.God's Best Gift.

Psalm 127:3 Don't you see that children are God's best gift?



And I have three of these best gifts. Some days I am still in shock, and most days we all still marvel over every single little detail about Jamesy - just like Scotty in this photo. It's still hard to believe he is here sometimes.

So thankful.



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.When it takes a Rocking Chair to Die to Self.

Five weeks equals countless hours in the rocker.



Heart against heart beating as we rock. Memorizing dark curls, chocolate skin, eyelashes - thick and lush, pink perfect lips. Remembering how long I had waited for these moments and how I had wondered when and if they would ever come. And now that they are here I am finding that I must fight for them and fight off

impatience

selfishness

hurriedness

exhaustion.

Because the truth is that while I rock the world does not stop. There is always something else that I need to do, I want to do, or I feel like I should be doing. It only takes a moment for the selfishness to creep in.

It is then that I have to breathe in slowly the grace of the moment given, and remember that this is what I dreamed of, prayed for, and begged of God. And remember the mommies that would give their very breath to have the moment I am wishing to hurry. I remember the orphans and their empty, wounded eyes that begged for a mommy to rock them to sleep.

And with every rock back and forth, back and forth with his body curled into mine I must die to self again - rock, again - rock, again.

And to die in those moments is to truly live and to see the truth once more - this life is just a vapor - and for the moment there is nothing more important than rocking my baby who waited fifteen months for this very thing I can give him - my arms, my time, my love.

And honestly there is nowhere else I'd rather be.

.This Moment.

God has placed a burning passion in my heart for orphans, but I have not forgotten my other burning passion....



to be a godly mommy to the ones that are here now in my home.

I adore staying at home day in and day out while molding these little lives.



Oh sure, I am exhausted most everyday. It is a full-time, hands-on, heart-engaged job - actually ministry.

Yes, there are moments when it is hard. Really hard.



But even the hard moments are worth it.

And I am not in this alone. My steps are daily guided by my heavenly father, and Jim is beside me in this parenting journey. We are a team.



My heart skips a beat to realize in a little over a year (probably) another baby will be in these photos.



Although she is anything but a baby now. She is growing up so fast. Last night her daddy talked to her about her future Prince Charming and my throat was thick with a lump. She is so beautiful - inside and out.



We have all slept together the past two nights. Normally I am not for this, but my children have been hot. We have a window AC in our room. Plus to be honest, I just really missed my children while we were away. It has been kind of fun waking up to Scotty's voice right next to the bed in the morning.



I know I have talked a lot about the future lately, but I am so thankful for this moment, too. I guess my heart is just hurting so much for all of the children that will never experience this.

If you are looking for a really easy way to support us in our adoption, would you consider signing up for swagbucks if you have not already jumped on the bandwagon? I am using all of my bucks to get paypal cash, and that goes straight into our adoption fund. Just click here and pass this along, too!

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.Enjoying Summer.

We've been staying busy-tieing loose ends together so that we can send in our paperwork and check to initiate our home study. I think it really is going to happen this week!!

We enjoyed our family day yesterday. We switched the children's rooms around. We gave Cadi my old bed from when I was a child (now we can use her room as a guest room if we ever need to), and Scotty now has Cadi's twin. {gasp} He is really not a baby anymore.

It works well for our family to switch our children from a crib to a bed earlier rather than later. I know this does not work for every family, and please do not think I am advocating that everyone should do things my way. I really do not ever mean to come across that way. We do the bed thing early, but the potty training thing we do much later than others. We are all just trying to do what is best for our children and family, right? {grin}

We moved Cadi into a twin bed shortly before she turned two. So with Scotty heading rapidly towards his second birthday {gasp}. It was time. I will admit Mommy was not ready, and shed a lot of tears. However, Scotty has now taken two naps and slept at night in his new bed and acts as if it is nothing new. He was sitting up in bed waiting for Mommy this morning. Our only concern is our stairway out in the hall with Scotty, so like Cadi, we put a gate across his doorway when he is in bed. I still use the baby monitor on him, so I can hear him if he gets up. But honestly my children are excellent sleepers, and I can probably count on one hand the times they have woken in the night since they were infants. It just doesn't happen here. I know, I know, I am in for it with my third! {grin} I have already been told that numerous times.

