.What is an Orphan.

I received this email a few years ago when I first became really passionate about orphan care and adoption on my blog. I want to revisit it today, because I know there are still times when we are asked a question similar to this. I think that sometimes as Christians we argue over semantics in order to free us from feeling burdened to do something. I am going to extend grace here and believe that was not the intent of the question. I do not want to start an argument over "what is a true orphan" when there are so many children around our globe needing us to step up and fight for them rather than about them. Having said that, here is a portion of that email:

I've been confused by your referring to orphans, but then it seems they have a living mother. I'm assuming there's a culture thing I have no clue about there, so I was just wondering why they need to be in an orphanage if their parents are living.

First let me make this disclaimer; I am not a biblical scholar. I am not an expert in any field whatsoever. But God has been doing the biggest work in my life these past three years that He has done to date - outside of my salvation. I am beyond passionate about his plea in James 1:27.

Now that my eyes have been opened, I take this mandate very seriously. I take the Bible at it's word and believe that the Bible means what it says. Maybe when I get to heaven I will need to ask Jesus forgiveness for taking His mandate so literally. It is a risk I am willing to take. I am ashamed for the years that I just glanced over that verse (James 1:27) in the Bible. The whole time thinking that wasn't for me, that wasn't my calling. I thought it had nothing to do with me. I thought it was someone else's call, but now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is mine, and it is yours - if you are a true believer. Not adoption - necessarily - don't misunderstand me. But ALL believers have been called to carry out and respond to James 1:27. As of late, I have studied that verse inside and out, as well as other passages that have to do with orphans. (I do understand that James 1:27 is more than about orphans, and I am concerned about widows and keeping oneself unstained from the world. I believe in caring for orphans and widows a person will be unstained by the world. My husband has great thoughts on this, and perhaps we will hear from him later this month.)

The following is what I have learned about orphans from God's perspective.

From my understanding of the Bible, the Bible defines an orphan in its most simplistic form as fatherless.

Strong’s Concordance suggests bereaved, fatherless, and comfortless as ideas inherent in the word “orphans” or “fatherless.”

So if an orphan is "fatherless", what does the Bible say about them....and our role with them?

Here are just some passages that talk of the fatherless/orphan. I know that I missed a few as the Bible is overflowing with these.

Hosea 14:3 Asshur shall not save us; we will not ride upon horses: neither will we say any more to the work of our hands, Ye are our gods: for in thee the fatherless findeth mercy.

Psalm 68:5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

Psalm 10:14 But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless.

Deuteronomy 10:18 He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

Psalm 10:18 To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.

Exodus 22:24 And my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.

Isaiah 10:1-3
Woe to those who decree iniquitous decrees,
and the writers who keep writing oppression,
to turn aside the needy from justice
and to rob the poor of my people of their right,
that widows may be their spoil,
and that they may make the fatherless their prey!
What will you do on the day of punishment,
and in the ruin that will come from afar?
To whom will you flee for help,
and where will you leave your wealth?

Malachi 3:5 Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the LORD of hosts.

Jeremiah 5:28-29 They have grown fat and sleek. They know no bounds in deeds of evil; they judge not with justice the cause of the fatherless, to make it prosper, and they do not defend the rights of the needy. Shall I not punish them for these things? declares the LORD, and shall I not avenge myself on a nation such as this?"

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Deuteronomy 14:29 And the Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do.

Psalm 82:3 Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.

Deuteronomy 24:17 You shall not pervert the justice due to the sojourner or to the fatherless, or take a widow’s garment in pledge.

Proverbs 23:10 Do not move an ancient landmark or enter the fields of the fatherless,

Exodus 22:22 You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.

Zechariah 7:10 Do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.

Jeremiah 22:3 This is what the Lord says: Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place.
Job 29:12-13 Because I delivered the poor who cried for help,and the fatherless who had none to help him. The blessing of him who was about to perish came upon me, and I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy.

Job 6:27 You would even cast lots over the fatherless, and bargain over your friend.

Ezekiel 22:7 Father and mother are treated with contempt in you; the sojourner suffers extortion in your midst; the fatherless and the widow are wronged in you.

Job 24:3 They drive away the donkey of the fatherless; they take the widow’s ox for a pledge.

Psalm 94:6 They kill the widow and the sojourner, and murder the fatherless;

Isaiah 1:23 Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves. Everyone loves a bribe and runs after gifts. They do not bring justice to the fatherless, and the widow’s cause does not come to them.

Deuteronomy 27:19 Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow. And all the people shall say, 'Amen.

