.On Mission.

We are entering our fourth month here in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. It is nothing and everything that I imagined it to be. It’s hard to know what and how to share life here. I want to be authentic and transparent, yet, at times transparency looks dangerously similar to complaining. As a newbie missionary being welcomed into this beautiful foreign country, I am sensitive about complaining about a culture that I am still getting the hang of. In all honesty, we have been welcomed and embraced here better than some foreigners are welcomed into our home country of America. So, I want to be respectful, and this silly, yet profound quote keeps swimming around in my head.

When the bull is in a strange country, it does not bellow. -Old Zulu proverb

At the same time, our life is far from glamorous, and most would be surprised to peek inside it and see how closely our mundane mimics your mundane. We are just doing life, living incarnationally, looking for ways to follow Jesus practically by loving and sharing the Good News with the people He places in our path, but we happen to be doing it across the ocean from many of you. And then there is also this silly myth that swirls around regarding missionaries, especially missionaries who sugar-coat life on the field. The myth that says missionaries are singled-out, special, elite, highly-talented, spiritual giant, super Christians. Well, I am here to blow that myth out of the water, because we are anything but that. Maybe there are missionaries who do fit that description, but we are not them, and most that I have met are not them. There is nothing super about us. We have fears and doubts and anxieties. We argue and bicker and make mistakes and messes. Some days are complete washes and we yell at our kids, worry too much, grumble and complain and wish for different circumstances. We are so very normal (or as normal as we can be). We are messy people who love Jesus just like you.

It is true that not every follower of Jesus is called to move overseas to live, but don’t let Satan fool you into thinking it is only the special ones that are called to be on mission. We are all given a mission field. Having moved here has actually opened my eyes wider to the fact that we had a mission field back home, the same as we have one here. God uses us all exactly where He places us when He places us, and no follower is more special because of what field God has placed him in. Each person is intimately equipped for the very place and time God has placed her in. For some that will be Africa or Asia, and for others it will be rural and suburban USA.

In just a few hours our calendars flip to a brand new year. It’s a fresh start to embrace the mission field that we each have been called to. Some are sent into the corporate business world, some into hospitals and medical clinics, some to villages in Africa, some to rock babies and cook meals and tend homes, some to churches and schools; no matter where you go this new year, you go, not just because it is your job or the rhythm of your life, you go because you are being sent to these very specific places by Jesus. You are being sent for this exact moment in time, and you are irreplaceable. That changes everything doesn’t it? No longer do we need to classify Christians into elitist groups, but rather we are unified as we realize that truly we all have a hand in building the Kingdom exactly where we are sent. The role of a missionary has been assigned to all of us who follow Jesus. So, this year, let’s tear down the silly pedestals and let’s throw ourselves into the field that we are sent to, supporting and encouraging one another, and their unique fields, along the way.

This is the day the Lord has made for me:

 This is the place the Lord has put me in...

 These are the people the Lord has given to me...

 Let me rejoice and be glad in them.

.A Simple Command - Or is it.

Jesus told the disciples to go and preach  the gospel. It was a simple command. There is really not anything confusing about it. Yet, for so many of us we have stayed. We have stayed inside of our churches and think that discipleship means making our churches look pretty and hanging billboards and dreaming up programs and events, so that perhaps "if we build it they will come." We stay inside our homes and claim that our mission is our family, and we idolize our family time - protecting it with everything inside of us. We keep our children at home and teach them. We stay, and we swaddle deeper and deeper into this little comfortable cocoon that we have created. We sterilize our surroundings, and we make excuses and rationalize away that simple command.

I know, because I have done it.

But in order to fulfill the command we have to go amongst the people. We have to go to the margins, and we have to engage people like Jesus did (And Jesus engaged some shady characters - like prostitutes and tax collectors. There wasn't anything safe or sterile about the people He chose to rub shoulders with.) We have to get out of our churches and turn our focus and attention outward, get out of our home churches, get out of our little sterile communities - our cell groups, community groups, etc., and we absolutely have to start mimicking Jesus. We cannot rely on others to come to us - even if we invite them, even if we make our homes and churches and "Christian" communities inviting. Jesus went. We are called to imitate Jesus. (1 Corinthians 1:11)

From everything I can understand about this command, it doesn't exempt stay-at-home mommies - not even the homeschooling ones - like me. I don't think that we can use the excuse of raising our children to hold off on the Great Commission until later. I have heard (and used in the past) the argument that says by a mom staying at home with her children she is doing her part to participate in the Great Commission, but I am not so sure if I believe this anymore. The very first verb in the Great Commission is go. If this is the critical mission for every person that claims Jesus as their Leader, then why are so many of us staying?