So this is Scotty's big boy room. All of the decor - down to the sheets were given to us by a friend. We feel so blessed, and I adore how his room looks.







Scotty is so proud of his new bed. We taught him how to say "army", and he walks around yelling "army, army". So cute.

And this is Cadi's room with her "new" bed. We rearranged her room a bit, and I think it looks bigger than before. It is a struggle to know the best set up for their tiny rooms. We have future (really, really future) renovation plans for the upstairs that will give the boys a big room to share with a closet, and will expand Cadi's room to include a closet.




(Scotty was helping me out here and wearing Daddy's hat!)

Cadi's bed set and canopy were given to her by the same friend that gave us Scotty's decor.

Yesterday we also went to a farmer's market and once again stocked up on produce. I cannot get over how much cheaper it is to buy this way rather than the grocery store. I adore it when my kitchen is stocked with fresh fruits and veggies. That is what I always crave, and my children are the same way. We are working on altering Jim's cravings in the evenings from ice cream to fruit. Ha! Poor guy.

For lunch today I threw together the yummiest avocado salad. It's not really a recipe, but here is what I did.



I cut up a cucumber, sliced red onions, minced a fresh garlic clove, and diced avocados. I mixed the cucumber, onions and garlic together sprinkled on a little sea salt and some pepper. I then added the avocados carefully and stirred in some dill weed and a vinaigrette. If I wasn't crunched for time I would have added tomatoes and peppers, too. I also think feta sprinkled on top would be amazing. And if my herb garden was ready I would have picked fresh dill to use instead of dill weed. Oh wait a minute - that would mean I had to have planted an herb garden! Whoops!

Then my husband got the great idea to take this avocado salad and use it as a filling on a whole wheat wrap. mmmm. Yes it was as yummy as it looks! I think I may add some chickpeas to the wrap next time - smashed a bit.



Jim has a softball game tonight that we hope to attend if the rain holds off. I am contemplaing making some pesto tonight with the fresh basil I purchased yesterday. Besides that we are enjoying summer and each other! How about you?



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.My Children are the Greatest.

I know every Momma thinks that, and that's the way it should be. But let me tell you, my children really are the greatest. {wink}

Our world has been crazy here for months now

with Jim's job change,

with financial strains,

with an adoption in the future,

with a crazy yard sale,

with a mommy learning how to open her home and tackle the roles of hospitality

and being a pastor's wife (more on that to come)....

and these sweet children just continue to roll with the punches. It humbles me, as I must confess that I have not been the most intentional mommy. That puts an awful lump in my throat typing those words. Last week I was so busy with keeping up with the yard sale items that on Thursday I really didn't have time to play with Cadi. While I was busy she emptied my dryer and neatly "folded" the clothes onto my couch as she had seen her mommy do over and over again. Then she made her own fun. This is how I found her.



Jim asked me if I reprimanded her and told her the dangers of playing in the dryer. I didn't. I was feeling too guilty about not having the time to play with her. But no worries, we have since talked it over. (On a side note - my mom once dryered her cat! The cat was fine - a little worse for wear!)

And Scotty just continues to be sunshine here in our home. Charming and pleasant and silly. He is getting so big. My heart catches when I think about his second birthday coming at the end of summer. He's no longer my baby, but I have yet to tell him that. {grin}



We are getting out of the house this morning. I am thankful for that. I need a break from crazy. My mom and I are going to a local farm market. I cannot wait to load up on fresh fruit and veggies, that is all I have been wanting since the days turned hot. However, produce is just so expensive in our grocery stores. We will also shop at a little Mennonite store before coming home. The children will enjoy seeing the farm animals at the farm market, and I will enjoy my children.

My back deck is loaded with left over yard sale items, and there are still a few in our yard. I just don't know what to do with it all. The thought of another yard sale does not appeal to me. Our paper work for this adoption overwhelms me, and yet God continues to grant me His grace to plug on.