Lamentations 5:3 We have become orphans, fatherless; our mothers are like widows.

This verse seems to sum up God's heart for the fatherless:

Psalm 10:14 But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.

After reading through these passages, and I hope you take the time to do so, it seems as though the quality of one’s devotion to God is measured by how one treats the widow and the orphan.

After researching what an orphan is, according to the Bible, and then many verses that talked about them, I came to two conclusions that I believe we as believers are commanded to obey when it comes to these fatherless:

1 We are to be extremely careful that we do not mistreat them.

2 We are to find opportunities to help them. (THIS is orphan-care.)


How that plays out in your life may look and feel very differently than how it plays out in mine, but that does not excuse either one of us to ignore what God has put before us. I believe this must play a role somehow and in someway in every single believer's life.

I really, really pray and hope that you can see my heart here. I believe my heart is just a very, very watered-down and mild reflection of God's. I truly believe God's heart is for orphans. I don't write all of this to be judgmental. I am only beginning to skim the surface when it comes to understanding my role in all of this myself. I just wish someone would have written to me or shared with me about this years ago. So I am hoping someone who reads this will be in that same boat.


(DISCLAIMER: Let me clearly state that I do not believe that God loves the orphans in Ethiopia best. I have simply lost my heart in Ethiopia, but I pray for believers to lose their heart for America's fatherless and Russia's and China's etc. Let's all just do our part in orphan care, wherever it is that God leads us, and let's stop judging where God leads someone else.)

My heart pounded as we climbed the three flights of stairs to the suite we had been staying in. Some of the pounding was from the elevation and climbing the stairs with a baby riding me in a baby sling, but most of it was nerves I realized as I heard his plastic sandals slap the concrete stairs as he followed me.

Were we foolish to invite this stranger of a boy right off of the streets into our hearts, into our suite?

All that repeatedly echoed through my mind, though, was the thought that this is what Jesus would do and did.

I unlocked the door. Jim was still downstairs talking at the front desk, explaining the situation at hand. He tentatively followed me in, eyes round and wide. I knew from the look on his face that he had never lived anywhere so plush, and I felt a twinge of shame. Our eyes met, and he bit his bottom lip - shy, unsure, excited. Then his eyes settled on the light switch, and his face registered curiosity. He looked to me almost as if asking permission to touch it, my face broke out in a wide grin, reassuring his curiosity. He gingerly reached out and pushed the light switch making the lights come to life in the entryway. His face registered glee, and he took off exploring every nook and cranny.

He started in the kitchen - sliding the window back and forth, open and shut. He sat on the ledge, and my heart raced in that overprotective Mama Bear way, Oh, please do not fall out of the window. His eyes then landed on the sink in the kitchen and he manipulated the faucet until the water ran, and he looked at me astonished and broke out in laughter, and my laughter melted into his. I wondered if this was his first encounter with running water. What a mystery it seemed to be to him. He ran his hands under the streaming water over and over. When he was tired of that the stove top beckoned to him, and he turned it on and off, on and off. My heart panicked a bit, and I purposed to tell Jim to talk with him about not touching the stove after we left. Then the microwave was opened and closed, and the refrigerator brought him so much delight. He continually placed his hand inside perplexed over the coolness he felt. My cheeks hurt from smiling, and I quickly grabbed one of the slender glass bottles filled with coke, used the bottle opener to pop the cap off, and handed the cool bottle to him. His smile lit up his beautiful face, and he took a swig, wiping his mouth with the back of his dirty hand.

He continued exploring, flushing the toilet in the bathroom, playing in the bathroom sink. Looking at himself in the mirror and smiling so big with his perfect, white teeth, testing out the couch, the arm chairs, the bed. Marveling at our laptop and the blow dryer that lay beside it. His eyes were hungry to understand everything, and I was living in the moment of wonder right along with him. After several moments I gently handed him his new backpack stuffed with clothing and then a bar of soap. I showed him the shower and how to work it, gave him a towel and shut the bathroom door.

I unhooked Jamesy from the baby sling and kissed his curly head as the tears fell over my cheeks warm and stinging. Moment by moment throughout the past five or so hours I was falling more and more in love with this boy. A little boy from the streets with a history of cruel sadness that no child should ever have to shoulder.

The bathroom door opened and he emerged clean and grinning in his new clothes. I think he put every article of new clothing that we had given him on. He looked older but softer. He pulled up his shirt and showed me a scab on his hip that had opened and looked sore. He told me he got it playing soccer. He seemed proud of his wound, as I tenderly and carefully (not knowing his history and the diseases his little body might hold) bandaged his scab. Tears pricked my eyes wondering when the last time was someone had taken care of him. It didn't seem right that this boy was in charge of himself - alone.