I do not think that this was a casual suggestion for a few crazy radicals, and yet I have lived like it is exactly that. I know we are called to go and preach. I know every single follower of Jesus has this call on their life. I am  now understanding that being a stay-at-home mommy does not give me a free pass. But I also know that not every single one of us is meant to go out and buy an airplane ticket in order to move into the jungle of Africa. However, I really do think that we need to go to where the people are. Jesus went to the woman in Samaria at the well. He didn't wait for her to come to Him. He didn't decorate his home, and prepare a big meal, and invite the woman in, crossing his fingers that she would come. Jesus went to her. He met her where she was comfortable. He laid aside what the culture (both religious and social of that day) considered appropriate, and He went.

And I am called to mimic Jesus - yes, to mimic what He did with the woman at the well.

Go and preach the gospel. A simple command given to every person who claims the name of Jesus, but what exactly does it look like?

(source)

 I would love to have you join the conversation.

.True or False.

I have spent literally hours researching new products and watching youtube videos for Jamesy's hair.
I spend more time and energy on his hair than on my own.
I have mastered twist outs for him, and endured raised eyebrows from our very white, non black culture church when Jamesy appeared with his BIG head of hair. Ha!
I got a stomach ache over handing in Cadi's first quarterly report for homeschooling.
We are only just into her second quarter, and I can feel my perfectionsistic self-induced pressure rising with homeschooling.
I am nipping it in the bud, by surrendering it to Jesus.
One thing I have done is stopped writing lesson plans.
I have not written a lesson plan since Jim went to Ethiopia.
The world has not stopped, and school is getting done, and I can breathe easier.
I also have a few more hours in my week back.
I really only used the teacher manuals and not my lesson plans anyway. I was just caught up in "doing them" because it was the "right thing to do".
Classical Conversations could not be working any better for us.
Next year I think I am even going to scrap our spelling curriculum and handwriting curriculum (as much as I do LOVE them), and pull everything from CC in order to streamline and give me more flexibility.
We have been dreaming about growing our family again.
We have been enjoying the little family God has given us for now, but someone is missing or maybe two someones, three??!!
I am vowing to take a very relaxed approach to Christmas, but I am still trying to making it memorable and meaningful for our children.
I love Thanksgiving, and being intentional about thankfulness, but honestly I am one of those people that start dreaming of Christmas in September and kind of steamroll Thanksgiving.
Jamesy has been sleeping in our bed in the middle of the night a lot.
He is the best snuggler, and I fall asleep so easily with him spooned against me.
I was the mom who said I would NEVER cosleep with a child.
We are thinking of making a family closet and rearranging bedrooms.
I miss my sister and her family.
I love pinterest.
I have been doing so many crafts thanks to pinterest.
My children all have adorable Thanksgiving outfits thanks to pinterest.
Jim keeps calling me a "homeschool mom", especially when I tried to convince him that I needed to sew pants for my boys for Thanksgiving.
I am not sewing pants for the boys for Thanksgiving.
I still kind of want to.
I have not gone grocery shopping in three weeks.
The cupboards are bare.
But it is only because I have been lazy.
We are making due just fine with what we have.
I miss my husband when he is at work.
Lately I have been so, so thankful for the relationship we have, and I want to fight to preserve it.
Jim and I went on a mini date this Saturday!
I had much guilt about breaking our attachment plan four months early.
I had a dear friend kick my legalistic butt, and I am so glad that we got away for a few hours!
I miss Ethiopia - horns honking, donkeys braying, Amharic lilts, the smell of frankincense and coffee roasting....
I am giddy about going back in July.
I think about Habtamu everyday.
My memory card reader broke {again}, so I have no new photos to upload.
My husband did tons of laundry for me this weekend.
I still have to put it away.
Scotty's first Christmas ornament just came in the mail.
It's time for school and another cup of coffee.
All true.

.And I Saw His Face {again!}.