I am pretty set on the changes to my blog for now (besides very minor tweaking). For about one hour yesterday, I wasted time rearranging the layout. I moved both sidebars to the right, but it just was not looking great. HTML seems to get the best of me. Everyone is moving to wordpress, and makes me wonder if I should to.

Ack. Just blog Tiff. Don't get caught up in the business of blogging.


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PS Come join the discussion on the facebook page!

.Staying Occupied.

Our days are a bit slower since finishing up Cadi's preschool last week. We are in limbo waiting for our next step to take with our adoption agency, and I am trying to stay occupied. I thought the 9 months of pregnancy was a long wait for a baby, but this 18-24 month possible wait....ooooh it will be a challenge for me.

My best friend came over yesterday evening to help me tag stuff for our adoption yard sale over Memorial weekend. We got a good head start, and it was nice to be preoccupied for those hours. I have been humbled and blessed by the donations we have received. I have some photos that I may put up here tomorrow.

For the past two days I have been watching a friend's sweet ten month old boy. I wish I could show you his face, but I did not ask permission. You will just have to trust me that he is scrumptious.



His chubby cheeks have gotten lots of love from me!
Cadi seems pretty smitten, too. And Scotty keeps walking up to him saying Hi baby. Be still my heart, is this what I have to look forward to? Having this sweet boy has both occupied a bit of my time and stirred up such intense longing for my own sweet baby.

Scotty finds his own unique way to occupy his time. He runs the length of our house.



Back.



Forth.



Down.



Round and Round.



Where he stops



No one



Knows.

Thanks Scotty. You're a joy and the master at occupying your mommy.

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.Business as Usual.

It's business as usual around here.

Homeschooling.

More pencil practice and focused much of our morning on prayer in honor of today's National Day of Prayer. Our school year is rapidly coming to a close. I cannot believe how quickly Cadi's preschool year flew by. Sad. I have soooooo many photos from this year. A big chunk of them I have never even shown. They sit inside my computer.{sigh}I think I need to start investing in photo books. I think I would have to fall into a large inheritance for that. I am rather addicted to my camera.

Letting my {nearly} 21 month old son run around sans pants.

He keeps removing them today. I finally decided it was not a battle worth fighting. He seems to be enjoying the freedom of letting his diaper hang out! And if I get over my perfectionistic tendencies, it is rather cute.

Seeking and finding joy in the everyday.

Yes, that is her lunch on her face. See I really am working on perfectionism!

Giggling.

Cherishing their childhood, and finding the things they find funny to be funny myself.

Learning and understanding their unique personalities.

Their individualism.

(This photo was taken to accompany my first Raising Homemakers article.)

Oh, if you are wondering where Cadi's glasses are....Scotty snapped them in half last week. Yup. They were supposed to be in Tuesday. Yes, it is now Thursday.


It has to be business as usual around here, or I would just burst with this major secret that is threatening to ooze out at any moment. Ug. It's killing me.


Subscribe to me here if you want to know the moment I spill the beans! {grin}

.On Preserving their Innocence (again).

It's not just boundaries and rules.

It's more than just cutting cable, eliminating movies, and secular music.

It's not enough to train our daughters to dress modestly, to teach our sons to bounce their eyes.

This issue lies in the heart - our heart as a parent and then our children's heart.

Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

We can go round and round about the tentacles of the issue for days. How should we dress our little girls? Should Disney movies be allowed? Is it okay to keep our cable? Etc., etc. But what it all comes down to is the motives in our heart. Each family must choose, for themselves, through prayer and searching out the Scriptures, what is right for their family. I cannot say what is right for your family and visa-versa. Yes, there are very clear Biblical standards that we all must abide by, and I am not debating those.

