.Day 31 of 7.

And we're done.

I'm still not sure if I can put words to what I have learned this month or how God has prodded my heart. Excess is such an ugly word. Until this month I didn't really comprehend just how much excess had crept into my heart and my home. It's everywhere. It leaves me empty and longing for more - which is funny since excess is more and more and more. Excess doesn't satisfy, though.

I am realizing that my heart has some empty places in it, and I am still pressing into Jesus about that, but what has come to light this month is that I had been filling those empty places, not with Jesus, but with excess. Because empty places beg to be filled with something.

This month swelled and took on a face of it's own. It turned into something bigger than simply fasting on 7 foods. In the past 31 days, God has used this time to break some bad habits when it comes to food. The amazing thing about breaking bad habits is that growth can begin to happen again in areas that were stunted or stagnant. Self discipline was obviously huge this month, but I learned it wasn't me doing it, it was Christ in me helping me to say no to foods outside of my 7. There were moments that were hard. Really hard. Giving up coffee was really hard. The week withdrawal was physically painful, but that alone was eye-opening. By mid morning I was groggy, grouchy, and headachey, and my children got the brunt of it. I learned in those moments that as much as I thought I was relying on Jesus to carry me through my day, perhaps I had been leaning on coffee a little too hard. Let me be clear, I am having a cup of coffee in the morning, and I will enjoy it. But I don't need it anymore.

The excess of food in my life was distracting me from God, and I didn't even know it. Pairing it all down to 7, shone a bright light on that fact. If excess of food got in the way of me seeking hard after God, what is excess in other areas doing to that relationship?

I want to fix my heart on Jesus. I want to follow Him every single day with my whole heart, my whole being. This 31 days was just a start. We have 6 more months of this mutiny of excess. I don't want anything crowding out God in my life.

I surrender. Again. I want to continue to make radical changes in these areas of excess. If nothing else, these 31 days recalibrated something inside of my heart. And that alone has made this experiment worth it.

But I do more than thank. I ask - ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory - to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for Christians, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him - endless energy, boundless strength! Ephesians 1:17-19.

.Days 29 &30 of 7.

One more day left!!

Last night I zoned out with a book, and the evening got away from me. By the time I realized I had not published a post, I was too tired. And now yesterday is a blur of first day of summer vacation fun. It was gloriously hot. I took the kiddos for a walk, to the library, and to play at the park. We all were tired when we came home. I laid on Scotty's lower bunk bed for a moment during nap time, listening to their book on CD, and I fell asleep for about 10 minutes! That never happens! I love homeschooling so much, but the more relaxed, care-free summer days are very much needed as well. We are figuring out our summer routine and enjoying being together and having fun. I am noticing that this past month with no real menus to plan or big grocery lists or trips to make, I have a lot more time to be intentional with my children in the afternoon/early evening. I want to figure out how to make that stick.


Scotty & Cadi with their pile of library books yesterday afternoon.

But I have to be honest, I am thrilled to have worked on a menu plan and grocery list today! I cannot wait for my coffee on Friday morning. I will not take it for granted and savor every sip. But I learned something, I can live without it. I can also live without a lot of food. It didn't kill me, and after awhile it didn't even feel like self control anymore but just almost normal. The hardest days were Friday, because that is our family pizza night. We all really look forward to Friday nights. But it was fine.

Still working through all God taught me this month. I think food has been an idol. {squirm} I think I have allowed it to consume many areas of my life - and that therein lies the excess and the very point of this fast. I don't want to be ruled by the excess that is so suffocating here in America, and I don't want to blame this country for the ways I have let excess infiltrate my life, my home, and my heart. I want Jesus to rule me. Still pressing into Him about this, hoping to figure out how to more coherently write about it tomorrow.

One more day.

Habi update:

We got the I-20 from the private school that we have enrolled Habi in. It and our other paperwork is headed to Ethiopia! Habi has his passport photo taken tomorrow, and then he should have his passport by next Thursday. He should have a visa embassy interview scheduled for a day that Jim and I are in country. {squeal} Cannot believe this is all coming together so perfectly! Please, please keep those prayers coming. I am specifically asking prayer for Habi, as he is nervous about the interview, and for the consular who interviews him. We have heard that there is one woman in the embassy who almost never gives out visas, BUT our God is bigger!

