What is Love?

It's been so long since I have written that there are too many thoughts trying to squeeze their way out my fingertips. I fear these fingers cannot dance across the keyboard fast enough to keep time with heart words spilling over. This may not be eloquent as the words just gush out. At first I thought this post would be about grace. God is teaching me so much about what His grace really is, and it seems like the message has been bombarding me for months from all angles. I have had opportunities to see it played out and to put it into practice. I haven't been able to ignore it. I understand now how much I misunderstood His radical grace, but I am not sure if I am confident enough to share all of what I have learned yet. It's still so new, and to be very honest, it is still strange and hard to grasp. The denomination that I grew up in taught grace in words, but the actions of grace - the fleshing out - often fell short, which even now, as an adult, is confusing, but as a child, even more so. I think this is where my misunderstanding began, and I think this is why I am hesitant to share. So then my thoughts turned to love, perhaps because this week marked my thirteenth wedding anniversary, and love has been on my mind. Perhaps because it has been swirling around social media. Perhaps because my teenage son is growing older and daily closer to love and marriage, and I am desperate for him to grasp true love and experience it first here inside of our home, so that he is capable and ready to give it away when the time comes. Perhaps because a friend and I had a mild freak out yesterday realizing that we were raising somebody's husband. {deep breath} That's heavy. As I have walked through these past few days knowing that I would eventually find myself drawn here, locked inside of my room, in front of a laptop, that I had to carve out the time to come here and fill up this space with words, I realized that grace and love are so mingled. The truest version of them is married together. Real grace cannot exist without real love, and true love cannot exist without true grace. When we encounter authentic grace married to authentic love it is one of the most beautiful reflections of the heart of the Father and the gospel of Jesus that we get the privilege to discover here on earth.

There has been a lot of talk about love lately. There are some heated debates swirling around social media. In truth it is rather ugly to witness. It's polarizing. I have remained quiet, because there are humans involved, and i have yet to figure out how to add my voice in a way that does not heap on hurt to one side or the other. So many people on all sides are hurting, and it is so sad. Let's be honest, in the spewing of arguments on social media, especially when they are not cloaked in genuine relationships with one another, nobody wins. In arguing about love; it just looks like hate. In the midst of all of this tension, though, I have personally been reflecting on love - what does real love look like? For several months now, actually since the beginning of this year, I have been meditating on I Corinthians 13; the passage known as "the love passage" in Christian circles. This passage is slapped onto wedding programs and sweetly read over naive wedding couples in numerous churches. It was true for my own wedding. The verses are made out to be cute and pithy and easy as two young people gaze adoringly into each others eyes, dreaming of the life they are starting together. Hollywood has glamorized love in such a way that is is unrecognizable to the real thing, and so many of us have bought into it, and our children are growing up mesmerized by the allure of it. They think that the fake kind of love, the selfishness, the lust, the mushy gushy feel-goodness that masquerades and parades itself as love, that is displayed all over movies and TV and sung about on the radio is attainable and desirable and right. And they think if they don't find that then they are missing out on what everyone else has. As I am writing this post the lyrics of that cheesy eighties song is bouncing around my head, What is love? Baby don't hurt me; don't hurt me, no more. But the truth is that silly song, like so many of us, has missed the mark on real love. Real love does hurt. Love deliberately gets up, goes again toward that person it is aimed at, and it understands that in the process it is choosing to serve someone and put someone's needs ahead of its own in a way that is so vulnerable and so exposed that when you truly love someone, hurt is unavoidable and it will happen again and again and again. 

Love actually does hurt.