My last post was merely myself working out in writing how to do this for our family. I also wanted to bring light to a subject that I feel is all too often ignored in Christian circles. Some of the standards set by other families that I read in your comments were incredible, and gave me much to consider. Some I knew right away were not the right fit for our family, but I don't judge anyone for the conclusions they come to. I think as Christians, we have to be very careful with issues such as this. We need to be careful not to be self-righteous in our thinking and attitudes towards others who do not hold to the same standards. It is a balance. Yes, it is hard to decipher how to balance at times - how to speak the truth in love, but not be judgmental and self-righteous. I am earnestly praying to guard my own heart against this, because to be honest I have failed in this area more times than I care to admit.

Having set this as my prelude, I do want to highlight some of the comments that made me really think. I am sure not everyone got to read through them, and some were just too good to miss! Thank you for participating in the discussion. I loved that! I do enjoy hearing a variety of opinions, so please feel free to share if you have some thoughts. Let's just be respectful and keep it kind. {grin}

We are very cautious at what they [daughters] wear and now that they are 12 and 9, I am so thankful that we had those standards set in place before they started changing...I think that is the best way to say that. ;) I challenge you to keep your feet on the path you have laid before you now. It gets tough.

When we watch shows as a family, we have to turn off commercials, because many are completely inappropriate!

Running the risk of sounding like a boyscout, it's my job as Mommy to protect and prepare the kiddos. As much as I want to hide them away from the impurities of life, I know I also need to teach them to deal with them and why these things aren't beneficial or God honoring.

No one else is going to fight for our child's innocence. WE, their parents, have to be willing to fight for it.

But ultimately, we answer to our GOD not to man. He is the righteous Judge and lover of our souls...and the souls of our children. (Lord willing...)

I do, however, think we need to be very congnisant of how we're teaching it to our children. You were very good to point out in your post that these were choices that YOUR family is making and that you're not judging others. However, when we teach it to our children, I think we must be careful to teach them in the same vein so that we don't inadvertantly teach them to judge others.

While we need to filter what they see, we need to teach them how to deal with what they DO see, too.

My husband and I come from very immoral pasts and we are very sensitive to what we subject our children too, until their foundation is built and we are confident they are able to battle the world.

For me, the biggest challenge is modeling this behavior for my children.

We believe that our job as their parents is to protect them and teach them right from wrong. It doesn't matter what the world thinks is right; it matters what God thinks is right.

Obviously I can not shelter my children from seeing someone walking in a mall who is scantily clad or has decided the whole world is privileged to see her cleavage for free. But I can talk to my children about it when they are shocked that someone would want to represent themselves to the world that way.

I wish my parents had sheltered me more.

To me, the bottom line is that we are accountable for how we raise our own children, not whether other people think they're too sheltered or something.

And this last comment that I will share hits the nail on the head for me.

As far as the sheltering goes. I don't see that as a bad thing. God is the perfect example of a parent and he most definitely shelters us. All throughout the Psalms, the Bible talks about God being our Shelter.
Here is just one such passage:

Psalm 91:1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him. 3 For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease.

The other thing mentioned by other commenters is that when we 'shelter' our kids too much then they won't know how to deal with the world when they get out of the house. I don't think this is true either. As I mentioned in my earlier response, God tells us to be wise about what is good and simple about what is evil, and he tells us to get wisdom all throughout the proverbs and then tells us that wisdom is PURE... And the verse that Tiffany mentioned about thinking on things that are good and true and lovely, etc. Do you really think that God will tell us that, and then say "Well, you do that, but I'm not going to give you the skill and guidance to cope with the evils in the world when you go out into it." I mean, really? What kind of God do you think he is? He loves us, and guides us, and protects us, and leads us... Not just when we are sheltered in our home, but when we face the choices and evils of the world as well. Knowing what is good IS enough to guide us... God doesn't say we need to dabble in evil and sin and experience it on the fringes so that we know what we are up against. NOPE. He says he wants our hearts to be pure, good, true, honest, innocent... When you are full of light, it is easy to recognize darkness...

I loved seeing your hearts, dear readers. If this post brought something else to light for you, please share! It is so encouraging and interesting for me to read your thoughts!

Now I must go back into hiding for a bit! {wink}




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.My Favorite Things.

