I so desire for all of the glory and credit to go to my great God. I pray that His fame is renowned, and that Jim and I, and even our precious brown eyed boy, would fade into the background. We are just supporting characters in this story - the starring role was long ago reserved for my God, my Savior. For this is ultimately and completely His story, and I hold it loosely knowing who really holds the pen. I could never fully tell all that God has done to orchestrate getting Jamesy into our family. There is no way that my finite mind can begin to even comprehend, in order to tell, the supernatural way that God joined our family together through this amazing, wonderful, painful, beautiful, humbling journey of adoption.

Please know that this is only a part of Jamesy's story. This is the part that we feel led to share. The other part is reserved for Jamesy alone to share someday if he feels so led. We have very little to give him of his past, and would like to keep what we can sacred for him.

We chose this road of adoption -which was a big step for both of us a step of faith and some private, personal growth steps as well - for very unique reasons for both of us. But even after choosing this and obeying the Holy Spirit's prompting in this area of adoption and orphan care, we put our own human parameters on the kind of orphan that we thought God would choose for our family. We both felt very strongly about a boy. (I have the most tender spot in my heart for boys. I always wanted a son, and the thought of having two just excited me to no end! Not that this diminishes my love for my Cadi at all.) We also decided, without honestly much prayer, that God had a healthy infant boy for us. We knew any international adoption was risky, adoption in general is challenging and even hard, and we surely knew that God would not require more from us.

God began breaking my heart in a way that I could not fathom. He was growing me at exponential rates, like never before in my walk with Him. He was releasing us from our bondage of materialism and the American dream - a bondage we had not even known we were under. I was beginning to think that I was reaching a pivotal point in what God had to teach me through our adoption. And then God yanked the rug out from under me. I have shared this next bit in a previous blog post, but now I will add all of the details that I was not at liberty to publicly share until now.

It happened on a Thursday. It was mid afternoon, Cadi and Scotty were napping, my house was clean, we were having dinner at a friends' home and I had nothing to prepare, so I hopped on the computer and logged into AWAA's yahoo group. I scrolled through the newest messages. I saw once again someone mention the Waiting Child List. People had been mentioning it all week, praying that by the time Court reopened in Ethiopia (it closes for a month during Ethiopia's rainy season every year) the list could be cleared out. I remember thinking how great that would be, and how special those people were to be able to accept one of these children into their home. The list is full of children who have special needs - sometimes the special need is simply that the child is older and less likely to be adopted because there are very few requests for older children compared to the families requesting infants. Others of the children have varying degrees of special needs. I finally felt curious about this list. I wanted to join in praying for these children, but I needed to put faces to them. I requested the password and entered the site. Little did I know that this decision would change the course of our lives forever.

What sweet, beautiful children popped up on the screen. I slowly scrolled through them reading the little description written about each one and then quickly praying for the child and his or her forever family. That they would be united quickly, and that these children could be removed from the list. I then scrolled to the very last child. My heart kind of skipped a beat and I felt a gentle tug because the child was an infant and a boy, and then I read his description. I knew that God would never call us to that special need, though, I clearly remember thinking and feeling relief wash over me. That would be too hard, and we had already requested a healthy baby boy and were nearly done with our home study based on that request. Phew, off of the hook.

Then I opened his picture.

I do not know how to describe what happened next without sounding like a crazy person. In that moment I was living so outside my character that I am still overwhelmed and humbled with what happened next.

Immediately upon the photo popping up on my screen I burst into sobs, deep gut-wrenching, shoulder shaking, ugly sobs. Because I knew that he was my son. The only thing I can liken it to is having my newborn laid on my chest after birth, locking eyes with him, and knowing that he belonged with me. It was the exact same thing with this baby on my screen. He belonged with us! I was simultaneously filled with peace and fear. Peace, because I knew in my heart of hearts that he was indeed the child that God had ordained to be in our family. Fear because of what that meant God was asking this cowardly, shy, not confident girl to do.

He was aking me in that moment to say yes to this 7 month old baby boy that had been diagnosed as bilaterally blind and severely, chronically malnourished - the ramifications of his malnutrition and other special needs that could surface were unknown. Surely this cannot mean he is completely blind I thought. I quickly pulled up google and my heart sank as I realized that is exactly what it meant.

Really, God? A blind child? How do we do that?

I then googled the ramfications of chronic malnourishment and my stomach twisted as I learned of the severe delays and retardation it could (but not always - I tend to be a realist.) mean. I then began to fear what Jim would think and how I could possibly tell him that this boy was who God meant for us to adopt.