Real love entwined with grace is wild and different. It's mature and wise. It's strange and unnatural. It fights against our flesh and our human bent. Just look carefully at I Corinthians 13. It doesn't look very much like the love in the movies. There is so much more to the depth of it. It is the heart beat of our life. It is all that matters. Without love, nothing we do or say even makes a difference - it's all empty. We are given two commands from Jesus to live out our days. The first is to love God with everything inside of us and all that we are, and the second is to love others as much as ourselves. (Matthew 22:37) He promised that if we could love Him and others that everything else would fall under that. Can you imagine what the tapestry of our world could look like if Jesus followers actually practiced these? Almost everyday I hear myself quoting these two commands to my children in hopes that they will comprehend and live out what so many of us have forgotten. But what does this love look like? If it is not the Hollywood love, what is it? The Message version says that we are bankrupt without love, and then in verses 4-7 clearly spells out what love is, what love does. And it is pretty radical.

Love never gives up.

Love cares for others more than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut; doesn't have a swelled head.

[Love] doesn't force itself on others.

[Love] isn't always "me first'.

[Love] doesn't fly off the handle

[Love] doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

[Love] doesn't revel when others grovel.

[Love] takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.

[Love] puts up with anything.

[Love] trusts God always.

[Love] always looks for the best.

[Love] never looks back, but keeps going until the end.

Love never dies.

I Corinthians 13:47 The Message (emphasis mine)

Love shows up and shows out. It is not dependent on the love of the other person. It is active and pursues, and fights again and again and again. Yes, there are all kinds of love, romantic love, friendship love, family love, etc., but all real, genuine love have these same above characteristics at its core. To never give up, to care more about another than oneself, to forget wrongs, to cling to truth, it's all hard, and it all hurts at times. But it is always worth it, and love like this - the real deal kind of love is enduring and the greatest gift we can give to another human. But if love hurts so much, and is so self-sacrificing, and demands so much of us, why would we want it? The truth is love chooses to hurt, because love chooses to love. It sounds cliche' to say love is a choice, but honestly it is. Love is a daily choice. Our perfect example of flawless, true love was Jesus, and He chose you. He chose me. He looked at us in all of our weakness and brokeness and mistakes - past, present and future, and with a love that cannot be comprehended, He tenderly cupped our chin with his scarred, nail-pierced hand, and said, "I want you". We did nothing to deserve His choosing, His love. We could do nothing. We were incapable. His love chased us down, pursued us, and His love sunk into our mirk and sat in the mud with us, embraced us right where we were and accepted us wholly, completely - as is. It's a wild, untamed, alluring kind of love that is not afraid of our filth, and in the filth is where its partner grace enters in, grace goes right into the mess, holding hands with love, and rescues us and carries us out, while we are helpless and unable to rescue ourselves. When Jesus, perfect Love incarnate, allowed Himself to be carried to that cross and murdered, He saw you and He saw me. He saw everything we would ever be and do, and He saw that we were incapable of anything on our own, and He lovingly came anyway to get us. He LOVED us. And now we are compelled to love, because He first loved us with an unfailing, never-giving up love. A love that is yours and mine despite us, a love that we could never sustain, and we don't have to! We cannot make God love us, He already does. I cannot earn His love, and I cannot do anything to deserve it, and wrapped up in that truth rushes in love's mate grace. Authentic grace is cloaked in love and it races in hot pursuit after us and meets us right, exactly where we are, looks us square in the eyes, sees our innermost ugly, and loves us into a beautiful invitation of abundant life. Because love compells it to, grace so gently and tenderly drags us out of the murk and into life.

I am speculating that the way we love others will look a lot more like I Corinthians 13, rather than the phony Hollywood love when we finally recognize the complete way that we are loved and accepted. The way we love must change when we truly understand the outrageousness of the love that was poured over us, while we were so unworthy, love that manifested itself in drops of Jesus' blood, and when we finally get that this perfect love has absolutely nothing to do with us, and the grace that is married to His love crashes over us and transforms and breaks in and heals and changes us. This marriage of love and grace that is ours is explosive, and it it permeates everything about us. Perhaps when we truly grasp how deeply we are loved, we will stop feeling so threatened by the world around us, and instead will see people as people just like us- some still sitting in that murk, not needing our rhetoric and lectures and debates, but needing us to pursue and flesh out the kind of love Jesus has for them. I Corinthians says without love we are nothing. So, perhaps, maybe when put our attention on loving God and loving humans, and just focus on that, maybe then Love really will win.