The sneakers we brought were too big, but my running shoes fit him perfectly. He didn't mind that they were pink. I tied them for him, and he grinned from ear to ear so proud to be rid of his dirty, broken plastic sandals. I wondered what it must feel like to be wearing socks and shoes after so long in ill-fitting sandals. How much I take for granted I thought.

Jim came in the door soon after. I was quick to tell him everything and about the stove. Jim swiftly unplugged the stove and took care of my worries. Then they went outside to play soccer, while I snuggled Jamesy for a bit and thought over all that had occurred that day. I marveled that God had orchestrated such a divine meeting. That we would once again find this boy and be given the gift of a day together - a day brimming full with memories, and that God would allow us a way to get him off the street and care for him. It was good, so good, and so God. But it wasn't enough. We could give him the world, and it still would not be enough, for all he truly desired and needed was the one thing we could not give him, and the one basic thing every child deserves - family. My heart split in two. We were getting on an airplane that night, so excited to start our new life with Jamesy, but my heart was breaking at all we were leaving behind and who we were leaving behind. Why would God give us this day with this boy, and then ask us to walk away?

The hours melted into one another. We took photographs and videos and shared photos from the laptop of our family. He played with the mp3 player we had given him and every other electronic gadget that we had brought. We had dinner in the dining room - tibs and injera. He grew quieter and there was something in his dark eyes that was unreadable - fear, loneliness, confusion? Maybe all three. We were to leave for the airport at 10 PM. We tucked Jamesy in to sleep for a few hours, and we quickly packed up our belongings. He would watch us, and I wondered what he was thinking. Soon his eyes grew heavy with sleepiness. We had learned that he normally slept during the day for safety reasons, so no doubt he was exhausted from spending the day awake with us. I helped him to lay down on the cot that was brought up for him, and kissed his cheek. I whispered to him that we would wake him before we left.

I watched him try to sleep. He couldn't lay down all of the way. He slumped against the wall, half sitting up and half laying down, his body tense and on guard. I realized this was how he slept on the street. He twitched and constantly awoke scanning the room, and he whimpered in his sleep. Mumbling and crying. My heart broke again as I watched him. I am not sure when I had felt such pain for another person. Tears streamed down my face, and I looked at Jim and saw pain mirrored on his face as well. I quickly went over sat on the floor and grabbed the boy's hand. He curled his head onto my shoulder and sobbed. I stroked his head and his hand as he trembled. This wasn't right, I thought, as I envisioned my other children safely tucked into their beds sleeping soundly and peacefully. What exactly had this sweet boy endured? I am not sure how long I sat with him crying my own hot tears, broken for this boy. My back finally screamed for me to get up, and I did.

It wasn't long before it was time to do what I had dreaded all day long - say goodbye. I was relieved to not have to leave him on the street, but this was still unbearably hard. We woke him, and I told him that he could sleep in the Queen size bed and watch the TV in the master bedroom. He smiled, but this time it didn't reach his eyes. He sat on the bed and flipped on to a movie that made me flinch, but he was mesmerized. Jim turned the TV off for a moment and pulled him to his feet. I was once again wearing Jamesy, who was sound a sleep in a front pack on my chest. We stood in the middle of that room and football huddled. For a moment the clock stopped, and I memorized the way it felt to be together, to have this teenage boy's arm around me and my husband's arm around me. The tears flowed, and I choked on sobs, and then Jim began to pray. I have no idea what he prayed. My memory fails me, and perhaps even at the time I was too distraught to really listen. I felt the boy quiver. He knew the day was ending, and that we were leaving with no certainty of when we would be back. After Jim said amen, I turned to the boy and hugged him fiercely.

I love you, Mom. He whispered - as broken as I have ever seen another human.

I love you, too.

Then my heart was pierced with horrific pain as I watched Jim envelope the boy in his arms. They rocked back and forth crying. Jim whispered to him over and over that he loved him and that we would be back someday. He promised that all of his needs would be met, and that he would be safe and well fed. And as long as I live I will never forget the look of sheer pain that was evident on the boy's face. It was palpable, and I could not swallow past the burning lump in my throat. Quickly I said one last goodbye and left the room.

And that was it. It was over. And that day has changed the course of my life forever. I still do not how it will all end, but I cannot ever be the same again. I cannot lay my head on my pillow, or wake up in the morning, or look at my brown-eyed boy here in my home and not remember who we left behind.