This morning I opened my email's in box to find the most wonderful gift....

new photos of my son, Jamesy!! A sweet family traveled to Ethiopia last week for their court date and sent over a little care package that we had put together for Jamesy and took photos of him for us! These photos are priceless. When I opened the first one, I thought she had mixed up children and that he was not ours because he is so BIG!! But then I saw his adorably shaped elfish ears, and I knew that he was mine! He is two months older right now then he was in our referral photos. He looks so HEALTHY. I am just grinning at what God has done for His little body, and how He has used the precious nannies to take care of him. I have been praying that one nanny would really bond with our little guy and would look out for him in a special way. Someone is definitely taking very good care of him from the looks of his photos!

I hesitated to write this next part, because I do not want to come across as foolish, as naive, as someone who has my head in the clouds, or as a "religious crazy person", but I think I need to write it. I am praying and believing that God is healing Jamesy's body of his "special needs". We have other people that have told us that they are doing the same (without us asking them to). And after seeing these photos, it is evident that God is at work. Let me make this clear, though. No matter what we want Jamesy, and we chose him knowing what we did about his needs. We were 100% willing to take on the challenge of what those needs would bring, and that has not changed. However, I think God has something to teach us with Jamesy, and I believe that God is wanting us to believe that He can heal him. And I believe that. God has big plans for our boy, there is something so special about him. In every photo we have gotten of him he has been HAPPY. The family that took these new photos of him told us that he is a happy boy. I have never seen a child that has been orphaned look so happy prior to being with his or her forever family. It blesses my heart.

And although, I am believing that God will heal Jamesy, if God has another path for us and for our boy, I know that He is still on the throne, and my Jesus is still the same. Right now I think God just has something amazing to teach me in the believing. So that is what I will choose to do - believe.

But He said, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
(Isaiah 55:9)

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.”
(Ephesians 3:20)

PS My article was published at Raising Homemakers today.


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.A Picture of a Pastor's Wife.

I have officially been a pastor's wife for going on four months now. I am feeling my way through this new role in my life added to my other roles of wife, mommy, and homemaker. I am learning and growing everyday, and God's grace and patience is ever present.

One thing that has not changed is that I continue to be my husband's help meet, my husband's biggest supporter - his number one fan. I think that is vital in his role as a Pastor and my role as his wife. But you know what? This was vital before I became a pastor's wife - it is vital for every wife living out her biblical mandate.

It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18

As a pastor's wife, I continue to cheer Jim along. I continue to keep our home and try to make it a place of respite - a calm oasis that he can walk into each evening. I take very seriously my role of homemaking, and I try to pour my heart into it. When I do that, when I see it as a ministry, I find great joy in keeping a home.

I am learning that I have to really guard our family time. It was something I practiced in our last ministry, but it has become just as vital in this new ministry. I try to protect Mondays - that is our family day. We have never had a specific family day before. At camp things always came up at the last minute, and we could never be guaranteed any plans. It is so wonderful knowing that we will always have Mondays together. So I wrap my arms around Mondays and guard that time as a family.

My ministry may not be what others deem the picture of a perfect pastor's wife. I try to be okay with that. Right now I do not have a specific ministry in the church, because, even though I am now the wife of a pastor, my primary ministry has not changed - I am a wife to my husband, a mommy to my children, and keeper of my home. Those are three very BIG ministries, and if I want to do them well and biblically, and I do, then those are the ministries I must focus on in this phase of my life. Down the road when my children are older, God will open up doors for me to serve in more tangible ways. The wonderful thing is that for the most part, this is completely understood and accepted by our church family. There was so much pressure in our camp ministry - and I am the first to admit probably mostly internal - for me to get more and more involved with the ministry. I lived with so much guilt. Guilt that I could not put my best into anything - not into camp and not into Jim, my children, and my home. It weighed on my heart heavily. It is such a blessing to not feel this anymore - to be able to breathe and enjoy this precious time. This ministry is what I was created for at this time in my life, and I am so fulfilled.

God is really working in my heart in the area of hospitality. I will be writing a whole series on this for Raising Homemakers, so I will not go into detail now. I will let you wait and read it there. I think this is the biggest area of our life that is changing with Jim in the pastorate. It has been exciting and a little intimidating for me!

So what does a pastor's wife look like?



She does not look much different from any other wife striving to live out her roles in a God-honoring way.

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.This is How I do It.

Recently I have been asked by a few different people about blogging.

More specifically how do I balance having a blog and having my family?

I thought it was a good question, and one that I have even wrestled with on and off, so I decided to address it right here on my blog. This is how I do it. I just have a tiny blog, and I write to remember, so I don't feel pressure like maybe some "bigger" bloggers might. So if you are wondering how they do it - ask them! {grin}

I blog. A lot.