This knowledge of how much we are loved, changes how we love. Because HE first loved us.

.You May Say That I'm a Dreamer.

But I'm not the only one.

I will always be a dreamer with fire in my eyes and a passion in my heart - a heart that bleeds for people. Sometimes it feels far more like a curse than the gift that it was created to be. And today my heart bleeds and aches because it seems like so many people are hurting. I am so ashamed to admit that many people are hurting at the hands of Jesus followers. This confuses me. I thought we were the ones to bring Good News? I thought we were to bring peace, grace, mercy, and LOVE?

Many, many years ago when Jesus walked this earth, incarnated into our lives, and demonstrated exactly how we should live, He had a fascinating conversation with a Pharisee. (A religious, pompous, hypocritical legalistic leader of His day - hard to imagine anyone like this, huh? ahem.) The Pharisee was trying to trip Jesus up with a question. The answer Jesus gave sums up all of life for a Jesus follower - every single thing hangs on this answer. Everything. Everything we believe, how we act, what we say, how we live. Every. single. thing. The question was brief and housed in trickery and mockery, Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Matthew 22:36  

Jesus' answer was simple.

 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. Matthew 22:37-40

Love God. 

Love people.

Everything springs out of this. That's it. If we continually go back to these two things, and let love for God and for all people dictate the way we live out this one life, then we are serving God exactly the way Jesus expects us to serve Him, and we are living our lives in obedience to Jesus.

The Pharisees were extremely proud in their religiosity and morality. They held strictly to the religious laws and rules. They made rules for their rules in order to avoid any possibility of breaking them. But inside the rules, the legalism, the piety, the pointing fingers, they lost sight of the plank in their own eyes - they lost sight of their call to love, and even sadder is the fact that they lost sight of Who they love.

Our heart is central - we are to focus on loving God with a love that stems from our heart - everything we have and are - with our entire being. We should be so wrapped up in love and adoration for our God, that it is outrageously noticeable to everyone around us. When we do that, we are freed to love people with that same crazy kind of love that makes people question how and why and where this love is from. It can't help but point to our Jesus. Every time one of my four children disobeys, or needs some redirection, we talk through the two greatest commandments, because seriously everything, everything goes back to these. Try it. Try living out these two commands, and notice how it impacts all of life.

I am dreaming of a world where Jesus followers are known by a great big love that points to our great, big God. I am dreaming of a world where Jesus followers follow Jesus in His example of loving people - all people - the misfits, outcasts, outlaws, sinners, the sick, the lonely, the imperfect, the invisible. I am dreaming of a world where we are known by our love. (John 13:35)

It sounds a lot like the Kingdom that Jesus was constantly talking about. A Kingdom filled with love. Can you imagine? I'm going to keep dreaming.

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

.We Need You: Love Mercy Project.

There is something powerful about collaboration, community, a village - it's people joined together for one purpose. When God laid it on our hearts to move our family to serve in Ethiopia, we knew that we could not do it alone. Through the processes of bringing our boys home, we learned very quickly that God uses the vulnerability and transparency of our needs in order to build up the body of Christ. We were hesitant to always share our needs,  but every single time that we did, God blessed us in huge ways. We constantly got feedback from people that they felt like they were really part of something eternal when they were given the opportunity and invitation to give. That stuck with me. I still do not quite understand it, and I still squirm about openly sharing our needs. It can be humiliating to lay it all out there, but God continually nudges us to do just that. He asks us to simply share, and then watch Him bring in fellow Kingdom builders to partner with us.