But my love for this boy and the knowing that he was my son was instantaneous and that overshadowed everything at the moment. Yesterday, Jim shared his side of the story. He battled it out with God, but the outcome was beautiful -obviously - look where we are today! Soon after that day, we both came to the same conclusion about this boy, we notified our agency, received his referral, and accepted it. I would love to say that it has been an easy road since then, that I was never plagued with doubts about the ramifications of our decision. That I did not stay up at night frozen with fear over the special needs that our son would carry with him. That I didn't feel scared and inadequate. But I cannot say that. There were days when Satan had a hay-day in my mind playing up every fear imaginable. There were nights where I laid in bed and tried to imagine how we were really going to do this with a blind child. I read several books on raising children with visual impairments, but they just made me fear. I pictured my son walking down the road with a walking stick. I feared not being able to learn Braille, not being adequate to homeschool him like our other children. It was a silent, private battle everyday for a long time. I was not batteling loving Jamesy, but to accept that our story was not ending exactly how we had thought was hard. To accept how the world would percieve my son was hard. He was already coming into our family different with his brown skin against our white, and now to add this.

But he was ours, and we obeyed. We obeyed scared some days, but we still obeyed.

Then special people in our life started telling us that they were praying for Jamesy's eyes. I thought that was weird at first. He's blind afterall, end of story. Surely the Jesus of the Bible would not still heal the blind. Or would He? My kind of church does not put a lot of emphasis on God's ability to heal, but God convicted my heart of stone, and I started to pray as well. I prayed that he would at least be able to make out the shapes of the faces of his family. I prayed fervently - somedays with great faith and somedays with barely any. I drilled every family about my baby, that I could from our agency, that went to the Transition Home for their court date or embassy trip. I pleaded with them to tell me about his eyes. At first it looked bleak. It seemed as if God had truly destined for us to raise a blind child. I kept reading things about how God still heals today through the power of prayer. Jim and I prayed together for Jamesy, and Cadi began to join in. Soon the reports were different.

Your son seems to be able to see light.

Your son cannot focus on my face, but he is trying too.

Your son follows shapes with his eyes.

During this time we also received news that Jamesy's eyes would shake, and that he seemed to have little control of them. I began researching this, and came to the uneducated conclusion that he has nystagmus. I very soon after found out that a very dear bloggy friend has this exact same condition. She gave me great, great hope, watched a video of Jamesy's eyes that we had received, and agreed that she thought he has nystagmus - which is NOT always blindness - as is the case for her. In the meantime, Jamesy kept gaining weight and growing as he was on nutritional rehabilitation. He was also right on track with his developmental progress - sometimes even ahead of where our other two children were at his age!

We set out for Ethiopia not knowing exactly what to expect. We found our son to certainly have some visual impairments, but we found him to NOT. BE. BLIND. Not at all. Although, at first, we were discouaraged to find that he could not seem to focus on our face or make eye contact with us. But we taught him to high five, he would catch bubbles, and grab our sunglasses - all impossible for a child with his diagnosis!

Then on our fourth day with him God gave me the amazing, unforgettable, life-changing gift of locking eyes with my son for 30 seconds as I fed him a bottle! He saw my face! He looked into my eyes and held my gaze. This all from a child who we were told would. never. see.

We will never know all that God has done in Jamesy's eyes, but we know that he has done a healing work. We know that it is not a case of him simply being misdiagnosed. When we were in Ethiopia we were told that when Jamesy was brought into the Transition Home in July he was BLIND. Then slowly over the course of the months he had been there he gained more and more sight! And those months? They coorelate exactly with the months when we prayed fervently for his healing.

Our son once was blind but now he SEES! God is still in the process of teaching me a lot through this. I will never understand this side of eternity why God is allowing me this blessing of being Jamesy's mommy. Did God allow Jamesy to be blind in order to bring him out of his orphanage and into the Transition Home? Or was it so that he would land on the Waiting Child List and be seen by us? Or was God testing us to see if we were willing to do whatever He asked? I believe the answer is yes to at least some of those, but I will never truly know until I meet my Jesus face to face. And it doesn't matter why.

We still do not know exactly what the future holds for our Jamesy, although he is far from blind, he does carry very weighty special needs with him. But those needs do not define our beautiful, amazing, created in the image of God, son. We know God is working mightily in his life, in our life, and in those who have heard his story. God has big plans for Jamesy - that much I know!

Whatever the reason, I am abundantly thankful that God has brought our sweet Jamesy into our family forever! God has changed us because of this story.

I once was lost, but now am found.
I once was blind, but now I see!

God, in His creative sovereignty used a precious, blind, brown-eyed boy to open my eyes and remove my blindness!

All praise and glory to Him. I am completely unworthy of His Amazing Grace!