Sunshine and giggles and a child's sweet scent
Bright lovely mornings of time easily spent
Pretty blonde hair all tied up in strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Painting and coloring creating with care
Singing and dancing and breathing a prayer
Wild children running with arms flung like wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in princess dresses and boys with a ball
These are the moments I hope to recall
Stories and make-believe what everyday brings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the baby cries
When the house is a mess
When I'm not feeling wise
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel distress




What are your favorite things??

.Happy New Year.

Wow. Christmas came and went. And now I sit here as the first day of this new year, 2010 yawns to a close. Time is so fleeting. The older I get, the faster it goes. I can remember how time nearly stood still for what seemed like forever when I was a child, and now that I am an adult with two children it is just whirling by. I am looking forward to what God has in store for our family in 2010. I think He has some huge plans. And I am scared. And I am excited.
I have kind of hit a dry spot with my blogging. I need to give my blog a makeover, but enjoy the Christmas music, the snow, and all, for a few more moments. {grin} Too much going on - too much living and busyness and family togetherness and stuff, but I wanted to quickly share an idea that I heard of a few months ago that I am so excited to try this new year.
I think in my last post I mentioned how I was a list maker, and I liked organizing things in my own handwriting, and how I had a deep love for pen and paper. Well, I love journaling, too, as you can probably guess. However, my journal entries seem to be getting sparser, and I really wanted to remedy that. As much as I love blogging - there is just something about writing things down in my own handwriting - not sitting and typing on a sterile keyboard.
I have lists all over in a very unorganized way in my house - a to-do list on my island, a grocery list on my fridge, a calendar with appointments on my wall, a menu by my computer, a housecleaning schedule on my fridge or in a drawer, etc. A mess of lists, a big, unorganized scatterbrained mess. And then I have my beloved journal that gets neglected lately. All of these things are essential for me. I need them, or at least it seems I do. I do operate my day much more efficiently off of a to do list, a menu, a calendar, and such. But not only is it scatterbrained and unorganized, it is not creative either.
Enter: The Homemaking Visual Journal.

This was my Christmas gift to myself, along with some felt tip pens. It is just a blank book with heavy weight pages - nothing fancy and pretty inexpensive. I glued this pocket (it came off of an old calendar) to the front.

This journal will be home to my to do list, my cleaning schedule (found on the inside of the front cover in a plastic sleeve - in case I change the schedule!) my menus, new recipes I want to try, prayer requests, praises, memorable quotes my children say, memories, photos, decorating ideas, new recipes to try, my calendar, etc.
It is perfect. It is creative, yet practical, and I am so excited about it. It currently sits on my island, and I think that will be its home. It will be handy there, for phone messages, a quick look at my day ahead, and maybe even it will catch some of Cadi's drawings.



I started my journal like I start all journals - just done more creatively - a quick overview of where I am in my life right now.



I then went on to write some of my hopes, dreams, and prayers for this new year.



Then I started right in on menu planning for this coming week and a to-do list for my weekend.



I also started filling out January's calendar.

Maybe this gives a fun idea to some other journalers out there. I am excited to see how this evolves, and I may share a few more pages here and there on my blog.
(This is not an original idea of mine, I got the concept from another woman, and as soon as I remember her website, I will share it!)

Here are a few quick photos from our Christmas break. I do not want to overwhelm this post with photos, so I only pulled a couple.



My boy {finally} took four steps! Do you know how hard it is to take a photo while helping/watching an almost 18 month old walk?! HARD.



I found Cadi like this on our bed one morning after I finished my shower. She was tuckered out from the past few days.




This was Christmas morning. Yes, my children are eating leftover cookies from "Santa's" plate. It was Christmas, after all! How cute is Scotty?! We always read the Christmas story and pray to focus on the meaning of Christmas before opening any gifts. (Cadi really was as exhausted as she looked! She went to bed too late on Christmas Eve.)



If you come to our home on most days this is how you will find my children. It's a good thing that Scotty is so laid back!



My children opening their Christmas Eve jammies.

I trust you are looking forward to the new year. Maybe this is the year Christ will return? Maybe this is the year my daughter will accept Jesus as her Savior?
What WILL 2010 hold?