For the past three days we have been fasting and praying about our needs as Mercy Branch Inc. - specifically the financial hurdles we have to jump in order to make the big move in June happen. I went in to this reluctantly, heavy-hearted over the thought of baring our needs again. I wished to be on the giving end instead of the receiving end. But I began to realize how selfish and prideful I was being - wanting to do this on my own - when God has much bigger plans. I don't desire for Mercy Branch to be about my family and what we can do, but that is exactly what would happen if we were not transparent in inviting people in to partner with us. I wrestled with the fact that our need is great, and that we are just small, ordinary, plain people. We aren't flashy. We aren't polished. There are way better writers out there who could move people with eloquent words, better speakers who could garner instant donations, fancier websites which could attract thousands of people, professional promoters, bigger ministries with lots of leaders, more beautiful families, louder voices, etc. Our inadequacies and our normalness is pervasive, but it doesn't diminish the call, or let us off the hook. And I realize we are in good company when I notice the weak people that God used in the Bible. Perhaps it is because of our smallness that God chose us. God's bigness will be greatly magnified in our weakness. When He accomplishes this, nobody will think that we did it on our own - because they all know that we are just not capable of that. And I guess that is exactly where God wants us - groveling at His feet, realizing we cannot do this alone, reaching out to our brothers and sisters and asking for the help that we need. It is there in community that we find Jesus.

While I have often wished for an anonymous large donation to land in our mailbox so that we can neatly be on our way, I realize that this is not how God typically works in our life. God is so good at wisely nudging ordinary, simple people with a few dollars a month to share in our journey. He does this little by little, small step by small step - nothing typically grandiose with us - keeping us on our knees at His feet through the process. It seems as if that is how He desires to accomplish meeting our needs this time as well. I trust Him. I don't always like the posture He requests of me, but I trust Him in this.

So I am asking you for something big. I am asking you to partner with our family - some of you for the second or third time - as you have already partnered in the journey with our boys. It's a big ask, and it humbles me to know that people will sacrifice for my family. But I am asking, and I am praying that you see my heart in this ask. Will you hop on over to our website and learn about what our plans are in Ethiopia? Pray about whether or not this is something that you can get behind. We need your prayers and your relationship and yes, we need your dollars - even just a few dollars a month when put together with others few dollars a month, will help meet our needs {donations are tax-deductable}. This month we are launching our Love Mercy Project, and we have set some God-sized goals for February. Our board has been praying through this project and goals and so have we. We are anticipating God doing something amazing this month! When the goals are met, we will be over 50% of the way funded to move to Ethiopia! People can partner with us for any monthly dollar amount they desire, but for this month when someone chooses to become a new monthly sponsor at $30/month (or more) we will thank them with a free Mercy Branch tee-shirt! (and when you wear your tee shirt, you are sharing in our story) We also were blessed with a generous matching gift donor, so for this month when someone donates any dollar amount into our one-time need, the donation will automatically get matched - up to $5k!

We really need you. We need the people that God is writing into this story - His story. We need your voice, your prayers, your encouragement, your money, your love - we need you. Because the truth is that this will only work in community - that has always been God's desire when building the Kingdom. Some He has chosen to go and some to send, but neither is more important than the other. Both are needed, both are beautifully linked side-by-side, as we all press toward the same goal with our eyes always fixed on our King. He never asked us to do it on our own - it's impossible. We cannot go without you. There is something beautiful that happens when God's people join together to bring the mercy of Jesus to a broken world - it changes US.

Come join our Love Mercy project today, and be part of something bigger than all of us put together. The pages of this story are just waiting to be inked with your life. There is space for you.

Where is the Love? .A Christmas Post.