Locking eyes for the first time.

.Jim's Story.

I am reposting a portion of my husband Jim's story in how God led him to choose our Jamesy and special needs. I know that orphan care can be considered a female issue, but let me tell you, seeing my husband step up and stand up and fight for the fatherless makes him one of the greatest men I know. There is something very masculine about watching a man choose to father the fatherless. I am thankful everyday for this example that my children have in our home. Jim is an amazing daddy to all four of our children.

Here is his story.


I remember the moment like it had just passed. I came home from work, with the kids still napping. I turned the key in door, stepped inside, and looked for my wife in that familiar place… when all was quiet and work was done… sitting at the computer. I came up behind her… she told me of the waiting child list, and the need for prayer. Then she did something she had done many, many times. She opened a picture of a little Ethiopian boy and said the words, isn’t there something special about this boy?

My response was immediate. I knew.

In my heart, I knew. It wasn’t her… she did not ask me ever to make him my son. But Someone did.

I was terrified, angry, hurt, and furious with the mere suggestion.

How dare You? Haven’t I gone far enough? Have I not given You all of me? Did I not say yes to You, simply by taking this journey?

Now this part will take a bit of a back story. To my shame, I was not the one who said yes first to this journey. In fact, I was resistant. Like most men, this was not my idea. However, God in His divine wisdom, gave me the clarity to know that before the journey began, I could not have any excuses. I could not have an out, like “this was really your thing.” So before I said yes, I begged God to make it all clear that this was His path for our life. And He did, and I knew… that this was our journey, not Tiffany’s path that I was watching her walk down…

Back to the story at hand. I believe my exact words were “No. I don’t want to. Not this.” Funny, because Tiffany never once asked me if I would consider adopting this boy, she simply said, isn’t there something special about this boy?

And there was, and I knew it.

I slunk into my favorite chair, ready to help God understand exactly why this was not okay. Ready to help Him see. We’re supposed to go to Giants games together. I am supposed to teach him how to do a turnaround jumper in the lane. I am supposed to teach him how to play flag football. I… and just as He had done thousands of years ago with the rich young ruler, He whispered the words that cut straight to the heart of the issue.

Just say it, Jim. I am not sufficient. Walk back into your church as a Pastor, tell everyone you know: this is bigger than I can handle. Quit your job; apply at the supermarket to bag groceries, because it is obvious you believe that this is too hard for Me.

It took me hours just to be able to pray for the baby boy on the screen. How could I pray that God would reveal His family, when I knew He already had, and that his foolish dad just wouldn’t say yes?

It was at this point that I thought, maybe I just don’t know what his special need of bilateral blindness is. I called my mother, a PhD research nurse, and my sister, an RN, (just in case my mom didn’t know what she was talking about!). The diagnosis was everything I had feared-to the greatest extent I had feared it would be… and the question that God whispered to my heart still lingered: am I sufficient?

Just as He had done many other times in my life, God spoke through His Word to my heart… He assured me of His sufficiency:

And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. {2 Corinthians 3:4-6}

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! {Matthew 7:11}

And on my birthday, we made the call to say, we want Yonas! And I can honestly say, thank you God. I would have never chosen this journey for myself, but You Who know my heart granted me good gifts.

Jim.

.Don't Adopt.

I think people get nervous when they find out we are an adoptive family and orphan advocates. Many times I see the look in their eyes, almost immediately. The one that speaks volumes with no words being uttered. The one that is panicked and defensive.

So, you think every Christian should adopt just because you adopted?!

Um, no. No, I do not. I have never said that, and I never will say that, because I do not believe that every Christian should adopt, or is qualified to adopt. Should every Christian pray and consider whether or not adoption is how God wants them to obey the mandate to care for orphans? Maybe. Should every Christian be involved in orphan care? Adamantly Yes.

When a family is praying through and considering adoption as a ministry, they must, must, must count the cost. The family must realize exactly what they are saying yes to, and exactly how much Satan hates adoption and will try to destroy the very thing we are desperate to give our children - family.

Yes, I am unapologetically a huge adoption and orphan advocate, BUT here are five reasons why a family should choose not to adopt:

• If you are looking to adopt a child to fill your expectations and your needs and your dreams, then it would be better to bring home a puppy, rather than a human being. We do not adopt to fill a need or a void in our own heart. We do not seek out a child that meets our criteria or list of specifications - there is no such thing. That is way too much unrealistic pressure to place on a child - especially a child who comes from a hard place (i.e. any child who is eligible for adoption has come from some kind of hard place and is experiencing loss to varying degrees). There is no way that all of our expectations could ever be met, and the disappointment will be felt by the child. A child is not a commodity, and to adopt a child in order to meet our needs turns that child into such. To treat a child in this way is dangerous, sad, and wrong. This hurts the child  and the family and the adoption community. The ramifications on this child's life can be devastating. Adoption is simply not about you.

