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Friday, May 20, 2011

.Speaks For Itself.

And it does - this comment left by a blog reader in response to Wednesday's post just pricked my heart. It is too wonderful not to share. I pray someone is encouraged by this woman's testimony.

I came into my marriage 7 1/2 years ago with the same personality as my husband. We both wanted what we wanted. So I spent the first 2-3 years of our marriage trying to control him. If I thought he did something he shouldn't have, I let him know. He didn't treat me very well either, so he didn't have my heart. At almost the 3 year mark of our marriage, and after falling into a couple of well-laid traps of the enemy, my husband moved out and stopped having anything to do with our family. We had 2 young children and I was pregnant with the 3rd. This was a man who thought his family was everything to him, and now he was like a complete stranger.

It was at this point that I had to step up to the plate, and decide I was going to do whatever it took to save my family. I was so emotionally wrecked during this time, but the Lord showed me so many things. I remember laying in the kitchen floor, sobbing, and the Lord whispered 1 Corinthians 13:4 to me. "Love is patient, Love is kind." That prompted me to open my Bible and read the scripture in it's entirety. If I claimed to love him, this is what my love should look like. And after re-committing myself to him, the Lord began to do a work in my heart about quiet submission. He was gone for a good 4 months. I would see bits and pieces of him, and whenever I got the chance, I would just lavish love and affection on him. I would see the lifestyle he was living, and hold my tongue. I purposed to speak nothing but kind and uplifting words to him. I did a few other things. And eventually, he started coming back around. I know he was seeped in guilt and shame for his actions, and that made it harder to come back. But I made it easy for him to come back.

He has since rededicated his life to God and that horrible time period is in the past. But, it took a good while before I voiced my opinion again. And even then I cautiously spoke, taking his ego and heart into account every time I spoke. Now that we have been married 7 1/2 years, I am free to say whatever I want because now he trusts me. But I had to learn to shut my mouth and let him lead. Even when that meant he made bad decisions. Even when that meant he stopped tithing. And you know what? God NEVER let us down. He NEVER let us go without. He honored my submission to my husband, and completely took care of our finances and blessed us above and beyond.

Now- that doesn't mean for one second that my husband is off the hook. That doesn't mean that what he did was ok, or even slightly acceptable. He has his own consequences that he has had to deal with. But I am not responsible for his actions. I am responsible for my own. I am not called to wait on him to make the change for the better. I am called to be the change that I want to see. And I also want to say- Women don't speak against what you are wanting to see. If you want to see your husband take his place as leader of your home, don't continually confess with your mouth that he is "__________" (You fill in the blank). The Bible says the power of life and death is on our tongues, so DON'T give power to the weaknesses we see in our spouses. Give power to the strengths! I had to learn to cover my husband's sins instead of exposing them. The Bible says "love covers a multitude of sins". And some people may be tempted to call me or anyone else in this situation an "enabler", but I felt the conviction from God that I was NOT to be the Holy Spirit in his life. I was just there to help him be the best version of himself. I am a 100% firm believer that any marriage can be saved. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband; complete with love, laughs, great "bed" time, and just the knowledge that I have found exactly who God wants me to be with. there was never a plan B with God. Sometimes personalities just have to be ironed out!



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