I suppose that I should state right at the very beginning, that I am as much a part of this problem as the next person. This is not supposed to come across as yet another judgy post about judgmentalism. Goodness there are enough of those without me adding my voice. I am examining my own heart, and I process best when there are letters underneath my fingertips. So if you landed here, understand that you landed on what is my own self-examination poured out on the screen. {lucky you}

If you spend anytime on social media, which I am guessing you do a little, since you are here, then it is not hard to be bombarded with all of the Christmas links and posts swirling around. You know the ones:

why my family doesn't do Santa,

why my family does do Santa,

why we don't buy gifts for our kids,

why we do buy gifts for our kids,

why Christmas has been reduced to a materialist, consumerist big marketing day,

how to reclaim Christmas and make it simple,

why we do Elf on the Shelf,

why Elf on the Shelf is evil,

why only purchase gifts that make a difference,

why make Christmas magical and go all-out with gift giving

etc. You get my point. The tension is high and our swords are drawn. This happens so much with Jesus-followers. I recently wrote another post noticing lines drawn in the sand with the adoption community. It happens all of the time - mud-slinging, dividing lines, judgments, and self-righteousness - and so much of it in the name of Jesus.

And when this happens the enemy is getting this victory. No, of course he does not win in the end, but these little battles, the battles that occur and break down the Kingdom rather than build it up, he's winning them, and we are his pawns. We willingly pick fights against our brothers and sisters, and work so hard on defending our opinions that our energy is used up in all of the wrong places.

And the world is taking note.

John 13:35 says, Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples. It doesn't say that we will be known for the way we defend ourselves, not even for our doctrine, not for the political side we lean into, or the churches we attend, our piety, or the lines we draw in the sand. The one characteristic that is supposed to be able to identify us as Jesus followers to the world is our love - our extravagant, unmistakable, over-the-top lavished on love, and even more specifically in that verse - our love for one another.  But golly, where is the love? Our bashing of the way our brothers and sisters choose to celebrate the birth of Jesus certainly is not showing the world this love that should identify us. We have the absolute biggest and best reason to celebrate Christmas! We know the amazing miracle that happened when Jesus, the Son of God, came down into our mess, humbled himself and changed everything because of the divine rescue plan that was set into motion the night His helpless baby of a body was laid into that rustic manger. We know the secret that was born in that stable. We also know that it was the greatest act and the greatest gift of love for God to sacrifice His Son. And we should be proclaiming that love from the rooftops, and mimicking it with our lives. The two greatest commands are pretty clear - love God with our everything, and love people as much as ourselves(Luke 10:27).

LOVE.

LOVE.

LOVE.

Somewhere along the way, we have lost our love - the very thing that should identify us with Jesus - the Jesus Who our Christmas celebrations revolve around.

I want Christmas to be meaningful for my family, and I think it is necessary to think through traditions and how our family will celebrate the birth of our King. I really think that is a beautiful and wise thing. But it's okay if my family does it differently than your family does it. It's okay to give each other the grace to be this Christmas. I just want off the crazy-train of mud-slinging. I've had enough.

I hope my home is only filled with Jesus and His love this Christmas, and that is what I hope for you as well - regardless of how your family chooses to celebrate it. We have this amazing chance to show the world something different this Christmas. I am laying down my sword, asking for forgiveness, and I am picking up love.

.

.Cadi's Story.

She is so much like me when it comes to writing. I find her stories scattered around the house, so much like the stories I used to write as a little girl. She is filling up her first journal, and I admit I have taken a peek, and she is a deep thinker with an old soul. I love this about my Cadi. However, this particular story disturbed me so much, that I had to write about it in order to process it. Here is what she wrote:

Alice Gives

by Cadi

Alice! Mommy called. Time to go to church.

No. said Alice.

Now. said Mommy.

But Mommy, Janie makes fun of me.

Janie? said Mommy questioningly. I thought Janie was your best friend.

She is, but our family is black and her family is white. She doesn't like black people. So she makes fun of me.

Well, I will talk to Janie's parents when we go to church, okay Hon?

Okay. said Alice.

Wait. I have to get something. said Alice.

Janie always liked this doll of mine. Her name is Anna. I will give it to her at church.

Good for you. said Mommy. Good for you!