• If you are not into parenting then don't adopt. Adoption is much less about the arduous process of bringing a child into your family, then it is about the long-haul of parenting that child to adult-hood. If a couple is not ready to make the long-term commitment to parent a child, then adoption ministry is simply not the ministry to pursue. Parenting is hard, grueling, and humbling. Parenting takes dieing to self daily. If you are not prepared or willing to parent a child then adoption is simply not for you. By adopting a child you are committing your life to that child, as a believer, you are pledging to raise that child while you follow Jesus. You are choosing to parent a child who is hurting and broken and yes, that is risky. You are vowing to shape and mold a new generation for the kingdom of God. This is a marathon, one that takes perseverance, prayer, steadfastness, and longevity.

• If your marriage is not rock-solid then do not adopt. When a couple decides to adopt they are automatically placing a target on their marriage and family. I strongly believe that the moment a family chooses adoption they will be under spiritual attack. (And that is saying a lot from this Baptist-raised girl.) I have seen it though. Satan HATES adoption. Adoption is such a portrait of redemption, and Satan wants to destroy redemption. He hates that orphans are becoming sons and daughters, and if he can get a foothold and destroy what you are trying to build up, he absolutely, unequivocally will. If a husband and wife are not unified, and if their marriage is not anchored in the gospel and Jesus, then adoption should not be an option. This does not mean that it will never be an option in the future, but for now, your marriage needs to be your primary focus. Find a marriage counselor and invest yourself in a different way in orphan care and orphan prevention for the time-being. Don't bring a child into your messy marriage -make sure your marriage is healthy and vibrant, lest the stress of an adoption has the ability to crumble and destroy your marriage and your family.

• If you are feeling guilt then don't adopt. While the Bible is filled with God's mandate to care for the orphan, and adoption is a wonderful solution for a part of the orphan crises, guilt should never be what motivates us. Yes, the need is great, tragic, and sad, but guilt shouldn't motivate us - LOVE should always be our motivation. Love for Jesus and His gospel. Love for redemption. Out of the overflow of our hearts should we ever seek to adopt. Guilt will fizzle and fade. Real, unconditional love is a choice, a commitment to that child. It is not ever an emotional response as a result of guilt. Yes, the need is great, but in order for an adoption to work you cannot be motivated by guilt because of the need, we must be motivated by love for the need.

• If you do not love or desire another child, then don't adopt. Sounds simple and silly, but it truly is something to consider. Adoption brings a child into your home. If you are not ready or do not want a child then don't adopt. If you are not willing to love and care for and raise a child, then a different orphan care ministry would be best for you. If you really do not want to adopt, than you simply should not.

Yes, adoption is remarkable and beautiful and glorious. It is life-changing. I am passionate about adoption. I will always be passionate about it. Adoption is at the heart of the gospel. Placing orphans inside of thriving families and eradicating their orphan status is exhilarating, and one of the most amazingly beautiful AND hard journeys I have ever been on. However, the blessing of adoption is truly not for every family. Because with the beautiful comes wreckage, heartache, brokenness, ugliness, and hurt. It is a life time commitment. A commitment that cannot be jumped into lightly - a family must step in with eyes wide open and a surety that this is the ministry that God is calling them to. If adoption is not the ministry God is calling you into, that is okay. There are so many other ways to care for the orphan, and God is just as pleased and glorified in those ways.

Yes, yes, yes, we need Christians to stand up and adopt and foster and bring children into our homes. We need to reflect the gospel in this way. However, not every Christian is willing, ready, or able to take on the immense brokenness that comes with adoption. Not every Christian should adopt.

.Wrecked.

I have allowed myself to be backed into a corner and silenced for awhile. Sure I continue to tell our story, and light brush strokes of our Ethiopian sons' stories, and I doubt that will end. Because everyone likes to hear stories of hope. But the advocating and truth telling has been muffled for a while now.

I got scared.

You see as a recovering people-pleaser, advocating for orphans makes me not so pleasing. But as I have been praying through this month, which is focused on adoption and orphan care, I feel the Spirit prodding me to break the silence and to be bold with the resources I have - one of which is social media. Social media gives me a voice - even if that voice is trembling. Truth be told, I am far from brave; every time I hit publish on these consecutive posts about orphan care, my stomach lurches a bit and I wince anticipating the blows that may come. And in a small way, I do get it. This is not pleasant. Orphan care is not pretty. The devastating need and plight of many of the orphans in our world today is uncomfortable to look at.