I hesitated to share any of this, because it still hurts, and it feels really, really vulnerable and private. I feel led to share, though, and I do not want the memory to fade. I want to remember what God gave us that day, and I want to remind myself that these faces on the street and in the orphanages are real people. People that God created and loved enough to send His Son to die for them.

People had told us it is foolish to pursue a teenage boy off of the streets of Ethiopia, that we cannot understand the ramifications it will have on our family.

It's true that we cannot.

But I cannot live with the ramifications of doing nothing.

I think Jesus would pursue the boy.

And simply because of this knowledge - so will we.

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40

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.Meetcha Day & Swirling Thoughts.

I have been anticipating being able to share our very own "Meetcha Day" video, and here it is! Please scroll down and pause my music player on the right hand side bar before playing it. I am so thankful for the sweet families in our travel group who captured the unforgettable moment when we met our brown-eyed boy. I will treasure these forever.



Please feel free to share this video. It was through seeing a video like this, among other things, that God used to prick our hearts and open our eyes last year. We are praying that God would use our story and continue the domino affect - all for His glory!

Now I am greatly anticipating bringing Jamesy home, and having Jim create a video on our entire journey - from God pricking our hearts last January all the way through to the airport homecoming party. Oooh, I cannot wait! It's going to be a feature-length film! {grin}

I have been asked to share exactly what has transpired over the past few days with us passing court. So I am going to try, but know that my words cannot ever express all that is in my heart. I know I have already posted some of this, but bear with me, because I want this all to be in one place for my son to read some day.

When we were in Ethiopia, Jim and I had our first court date, but we could not pass because of a missing letter of reccomendation from MOWA (Ministry of Womens Affairs in Ethiopia). When we arrived home we were told that our second court date was scheduled for February 8th - Tuesday. We were a little discouraged to learn that it was two weeks after our first date, but we hoped and prayed that the time would give MOWA the opportunity to write our letter. However, we received this email last Thursday from our travel coordinator.

Dear James and Tiffany,

I am writing to let you know that MOWA has announced they are moving their file rooms and will not be able to process any adoption paperwork until they re-open on Tuesday, February 8th. As they typically write recommendation letters 24 hours before the court date, we do not anticipate your family’s recommendation letter will be written which means you will not pass court at your scheduled date next week.

We are sorry to have to share this news and will do all we can to have your court date rescheduled for the soonest possible date. We will confirm MOWA not writing your recommendation letter to you next week and will let you know when your next court date has been scheduled. I know this has been a long road for your family and we are praying daily for peace for your family as you wait to bring your child home.

As always, please do not, hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I know questions arise out of difficult news and we will do all we can to provide you with answers during this time. Please continue to join us in praying for your family to pass soon and for continual trust in God’s timing in light of this difficult situation.

I was crushed upon reading this, and immediately went to prayer asking God to have our third court date rescheduled quickly - not two weeks later after this one. Jim and I told everyone that we would not pass and to pray for a quick third appointment. A few months ago I received a book to read and write a book review on Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick. I packed it to read on the plane to Ethiopia. I had other books with me though, so I never got to that one. I didn't actually start reading it until last week. On Sunday night I was reading about the account (which the book is built around) of Joshua from Joshua chapter 10. The Israelites were trying to claim the Promised Land, but they first had to battle five Amorite armies. Joshua decided to strike these armies first - before they had a chance to strike the Israelites - so all night long he marched his armies toward the enemy. Joshua and his men were able to surprise attack the Amorites, and they fought hard all day long - battling well and strong. God even became supernaturally involved by reigning hailstones on the enemy when they tried to flee! Evening rapidly came, and Joshua knew that if they did not finish the battle the Amorites would get away under the cover of night. So he begged God to make the sun stand still so that they could finish the battle victoriously, and God did the impossible!

The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. There has never been a day like it before or since....Surely the Lord was fighting for Israel! (Joshua 10:13-14)

I went to bed Sunday night with this fresh in my mind. On Monday morning I awoke under a strong conviction. From the moment I opened my eyes, I felt as if I was being chastised for my unbelief. I kept thinking about the story of Joshua, and how he dared to ask God for the impossible. I knew that I had to get on my knees and quickly change my prayers, so I did just that. I begged God to forgive my unbelief, and do what seemed so impossible on our behalf. Our court appointment was to take place that evening while we slept, so I felt a sense of urgency. I talked with Jim about my convictions, and he agreed right away that he felt we should pray the same way. Then I got a completely uncharacteristic idea to invite anyone to our home who wanted to join us in prayer that evening. Jim agreed (and looked at me as if I had gone crazy!) and I quickly put a note up on facebook. I texted friends and family, and people rallied behind us - praying the impossible would be made possible with God.