Cadi update:

I shared this on facebook today.

Got the phonecall from Upstate Hospital that Cadi is officially in remission!!! She has been diagnosed with an accute case of I.T.P., however her chances of it reoccuring and becoming chronic I.T.P. are increased. BUT we only have to do another blood draw again if we ever notice the membrane bleeding, petechaia, or bruising, like she had this fall. God has been so good and gracious to our family! ......These have been probably the hardest 8 months of parenting to date. Thank you to our friends and family that carried us in prayer, encouraged us with cards, calls, messages, etc., babysat Jamesy and Scotty while Cadi had Hematology appointments, allowed us to cry on their shoulders or into the phone when Cadi was not looking, fixed us meals, sent Cadi care packages and cards and visited with Cadi while she was on bedrest for so long. Today we are praising God for life - every breath is a grace gift from God.

.Days 27 & 28 of 7.

Jim and I came to the ultimate decision to continue with 7 until the end of the month, like we had stated from the beginning. So, we ate our approved foods up until the wedding yesterday, and then enjoyed the food at the wedding last night. I was really surprised by how full I got so quickly. Must be I shrunk my stomach this month. It was a fun wedding. We got home late, and I did not really think about blogging.

I was wondering if having some refined sugar last night would kick in some cravings today, but that did not happen at all. I know this fast is not really about the food, but I feel as if God is teaching me how to have a more appropriate relationship with food. Today we had the picnic at my parent's, and Jim and I contentedly ate our grilled chicken and sweet potato. I have no regrets about eating at the wedding yesterday, or getting right back into the fast today. For us, it was the right decision.

In some ways I feel as if we have been eating these 7 foods forever. But at the same time I cannot believe that we are all done in just three days. I am hoping to get some quiet moments this week to really reflect on everything God has been working on in my heart.

Thinks for bearing with me in this. Next month we focus on possessions - giving away 7 of our items every day of the month. Because June is packed for us - alot of it due to our mission trip that we leave for at the end of June - we are doing it a little differently. We got a head start, and we have already given away the "required number" of the items for the month. I worked really hard last week emptying our closets and bedrooms. But I do hope to get to the downstairs in the next few weeks. I will not blog everyday during the possessions month. I think that could get really boring.

And speaking of boring, thanks for sticking with me this month!

.Day 26 of 7.

I almost forgot to blog tonight. It has been such a fun, full day with my sweet, little family. I am so thankful for these littles that run around our home and for an amazing husband to spend my life with. {happy sigh}It was a sunny, happy day  - a great way to spend our first summer weekend. I am looking forward to sitting down this week and writing out a summer bucket list with my kiddos. I am praying fervently that our sweet teenage boy will be joining us this summer as well!

Tomorrow Jim officiates his first wedding. The wedding is for a sweet friend of ours, whom we worked with at the summer camp where Jim was the Program Director prior to becoming a pastor. I am really looking forward to getting away for the evening with just Jim, and I am looking forward to dressing up....and eating.

Jim and I have gone back and forth all month about how we would proceed with 7 during this wedding. We finally came to the conclusion that we are going to enjoy the meal at the wedding - even though it will certainly not be 7 sanctioned. Our meals have all been paid for by the bride, and we really want to be gracious guests, and not be rude or make anyone uncomfortable. So we have decided that we will eat. I am honestly a little nervous  about how my stomach will react to food outside of the 7 that we have been eating. 26 days is a long time.

On Monday we will start right back with 7. I think. We have wavered back and forth with having today be our last day, because my parents have invited us over for a big BBQ/picnic, but I am not sure if I really want to throw the towel in at 26 days and not complete the month. Our last day is Thursday. We have made is so far!

This is when I really, really need that counsel.

Coffee in the morning does sound divine, though.

What do you think?

.Day 25 of 7.

Today I could write about this.



But that's boring, and the same as yesterday and the day before and 24 days ago. Still going. Still eating 7 foods. A little sad that we will not be enjoying bbq and picnic foods on Memorial Day, but we are almost done - 6 days left! There's nothing more to say on that.

So instead I will write on this.

Habi's birth certificate came in today!! This is a huge step in the visa process, and it took less then a week!



Isn't he so beautiful?