I just have an insatiable desire and even an intrinsic need to write, to get my thoughts out in some way. I am an avid fan of journaling, and I have loved that since my childhood. It started with a beautiful scented diary, complete with a lock and little key when I was eleven years old. My love of recording my thoughts, feelings, and the moments of right now took off like a forest fire. I could fill boxes with old diaries and journals. I still love journaling, but it has taken a different form in this stage of my life - in my homemaking journal and here on my blog.

For me blogging can consume my entire day, if I were to let it. I don't. Here is how I try to make sure of that:

I write my posts quickly. That is because before I ever sit down at my computer to type them out, I have already written and rewritten them in my head. This post, for example, was written the other night as I was trying to fall asleep in bed. Sometimes my posts are written while I am taking a shower, or doing mundane housework, or running on my treadmill. I have done this for as long as I can remember - write in my head and then on paper.

I stockpile photos. I have numerous photos that could go along with various posts. I edit them at different times (usually) then I type a post. Now sometimes a photo just begs me to write a certain post, and I do that, too. I usually only get little chunks here and there to sit at the computer, so that is what works for me.

I draft posts and schedule them to publish (this post for example is drafted. I am not sure when I will choose to publish it.), so if I ever do have a good chunk of time I can write a whole week's worth of posts in one sitting. This has become huge for me, especially with taking on my new role as a Raising Homemakers writer. Early on in my blogging I learned that one should always publish posts at different times of the day, rather than always publishing at say 2:00 in the afternoon. I practice this, but don't know if it really matters!

My family and living life always comes before blogging. I would rather live it then blog it! And if ever blogging starts to take precedence, or I just need a break - I take it, and have done that even recently.

I have just started viewing my blog as a ministry, and I pray about it. I also pray that God would help me to maintain balance and not let blogging consume me, because at this point in my life blogging is not my main ministry - being a wife, mommy, and homemaker is.

I love reading blogs, and I love the godly women I have met via blogging. However, I do have to limit my time reading blogs everyday. I used to read a book every afternoon. Now I read blogs, and I save my books for before bed. I have to set a timer for myself, though. I really do. There are just so many fantastic blogs out there, but I only have so much time.

When I am with my family - I try to be intentional and in the moment.

These are just a few of the ways that I can think of right now that I balance blogging with family.

I certainly do not want to miss precious and cherished moments with these three while I sit in front of a computer.



Now I am curious. How do you balance blogging and family?

.I Got Dressed!

This week I joined Sarah Mae and several other women in a "Get Dressed" challenge. We purposed to shower, get dressed, AND do our hair and makeup by 8:00 AM. The biggest challenge for me was doing my hair and makeup. I have gotten into a bad routine where I throw on sweats or a t-shirt and jeans, and put a big fat hair wrap in my hair most days. I only do my hair or put make-up on if I am going out or if someone is coming over. I wasn't always like that. I used to be married to my make-up and hair tools, but in the last few years I have slipped. I actually felt really good doing this challenge this week. And my husband even told me on Wednesday morning that I looked "beautiful". SO I count this a major success, and I hope to keep it up. After looking at Sarah Mae's photos, though, I think I need to invest in a few skirts for this summer - so pretty!

Here is how I did this week:

The ONLY day I flat ironed my hair! That is too much work for a week day! Ha!


I cheated a bit this day with the hair wrap! {wink} BUT this was the day Jim told me I was beautiful!


I just noticed that the clock is actually wrong in this photo!! I promise it was before 8:00!!

Thank you to my sweet husband for taking these photos for me every morning! {grin}

.Let's Be Honest.

Okay I must be honest for a moment.

I {really} have been enjoying getting acclimated to Jim's new position as a Pastor. And I am learning it is so much more than a new position, or a new ministry.

It is a way of life.

And I am loving it.

I am learning so very much. I am learning to open my home on a moment's notice. Something that I have never ever been good at. (Have I mentioned before how much I love order and routine and knowing what will happen ahead of time?! ha!) But truly God is chiseling away at me. He is working on my hospitality, my priorities, my pride, oh how He is working!

Our Pastor's wife (We have two pastors at our church - Jim is one. He is the Associate Pastor.) gave me such wise counsel shortly before Jim was hired. She told me to be ready to just let Jim go and minister. I didn't really "get it" when she told me that, but after three short weeks in this ministry I am getting it. I also realize what wisdom was in her words. She has taken me under her wings and has helped me immensely as I feel out this new path before us.