Such a short, simple story, but it broke my heart. Because, although the characters have been changed, I know my Cadi has experienced rejection from a girl "friend" because she has two black brothers. What bothers me so much is that, although we are all born as sinners, from all that I have experienced, understand, and researched, children are taught racism and prejudice, primarily by their parents. So this little girl, in 2013, is growing up in a Christian home, and whether through spoken teachings or simply actions, is being taught at the very least, that black people are inferior to white people.

And I am just wondering how we can reach the world with the gospel of Jesus when our children are being taught such lies?

We are all made in God's image. I have stated that so many times here, and it is something so close to my heart. When we look at people and see the image of Almighty God it should propel us to love. One thing, I think, we followers of Jesus, fail to recognize, is that we are all made in the image of God - made. That means we are born in the image of God - every single person shares some traits of our Heavenly Father. Every person.

yes, that homeless bum on the street,

yes, that prostitute selling her body on the corner,

yes, that disabled child confined to a wheelchair,

yes, our black president,

yes, the cashier at the grocery store,

yes, your child's teacher,

yes, the mailman,

yes, that man on death row.

They all bare the image of God! 

When we stop and look at people through that lens it should change everything. Our family has been told so many times that racism and prejudices no longer exist in our country. I can say through shaking lips and tear-filled eyes, that they absolutely do exist, and they exist right in our own churches. Perhaps it is not as overt as it once was, but that does not make it any less damaging, any less sinful, any less hurtful.

My eyes are being opened to things I would have rather stayed blind to. It is horrible to see this kind of hate from the world, let alone fellow followers of  Jesus, toward my beloved children/family. It hurts to see how the Church has perpetuated this lie, and how destructive it is.

A few months back we were talking with Habi in the van on the way home from somewhere. He was absolutely astonished to learn that Jesus is not white. We explained how he probably looked more middle Eastern - dark complexioned, dark hair - probably even similar coloring to our Jamesy. Habi was dumbstruck, as he had been fed the American lies, by American mission teams, that went to Africa and showcased a white Jesus. I nearly sobbed, as I realized all that little statement meant to him, and I literally watched his heart melt and his defenses crumble as this truth sunk in. And that very night, Habi surrendered and asked Jesus to be the leader of his life. But it was not until we erased that lie.

Something needs to break and change inside of us until it is not us versus them anymore, until it is just us collective - a broken, fallen people, yes, made in the image of God, who all need rescuing. Not one of us is better or more deserving than the other. I want to see a difference in my daughter's generation, but when things like her story creep up, I feel discouraged and so sad.

Thankful to serve a God who loves justice and will one day right all of this horrible, horrible wrong.

.Snapshots of Life.

.What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love.

[source]

1 Corinthians 13:4-7



Love is patient,

love is kind.



It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.


It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.


Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.


It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love isn't passive.

Love is active.

What the world needs now is this love - the love of Jesus tangibly demonstrated through His followers.

As my Ethiopian teenage boy wrote to me today Happy Love Day!

.Going to the Chapel.

And they're gonna get married!



I can hardly believe that my baby brother proposed over the Christmas season, to a beautiful, godly girl, and is getting married this summer! Benny is eight years my junior, and I feel as if I missed out on a big chunk of his childhood, being that I left for college when he was just ten years old. Despite that, I love him fiercely, and I could not be more proud of him.





He is currently in graduate school at Wheaton working towards his PsyD - an alternative PhD in psychology. His heart is enormous and his love for God is solid. He is compassionate, intelligent, creative (his proposal was so creative and romantic - I was super impressed!) honest, humble, and fun! It has been such a joy seeing the man that God is making him into.





And Breanne, although I have only spent a handful of moments with her, is absolutely the perfect match for my brother. She is kind, godly, compassionate, sweet, and beautiful to boot! They complement each other in such a lovely way.



My only knock on her is that she can hardly blow a bubble to save her life - which provided lots of laughter and great memories.





It was my great joy to be asked to photograph them while they were visiting for Christmas.





To stand behind the lense and focus on telling their story was priceless.