We were promised by the private school we are enrolling him into that they will have the I-20 and his acceptance letter to us by next Tuesday! This is great, because our close friend is traveling to Ethiopia next week and can take it all with him. This saves us both time and money. This next week, the agency will work on getting his passport and assigning him an interview date for his visa at the US embassy in Ethiopia. Please keep those prayers coming. The interview is what we need so much of your prayer going into.

I know God's got this. I really feel as if I am inside of a miracle about to happen.

And I cannot believe that I get to watch it unfold.

.Day 24 of 7.

One week left.

Let me be honest and say that I am ready for the food experiment part of 7 to be over. I have had enough. The taste of apples and chicken actually make me nauseous now.

But that's not what this is about, and I need to continue to be reminded of that. This fast is teaching me to put down my own will in favor of His perfect will. I pray that making it through this little experiment - this month of fasting will strengthen me for whatever may be ahead.

Something is changing inside of me with this fast.

I can't yet put my finger on it. 7 foods. 7 more days.

Jesus break me.

-----------------------------------------
PS I have a sweet friend who is selling Mary Kay to help us raise funds for Habi's visa and other expenses. If you are a Mary Kay user and are in need of some items, would you consider ordering through this link? From now until Monday, she is giving our family 50% of the retail price. Thanks, friends!

.Day 22 of 7.

I was going to skip blogging tonight. I am tired. I am sick of my 7 foods, and I had nothing to say.

And then I decided to add up the donations that have been gifted to us by you - my sweet readers and adoption friends and friends and family here.

Guess how much God brought in - using you?

$2500!

Guess how much we needed to pay the first fee to the agency?

$2500.

How great is our God? He is so in this process!!

 I really believe Habi is going to come home - most of the time. However, I would be lieing if I said that I didn't doubt at all. Our three children are in this with us. Jamesy, of course, does not understand. However, Cadi and Scotty really do understand. They are watching us live out this crazy faith - by moving rooms around and preparing for Habi to come here. We talk about him all of the time. We pray together for him at every meal and at family devotions at night. Today on Skype, Scotty says to Habi, You are my brother. Jesus is going to bring you home.

They get it.

And yet, a tiny piece of my heart begins to doubt and wonder if we are messing up our kids. But almost as soon as those doubt creep in, peace washes over me, and I think, no, we are teaching them what it means to live by faith and jump when God calls you to jump. And if it ends up looking differently than we hope, well they will learn how to process that, too.

And even if its painful, I am okay with that.

Because no matter what, God is so involved with this process, and the outcome - whatever it may be - will be His perfect will. In the meantime God is moving in huge ways, and we are learning every step of this journey. We are learning about faith, hope, love, and reckless abandon.

.Day 21 of 7.

God is doing such big things in the middle of this fast. We are still going stong on our 7 foods - only 10 days left now!

Today I have been pondering and pondering faith, and what it means. We are taking this big leap of faith and pursuing Habi, even though we have been told his getting a visa is unlikely. Today we acted on our faith, and we rearranged bedrooms to make room for Habi. It was a lot of work, and there were moments where I began to doubt and think we were just crazy. But the Spirit kept bringing my thoughts back around to one verse.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews11:1


I said it over and over and over as I pushed, pulled, and rearranged furniture and clothing and bathroom supplies. A few things hit me as I meditated on this one verse and contemplated faith:
 

1. Faith leads to obeying God without wavering.
2. Faith is assurance for our hope - it is what holds our hope up.
3. Faith is what makes me trust an invisible God who moves in very visible ways.

And that's all I've got for tonight. I am exhausted.

.Days 19 & 20 of 7.

I didn't post last night, because we did not get home until very late. Truth be told I was too tired to think of anything coherent to string together here. Jim and I also had not eaten dinner, so we were starving. Last night we were doing this.



It was Cadi's year end award ceremony and carnival for Classical Conversations. It was such a fun night! I cannot believe all of the time end energy that was poured into the night - from carnival decorations, to cotton candy, root beer floats, picnic foods, a clown, a little portrait studio with silly props,a mini-field day with all kinds of realy events and on and on. My children had a blast! Typically for CC on Mondays we only see the grade school kiddos, but last night we got to see the entire CC group (4 year olds up to seniors). There were a lot of us! I so love seeing the teenage kids. They are fantastic kids, and I am very excited to have my children grow up in this program. I was blown away with a portion of the high school students' final exam displayed for the evening - the entire world, drawn and labeled from memory. I am so geography challenged, and I thought that was amazing! So that is where we were last night. I am very, very thankful for this wonderful home school community. I haven't the words to describe how much it has meant to me this year - although I am trying to in a post that I have had drafted for a few weeks! Hopefully, I will publish that soon. It's my thoughts and review of our first year with CC.