Because the meeting was so-last minute, our family members all had plans and most of our friends as well. My dear friend, who could not attend because of a prior commitment, started praying that God would send us just who we needed to pray with us and who needed to be there. At 6:00 the doorbell rang only once, and the person that has taken every single painful, beautiful step of this journey was standing there. She had sacrificed an hour of time with her family, and had come to petition God and support us. At first I was disappointed that no one else showed, but what transpired was the most beautiful, intimate prayer time. I know God met us in our living room that night, and thinking back it was absolultely perfect and ordained that he would choose her to join us.

Right before we went to the throne, I had an epiphany. I realized that although I had been praying all day for God to do the impossible for us, I still was not believing it would actually happen. I was so afraid to put myself out there and look foolish, or worse yet make my God look foolish. But in that moment I knew exactly how God wanted me to pray - pray believing without even the possibility that He would not come through. I felt very strongly that he wanted me to be vocal about it as well. It was in that instance that I knew the same God that had defied science for Joshua could certainly push the pen of MOWA and land our letter on the judges desk in Ethiopia. From that point on I prayed truly believing that we were going to pass.

It was amazing to see the outpouring of love from hundreds of people all over the country that were praying with us for God to do the impossible. Every time I got on facebook, opened my email, or answered the phone tears would flow from the beautiful words and prayers of love and support. God was moving in His people and uniting believers to pray on our behalf.

I could not sleep that night, but it was not from nerves - I was excited! I kept saying to Jim we are going to pass court tomorrow! When I awoke that morning (at 4 to pray) I posted on facebook that it was going to be a great day. All I had to do was wait for that phone call from Kristen. At 9:30 AM, it came! It is a day and a phone call I will never forget, and I am still flying high from hearing the words You passed. He is your son.

As I continue to chew on and mull over what transpired I am more and more overcome with how undeserving we are, and with how it truly had nothing to do with us. We did not trust God more, or pray harder than the other families who did not pass court. It truly has NOTHING to do with us. It was and is all about God, and all about God showing His power, His love, His glory, and so, so much more than I probably have yet to realize. I am humbled that God would allow us to be a part of this story, but we are just a part, and not a bigger part than any other person that prayed for God to move mountains for His orphan on Monday night.

The verse that keeps coming to mind since Tuesday is Psalm 40:3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

And that is what I am praying through the telling of this story, that it is made completely evident Who we serve, and that many would put their trust in Him.

.I'll Find a Way to Get to You.

I had never given adoption a thought. Nor had I thought about my responsibility to care for orphans.

Adoption was weird.

It was for families who could not have children of their own. {cringe}

I had two beautiful children.

We were a picture perfect family with one girl, one boy, and we were essentially doing our best living out the American dream.

Then the gospel came crashing down on my head.

I began hearing about Christians adopting.

About the orphan crisis.

About the parallel between our redemption and adoption by God and the redemption of physical adoption.

I watched videos.

I started to shed tears for the 147 million plus orphans around the world.

I realized in a whole new way how God had come for me when I was needy, lost, orphaned.

I can still remember the Sunday School class last winter, where the Holy Spirit whispered truth into my heart (and funny enough it had nothing to do with the Sunday School class! But rather I was still and quiet, and my heart had become soft enough). My heart raced, my palms grew sweaty, and I knew that God has chosen our family for the amazing blessing of adoption.

I feel so undeserving. This journey has been one of my biggest joys in this lifetime.

Despite the pain, the fear, the strange looks....

looking into the face of my son makes me realize all I could have missed.

And now I will do anything, I will find a way to get to Jamesy, to bring him home, into his family.

If you feel that still, small voice tugging at your heart. Just stop, listen, and obey. It's worth it. It is so worth it.






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.What I Want You To Know - A Guest Post.

This guest post was written by a fellow adopting mommy. She is adopting through the same agency as Jim and I, and was able to deliver our first care package to Jamesy as well as take some precious photos of him. The adoption community has been a beautiful part of this journey for us. We feel so blessed to be "virtually" surrounded by so many families whose hearts beat out the same rhythm as ours.