That is {part of} why I have not written any posts in a long time.

The other reason is more foolish.

Awhile back I wrote a post that I was and am very passionate about. I do not regret anything that I wrote, as I have read it and reread it. But I learned that the particular post was misunderstood and misinterpreted to mean something that I was not intending. And it kind of knocked the wind out of my sails. My husband read the post in question and supported my position 100% and did not see a problem with it. But I have just been hesitant to write anything. My skin is not thick. I do not like stirring up controversy. {bleck}

Even now I hesitate to push publish. I have stated and restated that this blog is for me, for me to cherish the moments and preserve the memories of my young family. Along the way I have gathered a handful of dear, sweet readers who amazingly God has allowed my words to encourage their hearts. It is humbling and exciting, because for as long as I could write my letters I have wanted to write and impact people. I always thought I would publish a book, and I even tried a few times. However, God has shown me the past few months that my platform with writing for now is my blog, and I love that. It just hurt to be misunderstood, but I need to get a backbone because that is part of this bit. Is it not?

Mondays are our family day now. I love that. Yesterday we drove to see Jim's parents and stopped at a few thrift stores along the way. Jim and I had a nice chance to talk during our travels. He encouraged me to keep blogging. He feels that it is an important ministry that I have. Maybe he is right. I pray God can use me despite me.

So in being honest, I had my feelings hurt. I sulked for a bit, but I am back. I'm not giving up.

Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

.Anticipating.

Spring.

For the first time in literally years I am truly anticipating spring!

Last week the weather was beautiful here. One day, and now I have lost track of which day, was actually 70 degrees! I enjoyed the warmer days with my children outside. We played with sidewalk chalk, walked our neighborhood streets - chatting with neighbors and waving to elderly couples sitting on their porches. We kicked around balls. We ran in our small back yard. I dug in my flower bed, and finally got it cleared out from last summer. My children got gloriously dirty and muddy and tired. We drank fresh fruit smoothies. My children took naps with the scent of sunshine in their hair. I dreamed of my first vegetable garden and made plans while they slept. We even had our first {indoor} barbecue with our best friends. I anticipate this will be the first of many we will share as the weather turns warmer.

As our home was quiet inside, I realized how very much I was actually anticipating spring.


I usually am the one hoping for one last snow storm, even through March and April. I am realizing now, that it actually had little to do with the snow, but rather was the fact that the snow kept us together in our home longer. I hesitated to write this at all, as I do not want to be misunderstood.

This time of year is usually very hard for me. I traditionally am very melancholy feeling on the inside, but try to make up for it by being overly enthusiastic about what is to come. About now I would start making lists of everything we would have to pack for an entire summer plus (May through the end of August, sometimes the beginning of September). I hated making those lists. I hated packing. I hated moving away for the whole summer, and missing out on everything here. Please don't think that I hated camp. That is not true. But there were parts of the ministry (like any ministry I am sure) that were very tough. The packing and moving was one of them. So I dreaded the spring. I dreaded the end of the winter. I dreaded knowing that our family unit would once again be pushed to its limits. I dreaded the lack of privacy, the lack of my own food, my own things, and at the same time I was anticipating so many things. It was always a tug-of-war, a wrestling and a determination to be excited and put on an excited face for what was to come.

And though, I know in the next few months, I am going to go through terrible campsickness, and that I will miss camp, and the people, and the fun. Right now, I am truly enjoying anticipating spring.

For behold, the winter is past;
the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth,
the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.
The fig tree ripens its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away.

Song of Solomon 2:11-13

.A New Chapter.

I am wondering what tomorrow will hold, as our home church votes on Jim as the associate pastor. I am wondering if this will be our new chapter. We continue to be prayerful and hopeful that it is.

I can remember just like it was yesterday the day that I knew God was calling us out of the camp ministry. It was this fall, October tenth. I will never forget that date. The night before Jim had asked me to pray about the possibility of him going into farming with our best friends! I know - crazy. Looking back now, I can see it was just Jim feeling God's tugging. I was upset that Jim had asked me to do that. I did not want to pray about it. I did not want to leave camp. Camp was safe. We were secure. Jim's job and ministry was secure. I didn't pray about it that night or that morning.