The 7 fast continues. A little less than two weeks to go. We are ready to eat different food. It was hard being surrounded by so many yummy treats last night, but Jim and I held out. {grin} Tonight we made a family run to Walmart for a few groceries (you know sweet potatoes, apples, yogurt buhahaha - we stocked up on some stuff for the children, too - they are sick of chicken!!). Jim and I both had a moment of weakness and thought about just quitting early. However, we decided we have come this far, and it has been good. So we keep plugging along!

God has given us so much confirmation this weekend that we are doing the right thing regarding pursuing the visa for Habi. Jim and I really wavered Friday evening and wrestled with God about whether or not we were making the right choice. It seems foolish to spend so much money when he could very easily be denied the visa. Money that could probably be used to help him in other ways. We didn't want to have to ask for money, and we both feared what people might think and say behind our backs. But we kept coming back to the same thing. Habi needs a family, and God is asking us to step up and be that family for him - even if it doesn't look like an adoption. God is calling us to step out on the ledge in faith. Today's Sunday School lesson and sermon were both on this very thing. {Confirmation} And God has provided over half of what we need to pay the initial fee for the agency (they start working on Monday!). {More Confirmation} Then tonight in Walmart, there just "happened" to be size 16 wrangler jeans on sale for $3. Those are just a few of the ways God has confirmed in our hearts that this is what He is asking of us right now.

I have a lot more to say, but I am going to go snuggle on the couch with my hubby for our last night of cable.

To everyone that has donated to the Habtamu fund - thank you is not enough. Please know that God is using every penny for the sake of His glory. Thank you for entering into this story and for allowing God to use you to bless a sweet teenage boy in Ethiopia. May God bless you tenfold. Great is your reward in heaven. Please keep praying. I believe prayer is the only thing that can bring him home.

.Day 18 of 7.

I cannot believe we have been doing this for 18 days already. Then again it seems like we have been doing this for months.

Friday nights are the hardest, because all we want is pizza. Two more weeks, and then we can have pizza!

{More on Habi to come in another post.}

.Day 17 of 7.

I think God perfectly orchestrated this fast for this month - well, of course He did. He knew we would need that intentional focus and prayer that comes with fasting. I am hesitating to share this - any of it....

This is about our precious boy that we met on the streets of Ethiopia in January of 2011. This is about Habtamu. My heart knew the moment that our eyes locked, on that dusty street, that he was mine, and I was his. I think my heart knew as soon as he shoved his bracelet into my hand through the van window, that he was my son. Looking back I can now see how God was preparing me for the moment that I met him. Even the day before, as I witnessed families meeting their older children for their meetcha day. Something bruised in my heart, as I watched these older children, run into the arms of their new parents with tears streaking their brown faces and sobs catching in their throats. These were children who knew what they had been missing out on, children who longed for a family. I knew that Jamesy was God-ordained for our family, but I knew even then, that we would not be bringing home an infant for our next adoption.

 I've chronicled much of our story with Habi here, but what I have not come out and said clearly is that we have been pursuing an adoption of him for a long time. It started last June, and then God slammed the door, only to reopen it this January/February. Someday I may write more on how that came to be and perhaps some of what transpired, but not now. The past four months have been a roller coaster ride of emotion. One day we would find out that an adoption was nearly impossible and the next that it looked probable, and it bounced back and forth this way for months. We kept in almost daily contact with Habi, thanks to internet cafes, facebook, and skpe. On some days he would use the last little bit of money he had from working all day to skype with us, rather than eat - because seeing the faces of people who loved him was more important to him. We've prayed for him, cried over him, and longed to bring him into our family. We have feared his safety and heard his cries for food, shelter, but above all for a family. I cannot even count how many nights I have cried myself to sleep, selfishly asking God why He put such a love for Habi in my heart if he would never be my son, and if we could not do more to help him. I have awoken from nightmares about Habi sleeping on the street - only I awake from these nightmares while they are Habi's reality a lot of times.