They gave me a moment of pure joy.



A gift.

(This is a Momentous Monday post. To learn more go here, and please feel free to link up with us right below!)

.How to Build a Marriage that Lasts.

Love deep and long and unconditionally.

Say I'm sorry.

Kiss & hug & touch - often.

Laugh.

Talk - bare it all. Leave no sentence uncovered. Expose.

Learn about the other.

Shower each other with compassion & grace & mercy.

Empathize.

Keep no record of wrong.

Cheer loud & emphatically. Let the whole world know you married the best.

Slow life down and savor the moments.

Create memories.

Play.

Pray.

Get to know the Jesus of the Bible together - the real Jesus - even if He is different than you were taught.

Take your other to God daily - moment by moment.

Be thankful & grateful & content. And say that you are.

Wrap your heart jointly around what God's heart is drawn to.

Love others.

Fill your home with children & laughter & wonderful, messy life.

Throw away perfection and reach for the beauty in the imperfect.

Swing.

Sing.

Pen notes of undying love.

Stay up late and pillow talk.

Remember when.

Look at the other through the eyes of Jesus.

Less self.

Lighten up. Have fun. Don't take yourself seriously.

Keep love sacred.

Get your hands dirty together for the sake of the gospel.

Admit your mistakes & grow beyond them.

Forgive, forgive, forgive. Wipe the slate clean no matter how many times it takes.

Always kiss goodnight. Always say I love you.

Don't be afraid to grow up & to grow old - together.

Experience intimacy with God & then with each other.

Face the same direction - holding hands.

Dance.

Let God be the glue that forms two into one.

Today marks just nine years for us. We are just beginning to understand what makes a marriage last. Not everyday has been bliss, but everyday has been blessed.

.Celebrating our Love.

Momentous Monday is postponed for this week because for the first time ever (being that in the past at this point in the summer we are usually ministering at a summer camp) we are going away for our anniversary - for three days- alone!! I am so excited! When our church held a welcome service for us in March, they gave us a voucher for a hotel stay as well as a love check. We have been saving them for something special.

And I do believe that our eighth anniversary is something special. {grin}


(sorry for the quality - this was pre-digital days)

I remember the girl in that photo, and oh, how she was a girl. Just two months graduated from college, 22 years old, and so excited to finally begin life with her sweet heart of five years. Look at that baby face!

It has been a joy and a blessing to be married to Jim. On Tuesday, July 6, it will be 2,920 days since that moment when I walked down the aisle with butterflies in my stomach, anticipation in my heart, and tears on my cheeks, towards the love of my life. My only. Today all that is left of that moment is memories, a tightly sealed box in my parent's home with my preserved wedding dress, a book of photographs, and a few tucked momentos in the corner of my heart. I am surprised at how quickly the years have fallen away, but I look in the mirror and no longer see that baby faced girl. In her place is a much more confident, passionate, comfortable in her own skin woman. And yet each and every time I look into my groom's eyes, I am that eager, excited girl of a bride once more. I pray that never changes.



My darling, Jim - my Jimmy-Bear, I count it this life's greatest privilege, honor, and blessing to be loved and protected by you. You have exceeded my expectations for a husband, and encourage me every day to pursue my Jesus. It has been my incredible joy to mommy your children, to walk by your side for eight years as your wife, and thirteen years as your Love. Thank you for cherishing me and protecting my God-given role in our home. You make it so easy to follow your lead.

This past year I have been especially blessed by your godly leadership in our home, and your courage. Your courage to walk away from the only ministry we have ever known in order to follow God's leading. Your courage to accept the call to the ministry of adoption. Your courage to search out the Scriptures in order to truly understand how to radically follow after our Savior, no matter what.

I am so looking forward to going back to the beginning for a few days - back to you and me and our love. The best is yet to be....

All my love,
All my life,
All for you.

Your Baby Doll.


Our wedding song. Cheesy video, but still love the song. {grin}
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