.Grace for Those Mommying Days - You Know the Ones.

If you are a mommy you have had one or will have one. It's inevitable that you will have mornings where you wake up empty and spent from a long night of little sleep. Coffee does little to recharge you and a fog takes over your head. You know the days I am talking about, when you do not think you can change one more diaper, or pick up one more block, or help with one more homework assignment. The days when you feel like your head will implode when you are asked again where this is and that is. The moment when you realize you have read his favorite book 2000 times and you think you cannot possibly mumble through it for the 2001st time, and forget the character voices and the animated narration because they. aren't. happening. I'm talking about the days where you think that surely someone else could sweep into your home and do it all better. When you look to your right and to your left and see her mothering better and her and her. You see that mom over there, the one that has it all together. For the days that you want to curl back in bed and throw the covers over your head because you have failed so many times before breakfast has ever even hit the cereal bowl.

You've had one of those days, right?

Me too. And, especially for those days, it is time to give ourselves a little grace.

Grace for Those Mommying Days:

1. I will grasp the truth that the moment I became Mommy, I traded in my perfect house for an authentic, lived in, loved on home.
2. My success as a mommy is not wrapped up in clean dishes, clean clothes, or clean children, rather in children who are secure in the love of their mommy and her Jesus.
3. God gave these children to me, knowing that they were perfectly created to expose my weaknesses - the very weaknesses that God's power is perfected through.
4. I will remember that this life is a vapor when my child is making her 100th excuse at bedtime, and I will hold her a little closer knowing today is a gift and tomorrow is not promised.
5. I will get on the floor and tickle and laugh and build block castles; I will forget the telephone, the computer, and the to-do list momentarily, for I know that childhood is a season and someday I will miss this.
6. I will purpose to see Jesus in the middle of the mess and share Him tangibly with each child - this season of soft-tender hearts is brief.
7. My apologies will come quickly when I lose my temper, mess up, and fall short; children need to see that Mommy is human and humble and values how she treats them.
8. I will  invite my children to laugh and be silly and dance and be wild, because this one beautiful life should be lived with crazy joy.
9. I will embrace the moment, looking past the chaos, and reflecting on the beauty in the here and now.
10. I will always, always, always say I love you and mean it.

[Printable here.]

Go on Mommy, give yourself grace. Jesus already has.

.Graceful Parenting.

Parenting is a huge undertaking. It does matter who I am today, because who I am today is molding who my children will be tomorrow.

Introducing Jamesy into our home has made me stop and think about so many things. One is our approach to parenting and discipline. We had to really revisit the way we discipline because of the circumstances that surround the first 15 months of Jamesy's life. I remember when our social worker first talked to us about our discipline plan of action and philosophy of discipline with Jamesy, and how it may need to look very different from our other two children. I didn't necessarily get it then, but I do now. Even my parenting has taken a turn that I did not predict.

I have some type A tendencies, not completely that is for sure, but I definitely strive on structure and controlling my environment and circumstances. If I can structure and control my life then I can actually present more like a type B personality - calm, patient, relaxed, etc. When things get out of control for me then I present more and more like a type A personality. I Baby-wised my first two children for this very reason. I needed (or thought anyway) that they had to be on a rigorous schedule and had to be sleep and feeding trained in order that I may feel as if I had some kind of control. And it appeared to work - at least I felt in control, my children slept beautifully, followed a schedule, and were great babies.

This need for control also crept into discipline. I leaned far more towards the disciplinarian, behavior modification, and sin management kind of way of raising my children. Strict discipline fit nicely into my need for things to be controlled and my desire for my children to obey me immediately. I like things black and white. Here is a rule - follow it or receive the consequence. Of course I loved my children, and I really was concerned for their hearts. But I also really thought enforcing strict discipline was the way to do it. I ran a tight ship in my classroom when I taught school, and I carried that into my home. I have always been a rule follower, and this seemed important in raising my children.

But after bringing Jamesy home, something wasn't feeling all that right. It started with little things, like Jamesy's need to be rocked and cuddled to sleep. It made me reconsider the way I had sleep-trained my first two and wonder at what I had possibly missed out on with them. Rocking Jamesy has made for some of the sweetest moments that I have encountered with my littlest boy. I never sat and watched my other two children's eye lids grow droopy and heavy or received the sleepy, silly grins from them as they fell off into slumber. It has been a precious gift, and honestly I do not want the rocking to end!

Along with structure I crave consistency. I desire it so much so that it is hard for me to admit when things need to be changed in my life or in my home. I do not want to constantly have a new discipline plan or philosophy, and we pretty much haven't budged since Cadi was born. But God has been breaking my heart in this area of parenting and discipline and showing me a new way - a better way. It's the way that He fathers me - with grace and mercy. Two areas severely lacking here. I am recognizing that, admitting it, and praying for God to break me in this area. Jim is in this with me (although I will be the first to admit he is far more gracious in his discipline than I have ever been), and this summer we are reading together and aloud Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel. We are only in a few chapters right now.

We probably will not agree with everything Dr. Tim Kimmel shares - he is human after all, so we will not blindly accept his ideas, but we will filter everything we read through the Bible and make changes that we need to make. I can already tell that our philosophy of discipline is getting rocked and changing, and I am glad. I am slowly learning that it is not all about rules.

Our children need to be raised by parents who treat them the way Christ treats us as parents. p.97

So this summer I am relearning how to parent, and I am thankful for the grace He has given me - even in this.
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