This week our Habi was only  one clearance away from becoming paper ready to be adopted, and God slammed the door. Permanently.

My heart is crushed.

But even despite the sadness, we have a glimmer of hope. To some it may seem strange why we would fight so hard for a street boy - a teenage boy nonetheless, who we have only spent little time with, know very little of his story, or what kind of horrors he has experienced. I am sure only a few years ago this would have seemed strange to me. I know this makes us weird. I am getting used to that. But every time we pray over this situation, because to do nothing is not an option when God so clearly placed him in our life, we feel as if Jesus would fight for this fatherless boy. So in turn we fight. We pursue. We move forward, and we do not give up hope. I think every child should be in a loving family, and every child should have someone who is fighting for them - who is for them. Habtamu is that child for us. We are for Habi.

So now we pursue something that is very difficult in Ethiopia with a boy like Habi. We pursue an F-1 student visa. Many times thse visas are denied - especially for poor people like Habtamu who have nothing to make them want to come back to Ethiopia. But this is our final attempt to bring him into our family. We have found a SEVIS approved school (a school that has the legal certification to accept students with F-1 visas) that has told us they will accept him. It is over an hour drive both ways, but we are so thankful to have found a school. We will fill out paperwork for them and wait for the I-20 approval. Paperwork will be done on Habtamu's end, and then a visa interview at the embassy will be requested. Typically this all takes several months, but we are praying to a big God. We are asking God to bring the paperwork together quickly and to give Habi a quick interview date, and then we will ask every believer we know to get on their knees and pray that Habi gets granted that visa. We are also praying that this can all happen by the time we go over for our mission trip in July, and that God would orchestrate the details for Habi to have his visa and be able to fly home with us.

According to man's thinking this is impossible.

But with God it's possible, so I am clinging to that and looking forward to the moment that Habi is in our home.

 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

.Day 16 of 7.

We decided that whole wheat bagels are the same as whole wheat bread. Yup, we did.

Tonight for dinner, in front of our small group, we ate a toasted bagel with peanut butter.

And it was very good.

.Day 15 of 7.

I've been thinking about food today. It's weird, for about a week now, I have not had any real cravings. Sure I grumble and complain a bit about the same 7 foods that I am eating, but I am just realizing that the cravings are gone. This seems wonderful, because I am just eating when I am "supposed" to eat. During the day I do not even think about eating or cravings or being hungry. Typically, in the afternoon especially, I will feel hungry or feel a desire for food, and  I will eat a snack, or I will watch the clock until my next meal. Ha! But these desires are gone right now - all of them - chocolate, coffee, chips and dip  - those are my main cravings. I even watch the Food Channel Network at night with Jim and the food looks good, but meh, whatever. It's weird, and nice as pounds are just falling off right now, although I am very consciously trying to make sure that is not the focus of this first fast. If that is my focus than I have surely missed out on something beautiful.

I think this 7 experiment is retraining my hunger, and really that is what a fast should do. A true biblical fast should retrain our hunger from food to Jesus. I didn't really expect that to happen with such a non-traditional kind of fast, but as I step back and process all of this I can see that it is happening.

7 is also showing me how much sin has distorted all of life - even food. With these 7 real, non-packaged, non-processed or preserved foods, I feel as if I am stronger, healthier, and able to think clearer. I realize now that I have been eating a distorted version of the food God created for us to enjoy. Now I am not saying that unhealthy food is sinful! I am merely working through my thoughts on all of this. I think God could have created us in a host of different ways to gain nourishment, but He chose to create us with the need for food. Food that tastes good and is pleasurable. But I feel like we have taken that and twisted it to such an extreme - just like sex, just like marriage, just like money - and all of these other things that God has blessed us with. I am not really sure where I am going with this, and I tread cautiously. I very easily get swept up into the organic/clean/whole food way of eating, and I am guilty of letting that consume me more than Jesus in the past. I do not think that pleases God any more than me shoveling Twinkies down my throat.