However, if I am being honest in how I advocate for these children, and paint a real, accurate photo, well, sometimes it's just plain ugly. Sometimes it looks like teenage boys laying on cold cement, huddled together eager for some comfort of warmth, huffing glue to stave off the incredibly painful hunger that rips through their stomaches. Sometimes it looks like sweet little girls selling their bodies to wicked men in hopes of recieving enough money to survive one more day. Sometimes it looks like babies laying listless in cribs - two to three diaperless and together - with malnourished bellies so swollen that to pick the child up would cause excrutiating pain. Sometimes it looks like bruised and battered children being shuffled in and out of one home after another just longing for routine, security, family. That makes me pretty uncomfortable to think about and to write about, and I am sure it is uncomfortable to read.

But sometimes it also looks like the Church just sitting comfortably by, passing this inconvenience on to the government or to that crazy family "called" to orphan care. And that is just plain ugly. It doesn't get any uglier than that. Not when the Church is the very answer that God set in place for the orphan crisis.

I think we need to start feeling uncomfortable. I am backing out of my corner and opening my mouth to speak the truth this month - even if it just wrecks my heart, and sets a fire back under me.

Wrecked.

I had all of these plans for my life, and none of them involved orphan care, and then God wrecked my life and pointed me to His heart, and to His plan, and to His special babies all over this world, made in His image, who need the Church to stand in the gap and step up and out for these children.

My plans were beautifully, gloriously wrecked, and it all started with the Holy Spirit prompting me after someone made me uncomfortable in their advocating. Maybe the Holy Spirit can use me this month. It's worth breaking the silence to find out. I only have my comfort to lose, and honestly that matters so little, as that comfort is false, I have true comfort with the Comforter living inside of me.

I am still scared, but that's just a small inconvenience, and I am not going to let it stop me from speaking up again.

.What is an Orphan.

I received this email a few years ago when I first became really passionate about orphan care and adoption on my blog. I want to revisit it today, because I know there are still times when we are asked a question similar to this. I think that sometimes as Christians we argue over semantics in order to free us from feeling burdened to do something. I am going to extend grace here and believe that was not the intent of the question. I do not want to start an argument over "what is a true orphan" when there are so many children around our globe needing us to step up and fight for them rather than about them. Having said that, here is a portion of that email:

I've been confused by your referring to orphans, but then it seems they have a living mother. I'm assuming there's a culture thing I have no clue about there, so I was just wondering why they need to be in an orphanage if their parents are living.

First let me make this disclaimer; I am not a biblical scholar. I am not an expert in any field whatsoever. But God has been doing the biggest work in my life these past three years that He has done to date - outside of my salvation. I am beyond passionate about his plea in James 1:27.

Now that my eyes have been opened, I take this mandate very seriously. I take the Bible at it's word and believe that the Bible means what it says. Maybe when I get to heaven I will need to ask Jesus forgiveness for taking His mandate so literally. It is a risk I am willing to take. I am ashamed for the years that I just glanced over that verse (James 1:27) in the Bible. The whole time thinking that wasn't for me, that wasn't my calling. I thought it had nothing to do with me. I thought it was someone else's call, but now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is mine, and it is yours - if you are a true believer. Not adoption - necessarily - don't misunderstand me. But ALL believers have been called to carry out and respond to James 1:27. As of late, I have studied that verse inside and out, as well as other passages that have to do with orphans. (I do understand that James 1:27 is more than about orphans, and I am concerned about widows and keeping oneself unstained from the world. I believe in caring for orphans and widows a person will be unstained by the world. My husband has great thoughts on this, and perhaps we will hear from him later this month.)

The following is what I have learned about orphans from God's perspective.

From my understanding of the Bible, the Bible defines an orphan in its most simplistic form as fatherless.

Strong’s Concordance suggests bereaved, fatherless, and comfortless as ideas inherent in the word “orphans” or “fatherless.”

So if an orphan is "fatherless", what does the Bible say about them....and our role with them?

Here are just some passages that talk of the fatherless/orphan. I know that I missed a few as the Bible is overflowing with these.

Hosea 14:3 Asshur shall not save us; we will not ride upon horses: neither will we say any more to the work of our hands, Ye are our gods: for in thee the fatherless findeth mercy.

Psalm 68:5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

Psalm 10:14 But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless.

Deuteronomy 10:18 He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

Psalm 10:18 To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.

Exodus 22:24 And my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.