Allie is just a few short days from heading back to Ethiopia in order to bring home her new daughter. This is not Allie's first experience with adoption - it is actually her 5th! She has a beautiful heart and has articulated so much of God's heart in this post. Please read this with a soft heart and eyes wide open. Then head over to her lovely blog here to read more of her story. I pray that God uses her words in a powerful way!

Thank you Allie for being such a godly, humble example of the gift we have all been given in our adoption.



"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"--but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
1 Corinthians 2:9-10


In three days I leave for Ethiopia. My heart and spirit have been pondering the reality of that in new ways as of late. The Lord is showing Himself, once again, through this miracle called adoption. He is revealing a new facet of Himself that my heart had previously been unable to fully grasp. As I look back, I realize He has done this with every adoption we have experienced...

With DJ, I learned of the tender Father-heart of God.
With Katie, I learned of the sweet mercy of God.
With Gracie, I experienced the sheer power of God.
With Drew, I learned that God is the ultimate Giver of Gifts, beyond all we can ask or imagine.

All four adoptions brought me to my knees at some point. All four children have obviously had the Lord's hand upon their lives. I have always struggled to put into words the beauty of the bond, the perfection of a family created by the Lord. It is a love that transcends blood-ties or racial similarities, that somehow makes common the uncommon, that makes a barren woman a happy mother of children.

Praise the Lord. (Psalm 113:9)


With Little Sister, who for the sake of this blog will be given the name Mari, I have been given a glimpse into what lies in store for all of us who are followers of Jesus Christ...the redeeming love of God.

Just imagine...

A three year old little girl is waiting for us,
just as we are waiting for the return of Jesus.
She has met us, is learning to trust us, and has been told that we have to go away "for a little while"
but that we will return for her.

Are you seeing the parallel?


She has been broken and grieving, yet she awaits the fulfillment of the promise.
She awaits the home we have been preparing for her.
She awaits a new name, a new family, and a new future...

because she has been adopted.


Do you see? This is your story as well. This is my story! WE have been adopted into the family of God!

But wait, it gets even better...


Katie and I will board a plane and fly across continents and oceans to bring Mari home. We will greet her with open arms and "I love you's". We will present her with new clothes (Just writing that makes me breathless. Imagine the moment when we are clothed in bright white linen before the throne of God!) and bathe her from head to toe. We will escort her across those same continents and oceans, and we will land on U.S. soil...where she will suddenly be a citizen of a new country. We will carry her tenderly through the gates and step out into a crowd of family and friends...her family and friends...who have prayed her home.

Friends, if you ever get the chance to witness an airport reunion or the reveal of a newly adopted child, that is the closest you will ever come to experiencing our Heavenly homecoming on this side of the veil. Those of us who have been blessed to walk the road of adoption get to live, in a very small way, this spiritual reality.

That is why I am so passionate about adoption.
That is why my heart breaks when someone allows fear or finances to squelch the calling of God.
If God has called you to this, it is a privilege. He funds what He favors, and adoption is no exception. It is an unbelievable experience. It is eye-opening and heart-wrenching. It is watching the broken become whole, and marveling at the thought that God could use one broken person to heal another.

Yes, there is fear. Believe me I have dealt with my share of it as we prepare to bring home a three year old who has never had boundaries. I have been on my face, praying for the Holy Spirit to speak to her heart when she is unable to understand my words. But if it was easy, there would be no need for God...nothing to bring glory to Him. He continually reminds me of the broken state I was in when He called my name. Oh how I praise Him that He did not expect me to get it together and get cleaned up before He would be willing to adopt me into His family. If He can change me, He can change anyone. If He can heal me and bring purity to a previously impure heart, then He most certainly can and will take a little girl and conform her to His image and knit her heart securely to her family.

See the parallels. Be willing. Let God use you in ways that you thought were impossible. Be the hands and feet of Jesus to the 147 million orphans who so desperately need the love of an earthly father and mother. If you have been called, start walking forward and don't look back.

And when Jesus returns, bask in the familiarity of the moment.

From the depths of my full heart,





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.A Heart for Orphans.

But understand this is not about me.

Not about my family.

I am not trying to get you all on "my side".

This is about God and the truth of His Word. His Word very clearly lays out our responsibility to orphans.

His Word demands me to speak out about what I know to be true. Some of you already know the truth, but still are ignoring it. I pray that God would break your heart for what breaks His and keep you up at night thinking and praying over the orphans all over the world who have no voice. It is our obligation as Christians to defend them. It is part of the fruit of our faith talked about in James. Without it our faith is dead. Yes, it is that serious!