 So I guess I will just leave it at this: I am revisiting some of these food thoughts, thinking it through, praying about it, and reading up on a few things. I really am noticing a difference in me as we plow through this third week of the experiment. Maybe having all of these food choices and options available to us is more of a curse than a blessing. Maybe that was the whole point in reducing in this area of food - for me to realize what the excess is truly doing to my body, mind, and spirit. Not having to think about what I am eating has also given me back so much more time, but perhaps that is another post for another night.

.Day 14 of 7.

I cried a lot today. Not really 7 induced crying, but seriously the sight of another apple may make me cry all over again.

I have written and rewritten paragraphs here and deleted them, and now I stare at a blank screen. It is weird for me when the words get stuck. But they are stuck today. God is very near. He is everyday, but today perhaps I have been more intentional about noticing. Maybe today I am realizing how very much I need Him. And He is right here. But what I have to remember is that He is there too - a world away loving, protecting, and drawing a special little street boy to Himself. He is there regardless if I am or not. I don't want to stand in the way of that, and yet my heart wants what it wants. Just a sad, emotional day.

So many times I heard myself crying to God today I didn't ask for this.

And what I am talking about is the pain, but I didn't ask for the blessing of loving two children as sons whom I did not carry in my womb, either. And that has been one of the most amazing, life-changing, life-giving experiences of my entire life. God knew that was exactly what I needed. I am guessing I need this hurt, too.

The pain makes this story that God is writing more beautiful. The pain is developing me, and making me a different person than I would be without the pain. Without the pain, yes, I would find an easier, but flatter ending. The pain will make the story more beautiful, and the beauty will all point to the glory of my God.

And perhaps this is just the day that God orchestrated for the middle of this 7 fast. There was no food to pillow my tears today, just the arms of Jesus.

And that is enough.

He is enough.

He is more than enough.

.Day 13 of 7.

It was such a beautiful weekend. 7 was just not in the forefront of my mind - regardless if that is a good or bad thing. We did eat the chicken bbq today. Just the chicken. No sides. It was good. It was nice to have some flavor and seasonings, but honestly it was still chicken. I don't feel guilty, but I am glad that we did not splurge on anything else besides seasoning.

Every single day I think of Jamesy's first mommy, but I am finding that Mother's Day brings the emotions of the truth that another Mommy loved my baby, right into a hot, thick lump in my throat. I tried to experience the day to it's fullest - for her and I. I pray we have eternity together for me to be able share all of these special moments that she missed.

But for now, I soak them up for the two of us and bury them in my heart.

There is nothing like being a mommy. Oh, Jesus, draw these hearts to Yours. May these children grow to be the greatest advancers of Your kingdom in their genereation. May the gospel be spread to the end of the earth, by the beautiful feet of these three.

The sun was bright in her eyes. My precious girl who daily points me to her Daddy in Heaven. My children keep me humbled at His feet.

This photo is precious to me. This is my grandma whom we have been praying for all winter. She was so close to going home to meet Jesus, but He was not finished with her life here. She is home, and she is doing well!

 

To the One who has, for now, blessed me with these - thank you.

.Day 12 of 7.

It was a beautiful, warm day. I barely even thought about my 7 food choices. I just enjoyed the day, my family, and let the food take a backseat and just be fuel.

I also forgot that I was a sensible mom of three for a few moments and rode on the back of a motorcycle this afternoon. It was the first time in fifteen years.

And it was fun.

.Day 11 of 7.

Today was a looooong day, prefaced by a too short night. Jamesy was up at 3, and stayed up. So did his daddy and mommy. I have been dragging all day long. The laundry list of everything that had to be squeezed into this day exhausts me too much to even type it out here. And it's Friday night - our pizza night, only it is sans pizza for us. And that is depressing.

I am ready to break up with chicken and sweet potatoes and their five other friends. {bleck}

And fair warning - we are going to cheat on Sunday. We are going to cheat and eat bbq chicken - skin and all. I cannot wait for those flavors - the vinegar, oil, salt, poultry seasoning, egg - whatever else is in a bbq chicken marinade. Oh yummm. I am salivating now.

Today I am a little rough around the edges. I need a little refining.

I need more Jesus.

Not sure why my thoughts are on indulging on junk food. But if I am being totally transparent, right now they are.

Eleven days in.

Twenty days to go.

Maybe I am not so great at this reducing stuff. Maybe I am still trying to do this on my own.

I need You Jesus.

.Day 10 of 7.

I am just going to admit it.