Isaiah 10:1-3
Woe to those who decree iniquitous decrees,
and the writers who keep writing oppression,
to turn aside the needy from justice
and to rob the poor of my people of their right,
that widows may be their spoil,
and that they may make the fatherless their prey!
What will you do on the day of punishment,
and in the ruin that will come from afar?
To whom will you flee for help,
and where will you leave your wealth?

Malachi 3:5 Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the LORD of hosts.

Jeremiah 5:28-29 They have grown fat and sleek. They know no bounds in deeds of evil; they judge not with justice the cause of the fatherless, to make it prosper, and they do not defend the rights of the needy. Shall I not punish them for these things? declares the LORD, and shall I not avenge myself on a nation such as this?"

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Deuteronomy 14:29 And the Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do.

Psalm 82:3 Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.

Deuteronomy 24:17 You shall not pervert the justice due to the sojourner or to the fatherless, or take a widow’s garment in pledge.

Proverbs 23:10 Do not move an ancient landmark or enter the fields of the fatherless,

Exodus 22:22 You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.

Zechariah 7:10 Do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.

Jeremiah 22:3 This is what the Lord says: Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place.
Job 29:12-13 Because I delivered the poor who cried for help,and the fatherless who had none to help him. The blessing of him who was about to perish came upon me, and I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy.

Job 6:27 You would even cast lots over the fatherless, and bargain over your friend.

Ezekiel 22:7 Father and mother are treated with contempt in you; the sojourner suffers extortion in your midst; the fatherless and the widow are wronged in you.

Job 24:3 They drive away the donkey of the fatherless; they take the widow’s ox for a pledge.

Psalm 94:6 They kill the widow and the sojourner, and murder the fatherless;

Isaiah 1:23 Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves. Everyone loves a bribe and runs after gifts. They do not bring justice to the fatherless, and the widow’s cause does not come to them.

Deuteronomy 27:19 Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow. And all the people shall say, 'Amen.

Lamentations 5:3 We have become orphans, fatherless; our mothers are like widows.

This verse seems to sum up God's heart for the fatherless:

Psalm 10:14 But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.

After reading through these passages, and I hope you take the time to do so, it seems as though the quality of one’s devotion to God is measured by how one treats the widow and the orphan.

After researching what an orphan is, according to the Bible, and then many verses that talked about them, I came to two conclusions that I believe we as believers are commanded to obey when it comes to these fatherless:

1 We are to be extremely careful that we do not mistreat them.

2 We are to find opportunities to help them. (THIS is orphan-care.)


How that plays out in your life may look and feel very differently than how it plays out in mine, but that does not excuse either one of us to ignore what God has put before us. I believe this must play a role somehow and in someway in every single believer's life.

I really, really pray and hope that you can see my heart here. I believe my heart is just a very, very watered-down and mild reflection of God's. I truly believe God's heart is for orphans. I don't write all of this to be judgmental. I am only beginning to skim the surface when it comes to understanding my role in all of this myself. I just wish someone would have written to me or shared with me about this years ago. So I am hoping someone who reads this will be in that same boat.


(DISCLAIMER: Let me clearly state that I do not believe that God loves the orphans in Ethiopia best. I have simply lost my heart in Ethiopia, but I pray for believers to lose their heart for America's fatherless and Russia's and China's etc. Let's all just do our part in orphan care, wherever it is that God leads us, and let's stop judging where God leads someone else.)

.Family.

Seventeen years ago, President Clinton declared November to be "National Adoption/Orphan Awareness Month". Seventeen years ago I was on the brink of turning 16. I was consumed with me. This continued for years. The only orphan I knew anything about was "Orphan Annie", and adoption was something risky that people who could not have "their own" children did. It was kind of  a weird thing. In all my years growing up in a legalistic Baptist church and then attending a Bible college I never once heard someone from the pulpit preach or teach on our mandate to care for orphans. And I certainly did not investigate it myself.

What shocks me the most now, is that adoption was not even really mentioned in relation to the gospel, and it is such an important piece of the gospel. If it was mentioned, it was quickly glossed over with words like "spirit of adoption" and tied up in theology mumbo-jumbo, and then it was on to the next subject. It was never personalized. It was never intimate.

But WE were orphans, and God, through His beloved Son Jesus' sacrificial death on the cross - in our place, adopted us and made us His children. He eradicated our orphan status. He brought us into His family as His own, and we share all of the same blessings as His beloved Son, Jesus.

Read it again. How amazingly beautiful is this? And THIS is adoption. This is why we adopt. This is why we care for orphans - because God first cared for us and our heart is overflowing and bursting with that love - in a way that wants to physically express it. THIS is why I believe God calls so many believers to adopt. It really has less to do with the orphan and their need (which IS vast, and we will delve into that this month), and more to do with God gifting us with a breath-taking picture of the gospel. It is more about what happens to us when we say "yes". I have not experienced anything more beautiful than this tangible portrait of the gospel living and breathing inside of my own home.