I was scheduled to take a family's photos that Saturday. First, I had to drive to camp and help prepare a lunch for a paintball retreat, though. Jim had left several hours before me, so I drove up alone with my children. I remember about five minutes into my forty five minute drive that I felt God tugging on me to pray. I put a Steve Green's kid's CD in, turned it up, and began to pray out loud. I don't remember the exact words I said, but I remember just pouring my heart out to God. I know I told Him about my fear of leaving camp for the unknown, my fear of letting God truly have control over our life. About fifteen minutes before I got to camp that day, I began to cry. I remember worrying that I would frighten my children who were in the back seat. I was not silently crying, I was sobbing, gasping for air, sniffling - all out crying. I almost pulled over,and for safety reasons I probably should have. However I kept driving - talking out loud to God and crying because I had gotten this overwhelming feeling - rather a knowing - that God was asking us to leave camp, and not only that, but He was asking us to leave soon - before another summer, to step out in faith, to trust Him. He was asking me to stop trying to manipulate our lives, to stop playing it safe. I was fairly certain that God did not have farming in our future. I knew that Jim was gifted in the area of ministry, and that he had not yet been able to use all of his giftedness. I just didn't have any idea at that time what God had in store.

Let me just say, that I have never before had a conversation with God like this. I don't want to come across as all feeling/emotions based, but this was so real. There was absolutely no question in my mind that God was telling us that He was done using us at camp. That morning in the van has revolutionized my prayer life, my walk with God. It was hard. It was amazing.

I pulled on to the camp road with a strange mix of emotions. I remember a peace coming over me, but being terrified of what laid ahead, too. I remember thinking about how I had to tell Jim, but I wasn't quite ready. Because I knew deep in my heart that Jim knew we had to leave camp as well, and once I told him that would be it. We would have to proceed. I worried about the people involved - the people we ministered with at camp and truly loved like family. I did not want to hurt them, but knew that could not stop us from following God. It is no secret that I struggle with fear of man, so I worried about that too - what would people think? What would our parents think, our friends? But I composed myself and I dried my eyes, took a deep breath and parked. I kind of already shared here what happened when I finally worked up the courage to share with Jim my conversation with God. And the rest is history. You dear friends have been walking this journey with us. Thank you.

Now we have come full circle. Tomorrow will be the day. I suppose it will be a new chapter regardless of how the vote goes. I am excited to see what the Author has in store for us. Although, if I am being honest I am ready for the plot twists to settle down - just a bit. {grin}


(Please note: I had to enable the word verification on my comments. I am truly sorry for the inconvenience. I have just been receiving a lot of inappropriate spam the last few weeks.)

.Starting to Connect Some Dots.

It is taking me much longer to share our story than I anticipated it would. Part of the reason is because we are still so caught up inside of the story. Every time I sit down and reflect on the past chapters of our life I am overcome and overwhelmed with the intricate way God has weaved the details together. I am also ashamed for the many times that I did not notice or perceive it to be that way. I want this chapter to be different. This chapter that I am living right now is so exciting and scary, but I want to truly see God in the details, for He is right here in the middle weaving and weaving the tapestry of our life. It has been painful and uncomfortable, but stepping back and looking inside it is breath- takingly beautiful. I am so humbled that He has chosen Jim and I for this journey. We are so undeserving.

I know that I have gathered new readers since even the last installment of our faith story, and I do not want to leave you behind. God is urging me to write this for a reason. For my own good specifically, but I also strongly desire for other women to connect with our story - to see, maybe for the first time God weaving her own story. I am not a public speaker. I am not good with the spoken word. My tongue gets twisted and tied. My thoughts a jumble. Yes, if asked, I would stand up and give this testimony of God's goodness; how could I not? But this here, my written words from my heart, is my true platform. This is where God has gifted me, and is where I would much rather share. My prayer is that through these posts about our story, your heart would be touched, pricked, and you would see the God of all creation in a light that maybe you have never seen Him before. To God be the glory; great things He has done! To catch up on our story click on the following links:

Once Upon a Time
Our Total Money Makeover
I Don't Know How the Story Ends
At This Point in Time
Letting it All Hang Out
Our Faith Story:Part Six
God Alone
Bitter Sweet
One Month Under Our Belts

I felt as if I had been sucker-punched when Jim walked into my classroom, where I taught second graders, that day and told me that he had been laid-off. I was furious. I felt betrayed by the people Jim worked for, and I felt betrayed by God. I also became introspective, and began to wonder if it had not been God's plan for us to move back near our family homes and pursue the ministry of camp, but if it had been my plan - my manipulating Jim to get us where I wanted to be. If I was being completely honest with myself, which I seldom was back then, it wasn't really camp ministry I desired - rather it was a desire to be close to my family and camp ministry was merely the vehicle to get us where I wanted us. After all I had been the one to put the bird in Jim's ear about pursuing an internship at the camp in the first place. We were visiting my parents one weekend, and the desire was as strong as it ever was to move back. My head starting thinking and my tongue started manipulating.