I am ready for new foods. Ten days in and my taste buds are bored.

But I am not giving up or in. God is doing something with this! Today my thoughts have been far away, dreaming about how our family can dive into the marginalized right here in our community. Our heart will always be passionate about Ethiopia, and I know that we will always, always have a relationship with Ethiopia - including yearly mission trips, adoption, orphan care, and anything else that God lays on our heart. Perhaps someday it will be long term.  But right now, we are here. In a small, rural, farming community that has its own marginalized people walking among us. Yes, the needs here are different then the needs in Ethiopia. The poverty is not the same, and that is why I feel we must have our hands moving in both places right now - for us it cannot be an either or. Since last night's small group, my mind has been ruminating on the story of the good Samaritan, and God's biggest two commandments for our life. 1. Loving God with our entire being. 2. Loving People - our neighbor.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 

“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” Luke 10:25-37


We had a good discussion about who our neighbor really is, and concluded that it is any person who we come across that is in need. To not show mercy, compassion, kindness, justice, etc. on that person is just wrong.

That stings.

I have failed in this. Through reading 7,  and throughout the journey God has taken us on this past year, I am beginning to truly grasp how much God's heart is for the outcast - the marginalized. If Jesus was here, in my city, right now, I know exactly where He would be ministering, and who He would be showing love and mercy and compassion, too. Those people look a bit differently than most of the people that darken our doorway on Sunday morning at our church. And guess what? I am ashamed and begging forgiveness from God, because I am not ministering to those people. Today I started searching my heart, praying, and begging God to please humanize the poverty right here in my hometown, and break my heart for the people that break His heart in my town. I think I am ready to get a little messy, right here where I live, for the sake of the Gospel, for the sake of following my Jesus. {deep breath} So much more where that came from, but not now.

Now I will answer a few of the questions about 7 that have been asked of me.

1) Are your kids doing this challenge also? If so, do they understand why and are they feeling God speak to them also? (I mean this honestly truthfully sincere, I feel like it's coming across as me making fun of you and I promise I'm not)

This was the most asked question! No, my children are not doing the fast with us. My children are 6,3,and 2, and are in no way spiritually mature enough to understand the reasons for a fast. However, with our six year old we have talked a lot about 7 in front of her and with her. She has a very sensitive heart, and I believe that God has placed in her a real desire to love hurting people. She knows the realities of many children around the world, and prays heartily for them. This experiment continues to open her eyes to the blessings around us, and I am thankful that she is seeing this at such a young age. Having said all of that, our children have eaten many of the same dinners as we have (chicken and sweet potatoes!), however, I typically throw in an extra veggie or two for them as well. For breakfast and lunch they eat their typical foods - yogurt, veggies, and sandwiches. Tonight I made them macaroni and cheese and veggies, because I thought they could use a chicken break!


2) Are spices off limits? I was thinking even some of the poorest area of the world still utilize herbs and spices to their advantage.

It's really hard to fully describe this experiment to someone who has not read the book. It tends to come off as very legalistic, which it is not. at. all. How the experiment works is up to the interpretation of each individual and how they want to follow through with the fast. Some people gave up 7 foods for a month, some chose only 7 to eat (like us), some only gave up desserts or sugar, some just coffee, some fasted for 1 week, etc. We chose to do the fast very similarly to the way the author did, so in doing that we have limited our diet to 7 foods, water, salt, pepper, and olive oil. No other herbs or spices are allowed for us.



3) How did you decide on the foods you chose? They're quite brilliant, but I'm wondering what your thought process was.
 
The author of the book actually consulted experts and nutritionists for her 7 foods, so we took her list and tweaked it to our taste buds. We also took into consideration some foods that friends of ours who had done the fast before us wish they had chosen (like peanut butter). would we choose the same 7 foods again.....mmmmmm probably not! We have learned a lot in these 10 days!

.Day #7 of 7.

Today completes week number one. So far God has not done anything miraculously life changing to me in this experiment, and He doesn't have to. It's in the little things that I am noticing His hands molding my heart, as I try to be intentional about pressing into Him. Perhaps all of these little things will eventually snowball into something bigger.