And I could have missed it.

Because adoption was not my choice. Adoption is not something I ever planned to walk through. But, oh how God breaks down barriers, and lies, and preconcieved notions, and life plans, and how He replaces them with His ways, His vision, His love, and His plans.

I know that adoption is not God's plan for every Christian family. However, I also know that His plan is for every Christian family to care for the orphan in a personal, intimate way. We do not all need to make orphans sons and daughters, and bring them into our homes, but we do all need to do something.

Orphan care is not a fad. It is a mandate. Go ahead read your Bible, search out our responsibility to orphans. If we believe in Jesus Christ, we do not have an option to care for the orphan, but we do have an option in how we care for them.

Let's stop debating if we are called. Let's step up to the call, and please, let's support and encourage one another in the process.

Because if you are a believer, and I am a believer, we are all adopted into the same family, with the same Father. It's time to start acting like a family. I am tired of the Church functioning as an orphanage - broken, destitute, cold -  rather than a family. A family filled with the HOPE of Jesus.

Please join me on your knees for the millions of children around our globe that lay their head down tonight without the love of a daddy or a mommy. This is a reality that should haunt us. Let's get busy for these precious children, created in the image of God. Let's go all out. I am willing to make a fool of myself this month if God can use my inadequate words to change the life of one of these beautiful children. Who is with me?

Adoption is not just about couples who want children - or who want more children. Adoption is about an entire culture within our churches, a culture that sees adoption as part of our Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself... I want to ask what it would mean if our churches and families were known as the people who adopt babies - and toddlers, and children, and teenagers. What if we as Christians were known, once again, as the people who take in orphans and make of them beloved sons and daughters?


No one wants parents who adopt children out of the same sense of duty with which they may give to the building fund for the new church gymnasium. But all of us have a stake in the adoption issue, because Jesus does. He is the one who tells us His Father is also "Father of the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5). And, He is the one who insists on calling "the least of these" His "brothers" (Matthew 25:40) and who tells us that the first time we hear His voice, He will be asking us if we did the same.
 ~ Russell D. Moore

.Summer has Come.

Have you ever been part of a moment that was so big, so amazing, so wonderful that no words would ever accurately blanket it? We were part of a moment such as this on Sunday morning. Joanna and Steve, after two long, hard years, finally stood at the front of their church as a complete family of six. Their precious Ethiopian daughter, Tsega was firmly tucked into their arms. As I sat in the pew and looked at their family I could not help but notice how they all looked so right together.

We were invited to come to Tsega's dedication ceremony. This was also the first time Tsega was brought to church, as she had been safely cocooned in her new home until then. I honestly have never witnessed anything like this. We ended up arriving at the church at the same moment as Jo and Steve. I walked through the church doors with Jo carrying Tsega, and as soon as she stepped in the building people began clapping, taking photos, and just rejoicing in the long awaited presence of this sweet little girl.

The service started with praise and worship, and the excitement and joy in that church was palpable. I fought tears the entire time. I have seen a lot of baby dedications in my life, having grown up in a church where those were the norm. But I had never, ever seen one like this, and any words I can think to describe it fall so flat. It was emotional and beautiful and tender as the pastor edified Jo and Steve to raise Tsega (along with their other children) to love and worship and serve her Creator, and to give her right back over to God. His words were poignant and from the heart, and it was so refreshing to hear the emotion in his voice as he swallowed back tears. He mentioned a few times how the whole church was behind their adoption and supported them through it, and I could sense that was true.

The dedication climaxed in the most beautiful, thoughtful, God-ward way. The pastor called to the front every person who had prayed Tsega home over the past two years to surround Jo and Steve and family. It was breathtaking. We were shoulder to shoulder circling their family. There was no room left in the front. My tears fell quick and hot as the Pastor prayed a beautiful prayer of dedication over Tsega's sweet life - giving her back to God. Then as we lifted our bowed heads we were led to sing the hymn that JO has continuously sang over Tsega since bringing her into her care How Great Thou Art. I dare say there was not a dry eye in the room.

As I stood there trying to sing past the burning lump in my throat I just kept thinking that I had just seen a true and beautiful portrait of God's redemption. I will not forget that moment for as long as I live.

Later, at the reception the church held for the family, Jo and I were able to get this photo captured together with our Ethiopian babies. It is something we dreamed of and talked of for the past year. Joanna taught me so much as she allowed me into her story. She taught me how to trust my Savior more, how to say amen or Yes, Lord, and mean it, and how to walk the hard paths with grace. I could fill up pages of a journal with wisdom she has gifted to me.