I have become soft here and let naysayers silence me for a bit. But I have come to realize that when I get to heaven God is not going to tell me Tiffany, you cared too much for the orphans, you talked too much about the fatherless, you made their stories too known, you welcomed too many into your home, and your heart was too big for orphans. I called you, as a believer to take care of these little ones, but you were too passionate. You made people uncomfortable by raising awareness of orphans and speaking boldly about what My Word says in regards to them.

So, I will silence the whispers of Satan and boldly proclaim the truth once again.

The Bible wasn't silent on this subject, Jesus wasn't silent on this subject, and I will not be silent either.

Some of you might still be blinded. I am praying specifically for you.

Please give me your ear for just 30 minutes. Listen to this while doing dishes or making dinner. It is worth your sacrifice of time. Steven Curtis Chapman and Mary Beth Chapman were on Focus on the Family sharing about adoption today. Just listen, please. And if you can honestly walk away from it saying that the Bible demands nothing of you in this area well that is between you and God, and you might as well stop reading my blog.

Here is the broadcast.

Not every family may be suited to adopt....I think most are. Love that quote!!

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice." Proverbs 31:8-9

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.I Could Have.

I could have written about a myriad of things tonight.

And although

sharing recipes

talking about home schooling

pondering the beautiful way God is unexpectedly bringing some special women along on this journey with me

sharing about the sweet photo shoot I had with a cutie little boy who has autism

or posting the adorable photos I took of Scotty today would have all been great.

I just had a feeling you all might be a little more interested in the fact that it's time.

It's time to move ahead in our adoption process because....

My Our water broke!!!!

That's right after 5 BUSY months our paper pregnancy is over!

Our dossier is out of our hands and will arrive in Virginia to AWAA tomorrow, and hopefully soon we will be DTE (dossier to Ethiopia)!! As soon as we are, we can get in the proverbial line to have our first court date assigned to us, and then we fly to Ethiopia, meet our sweet Jamesy and become his legal parents! We then fly home, wait a couple weeks and fly back over for his gotcha day and our forever family moment along with an embassy appointment. Then it is the moment we have been waiting for....all five of us together!!

Anyone wanna time the contractions?

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.Not Too Much to Say.

I don't have much to say. But have been emailed a few times asking where we are at now. Our dossier has been completed (yay!!) now for going on two weeks, but we are still waiting for God's timing as to having the finances needed to mail it into AWAA.

I'm not going to lie, this wait is hard. I cried 3 times this weekend when people asked me what was going on in our adoption process. {bleck} It's hard waking up in the morning knowing that the only thing holding up this process to get our beautiful boy home is money. It doesn't seem right. And yet I look at all of the figures that are requested, and I get it. I get why it has to be so expensive. It just really, really stinks.

I wish I could share a photo, here on my blog, of this boy who has captured our hearts. It was such a joy last weekend to be able to share his photo with people, and have {most} everyone respond so enthusiastically. There really is something so special about Jamesy. I cannot wait to see the plans that God has for him....for us.

I know God is refining us and teaching us during this wait. I know God is caring for Jamesy better than I ever, ever could. My heart just hurts. No one said this would be easy, and this is the road we have chosen, I get that.

And you know what I would do it all over again.

As soon as I am cheek to cheek holding Jamesy, the pieces will all fit together, and it will be so, so worth it.

Until then....

Waiting on God to act.


This is for you, Jamesy. May you always know that you were meant to be here with us. We love you, we want you, we are waiting for you.

Sissy has even dreamed about you now.

How strange it is for us not to be together. Soon.

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.No Orphans of God.

As soon as I feel deceived by the enemy to stop talking because of these whispers in my ear....

You're making people uncomfortable

You're coming off as crazy - a fanatic - a Christian nutcase

You're alienating yourself

You're coming off as "holier-than-thou"

Not everyone is called to adoption

No one wants to be friends with someone who is so dogmatic and passionate

God once again allows me to stumble upon something like this, and once again I am determined to speak up for those that cannot.



Honestly it is the least I can do right now, and until the world bears no more orphans I will not be deceived into being silent.

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Are All Christians Mandated to Adopt?

It is the question that I have been tip-toeing around for months. But I guess tonight I feel at peace enough to step on some toes. Please read the following with my grace-filled intentions. My only prayer in all of this is to be a voice for those that have none, and to be an instrument of Jesus Christ. If even one person has their eyes opened, than it is worth me putting my neck on the line. (These are not my words -although I agree with every single one of them, rather they are the words of a very godly, very wise mom who is knee deep in adoption ministry. Please check out her site here.)