Jim don't you want to get out of this dead-end job that you're in and start ministry? After all that is what you went to Bible college for. I wonder if camp has already chosen their next intern. You have always loved camp. I bet that would be a perfect fit. Why don't you call and see if you can get an interview?

Jim called that day and got the position very soon after. We prayed about it a bit, but looking back it was truly less of God's leading and more of mine. I am not saying God was not in control - He was, and this was part of His intended story for us. It's a fine line, and it is hard to explain accurately.

I had never really been very independent. I moved just three hours away to college, and I enjoyed that. But I always really liked being at home with my family. That has not changed today. I would still rather be at home with my family than be any place else in the world, and while that is not always a bad thing God has had to gently stretch me in this area. Now I am getting ahead of myself, though.

I remember that day so well. Jim closed the door to my classroom and held me while I sobbed. I liked to be in control. I had felt safe knowing that Jim would still have his job at the running store until it was time for us to move. All of my plans had been so perfectly laid out. This was not in my plans. I had expected Jim would stay at the running store until the day we moved. I remember moping around for a few days. I watched Jim search out the job listings in the paper. I was miserable. Who would hire Jim for a few short months?

In a matter of days God stepped into the equation and provided in such a way that I am still in awe when I think back. I cannot remember the details. I need to go back to my journal entries from that time and look it up, but the details are not pertinent to the story. Somehow Jim found out about a local publishing company that was looking to hire a person to beef up their website design. Remember how my husband had begun learning a bit about that at his running job?

God was weaving.

Jim was immediately hired, and his boss knew it would be temporary - that was all he wanted and needed! I believe Jim was hired under the impression that he knew a lot about web design and Photoshop. {grin} Fortunately my husband is a very quick learner, especially when it comes to things of this nature. He was also still very friendly with the man back at the running center who had been teaching him little things about web design. With that man's gracious help in answering any of Jim's questions and Jim's quick wit, he went from knowing very little about web-design to being able to completely build a website mostly from scratch. He also got very articulate with Photoshop.

Jim so enjoyed those few months of that job. In ways he had been beaten down at his other job, he was lifted up here. God was so gracious during this time. I even believe Jim brought home a bigger paycheck from this job! Oh how God was reaching out and loving us in ways I barely noticed until now. Jim was able to completely makeover the publishing company's website, and he learned how to do some graphic designing of some of their paper advertisements as well. He loved the creativity of the job and excelled at it.

I continued teaching and we started packing up our little apartment, anticipating the next phase of our life. Jim continued to preach at the little home church. They begged us to stay on and for Jim to become their pastor. It wasn't time yet, though. We were not ready. We still had so very much to learn.

At the end of May, with no permanent housing, we moved all of our possessions and settled into life at camp, living in a tiny cabin. We really had no idea what to expect. We were scared and excited, in very much the same place I find myself today. But God was at work....

weaving

weaving

weaving.

Jim's very first big assignment at camp was to design and print a brochure advertising the summer weeks ahead.

Would you know anything about that? The camp director asked Jim. We'd like to save a little money this year and try to design the brochure in-house. I wasn't sure if this was something you would be able to do or not.

Oh. So this was part of the reason God allowed Jim to lose his job.


We were starting to connect some dots.

.Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Skies are blue.





And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.





There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.



All of these photos were taken in Florida on our family vacation back in September. I am far removed from these brilliant, sun-filled photos today, as I sit miles away in my little home with a stuffy nose and sore throat. However, I am reminded that it was on this vacation that God's still small voice started whispering in my heart about the possibility of moving on from camp. My heart began to stir with thoughts of how God may be done using us in the camp ministry. I revolted in fear. Pushed it aside time after time after time. It would take nearly a month before I could even voice the thoughts to Jim. I hope to publish the next installment of our faith story tomorrow. To catch up click here.