It seems as if I have been studying the fruit of the Spirit forever. This morning I was studying joy. I happened upon a definition and this is how I sum it up: joy is what happens to us when we find God in any and every circumstance where we are seeking Him. This is what I want in my life. I want the joy that comes from finding God everywhere in everything - the glorious in the mundane and in the not-so-mundane. I want joy in the midst of this 7 experiment, and I can obtain joy when I seek God and find Him right here in this fast. Not very earth shattering on the surface, but for me this little nugget of truth seeped into my heart and burrowed itself snug inside today.

Only hours after my study on joy, I read this quote; feast with thanksgiving to show that God is good to give us such gifts. Fast with joy to say God is better than his gifts. ~John Piper

And He indeed is better than His gifts! For 32 years I have been given the amazing gift of choices and endless options when it comes to food - with honestly little thought to what a grace gift it is and little authentic thanksgiving over the blessings poured out on me. But today, with only 7 choices before me, it is easier to see what a gift I have been given. And truly, God is so much better, so much sweeter, so much more satisfying than His gifts. Today I am hungry for God.

And that brings JOY!


I am continuing to press into Jesus, and I am begging God for joy in this fast.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
 
I am praying this tonight. Praying about what it really means to seek my Savior with all of my heart.

.Day #5 of 7.

I am learning what an inappropriate relationship I have with food, and how much it consumes my life.

Now this 7 challenge is not at all a diet, it is not for the purpose of losing weight or getting healthy. Remember it is an open ended experiment, where we have cut back to 7 basic foods, and then we wait for the Holy Spirit to work. But today I realized just how much we center our life around food - speaking specifically about my family.

We awoke early to hit up a neighborhood/community yard sale. I have a needs list a mile long (we ran out of hand-me-downs for Scotty and Cadi. They need a fall/winter wardrobe and a start on the next spring/summer, and I am stocking up for a certain teenage boy - hopefully more to come on that later), so I felt like I could reconcile yard saling this summer. Last year I fasted from them - I had no needs list - and I am famous for picking up items just because they are cheap, and we may need them in the future. But all of those quarters add up to foolishly wasting our money, and really does my daughter need twenty dresses, or ten hoodies, or do I need another pair of jeans?? For my family, the answer is a firm no. So I am cautiously yard saling this summer, with needs list tightly in hand - trying to only focus on that list.

We did well today, and we had fun together as a family. We were there for a little over three hours this morning. By noon we were all hungry, so we walked to a home that was selling hot dogs, chips, and soda to support cancer research. Let me tell you how amazing those hot dogs smelled! I am not typically a hot dog lover either. We rarely eat them, but in that moment I wanted one so much. We were having fun, laughing, enjoying our time together, excited about some great deals we had found, and I wanted to celebrate the moment - the way we always celebrate - with good food. (Okay, okay, I know it has been only 5 days, but in that moment even a hot dog sounded like good food!) And I do this all of the time. I kick off our weekends with a Friday night family pizza party. We celebrate a fun, hot summer day with an ice cream cone. It's not necessarily wrong or bad, either. I was just alarmed that for a few moments while I threw a pity party inside my head, over not being able to eat the hot dog or Cheetos, I actually thought our whole experience was somehow ruined. Now the moment passed, and I regained clarity, along with a raging headache that an apple did little to cure, but it also startled me into realizing the inappropriate relationship I have with food.

Perhaps this little experiment is relearning how to tell myself No, Tiff, you do not need that hot dog. And then realizing that nothing changed. I still had an exceptionally fun day with my family and the food was inconsequential. Perhaps in this self discipline of 7 I am dusting off a little piece of my heart and clearing away some of the junk that has lived there when it comes to my relationship with food. Maybe in doing this I will start to see new growth. Maybe there will now be room for the Holy Spirit to move and grow me in a new direction  - in a way that I have never been able to grow before. I do not know, and I do not want to over spiritualize this experiment. But I feel something softening and stirring, and I feel more alert to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.

So for now I will take it. I think I have been distracted by so much of the excess in my life - food included. By eliminating, it seems I am emptying a lot of junk that has taken up residence in my heart. Little by little I pray to become more consumed with God and less enamored with all of these choices - this excess surrounding me, and if that means letting it go and giving up some of the choices and excess. So be it. I am willing.

Jim on day #5. Honestly, he is doing so great. It is a blessing to go through this with him by my side. I am excited to see what God has to teach us together in this experiment as well as individually.