At the end of January, after our first trip to Ethiopia, when I was aching and feeling as if I could be swallowed up in the pain of leaving my youngest baby behind in a third world country, and Joanna was waiting and waiting for a court date to see her baby girl, she mailed me a card. The card is tucked in between the pages of my Bible. In the card is a photograph of a beautiful tree loaded with pink blossoms. Jo wrote this on the back of the photograph.

I believe Summer will come - we will feel the warmth of the sun on our faces and hold all of our children soon enough.

With a deep sigh of joy, contentment and amazement, I can say that Summer has come.

And on Sunday I truly did feel the warmth of the SON.

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.Sometimes I Have to Pinch Myself.

Especially when I walk into a room and see this - all three of my children together.

It has been six weeks today that Jamesy has been in our home- safe and sound in our arms - surrounded by his family.

It seems as if this six weeks have flown by and at the same time as if he has been here forever.

The moment Jamesy was carried off of the plane, Scotty stepped into his brand new role as big brother. The shoes fit. He was created for that role.

I get it now. I get why families adopt over and over. It is because they have encountered a real, living, breathing miracle of redemption, as they are able to witness the change in a child, when love and family are finally given to one.

How a child goes from this

To this.

And I now see why I will never lay my head on my pillow again, or look into the eyes of my sweet brown-eyed boy, without thinking of the faces of the countless others whom we left behind. Starving and literally dieing for this thing called family.

The need is huge, even unthinkable and overwhelming. No, we cannot change the life for every orphan, but many of us can change the life of one or two or... And honestly you will be the one truly changed.

I certainly was.

I've heard it said that the need for families to adopt, and for the church to participate in orphan care, is not really that great. How this is just a passing fad. But I know the truth. Every night I hold that need in my arms and rock him to sleep.

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Whose Responsibility is It?

I am reading Fields of the Fatherless (I keep messing up the title, but I just double checked and got it right! Ha!) by Tom Davis. Jim and I and a few others are praying over how orphan care might fit into our church and are using this book as a tool. Tom Davis is also featured in the video that I am posting below. I shared it with family members and friends on facebook who are burdened to care for orphans, and now I share it with you. We watched it as a family over breakfast today. I cried over my toast and into my coffee. I love that my children have become aware of our responsibility at such a young age.

If you did not read my previous post, please, please do so. This is an emergency situation in Ethiopia!

We have a problem in our culture. We have ceased the ability to be vulnerable. To be Broken.

When you live life that way, you cannot self select emotions. To be fully human, you have to be fully real - fully alive. But we're trying to protect ourselves.

And when we are talking about the cause of the orphan.... what happens to people who are not in touch with their living and brokeness is that they separate themselves and they only go so far.

.But What Can I Do?.

It is true that not everyone feels the call to adoption, but understanding our biblical responsibility to care for orphans (over 147 million of them) can make one frustrated and overwhelmed.

Don't let the need paralyze you into doing nothing.

Don't let the numbers be just a statistic. Those numbers correspond with a face...a child. One of them stands for my child.

But what can I do? One might ask.

While adoption is a beautiful and biblical way to care for the orphan. It is not the only way. Yes, I think our churches should be filled with families who have adopted, are in the midst of adopting, and are beginning the blessing of adoption, and yes, I think that every family who is serious about their relationship with Christ should earnestly pray about adoption for their family. However, I do know that this is not God's plan for every believer. But it is God's plan for every believer to be involved in orphan care. So this week, during National Adoption Month, I want to share some other ways that believers can get involved in orphan care other than adoption.

Today I would like to highlight an incredible ministry called Moju Project. The premise behind Moju Project is that you can change the world by the way you shop! They sell really great looking t-shirts and other adorable accessories (check out the Cambodian ruffle scarf! {love}). Money from everything they sell goes toward a social injustice - including feeding orphans! Check out their about section at the top of the site, and read all about how buying a product from their store can help feed an orphan. Not only does monies go toward social injustices, but by wearing a t-shirt we can spread awareness of the needs around us and hopefully intrigue people to search out their biblical responsibility when it comes to those needs.

Jim and I have been thinking through Christmas gifts this year, and we would like to have everything we buy support orphans, widows, or other social injustices. I am not sure if we can accomplish this, but I would like to try! Want to join us and shop with a purpose this year? Why not start with Moju Project? Click the button below.

Or try one of these other trusted sites.

Wiphan Care ministries

The Mercy House Shop

One Stop Adoption Shop

Just Love Coffee

If you have some trusted links that you would like to share please do in the comment section!

What a fun and easy way to obey James 1:27!


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