Preface: I can't say what every person should or should not do, nor will I judge a person who doesn't supposedly "get it." That's wrong...

1) Scripture says that if we see someone in need and we have something that would fill their need yet DO NOT fill it, we do not have the love of God in us. [We have a family; orphans don't; we therefore should share with the orphan what we have that they do not.]

2) Scripture says that we must do to others what we would want done to us (or our own biological kids, for that matter). If we were orphaned, we would want to be adopted. Period. Not just visited or taken care of in a group home. Adopted into a family. And we would want the same for our biological kids.

3) Jesus didn't just come to visit us or care for us in our orphaned state; He came to lay down His life to adopt us. James 1:27 uses the phrase "visit orphans." The word "visit" there is the same word used for when Jesus came to "visit" us. He didn't leave us as orphans; He adopted us. He didn't see us in our orphaned state of despair and say, "Oh, poor things...I wish someone would do something about that." No, He adopted us. Changed our futures; our destinies; our families. We are to follow Him and do as He did.

4) How can we not? How can we look at the children in the world without families and say, 'No, not worth it.'? Our lives are not our own. We are called to pick up our crosses and follow Him. Not our own plans or desires or conveniences. Ain't nothin' about this whole "following Jesus" thing that is supposed to be convenient. Ask Jesus if the Cross was "convenient" or glamorous.

So, should every Christian adopt? Well, I like to turn that question on its head...What is a good reason a Christian SHOULDN'T adopt? Most reasons are self-focused if we are really honest with ourselves.

[Obviously, many people are not "fit" to adopt right now, but that is usually due to our own messes we've made with relationships, finances, life choices, etc, and not something put in our way stopping us from adopting.]


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.We Need Help.

These are not words that we have ever had a desire to write. Honestly, we don't want help. We want to do it all on our own. But we desperately need help. We have said for a long time that the Christian journey is not one that should be traveled alone. However, when it comes to money... don't ask. When it comes to hardship... don't ask. The journey we were referring to was "the good stuff." In other words, when God does something in your life that is exciting and dynamic, make sure you tell everyone you know.

Here's the problem: What do we do when we need help?

One of the stated goals of my wife and my journey through adoption is to expose to Believers, those who call on the God of all creation, to the reality that He will move heaven and earth for His orphans. That you don't have to take out a massive loan, or be incredibly wealthy to make this thing happen. That God will move you-to sacrifice everything. That He will move others-to sacrifice some. And in the midst of it all, no challenge: mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually will stand in the way of Him accomplishing what He wants.

The Roadblock: Our Pride.

Over and over we have told ourselves, “if He wants to, He will move people.” “If He sees fit, He will motivate others to help.” Here's the reality: That's true. However, our motivation for coming to this conclusion was not deep faith, but crippling pride. So we have committed to swallow our pride and boldly ask people to help. This is not easy for us, but neither was selling our "prized" possessions. The reality is there is a child in Ethiopia waiting for us to be the leaders we need to be, and lead the charge to bring him home. The Bible clearly states we are to bear each others burdens, but in order to give people opportunity to do so; we have to humble ourselves and share our burdens. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

So Here's the Deal:

We are going to boldly ask God to burden 300 people to give $100. Then, we are going to ask person after person if God has laid it on their heart to give. We are going to humble ourselves time after time until we hold in our arms that little life that our God and we value so highly. We are also going to try to be that $100 donor several times over for our adoption and eventually for someone else’s (perhaps yours!).

So, we humbly ask: Are you one that God has burdened? Are you one of the 300 privileged individuals God is using to bring our child home? If so, please give... not for us, not even for that precious child on the other side of the globe, but because you are called to Defend the poor and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and needy. Deliver the poor and needy; free them from the hand of the wicked. and because Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. We are not all called to adopt, but we are all called to do something. Maybe this is your something.

Maybe God isn’t calling your family to be a part of our journey financially, and that is okay. Would you still surround us in your prayers? If you feel led would you pass our need along to others – on your blog, face book, or any place else you desire to?

We are getting close to being able to send our dossier over to Ethiopia and that takes a lot of money – a lot, a lot. We also will have a program fee due at this time, as well as future financial needs of airplane tickets (we have to travel twice), hotel stays, embassy fees, visas etc. We know that this amount of money cannot be raised in our own strength or through selling our own stuff. We’ve tried. To think about the amount of money that is still needed is overwhelming to us, but it’s not to the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills! We long through this fund raising process for God to receive the glory and for this journey to scream His name.

So, we are going to do it.

We are going to ask for help.

We think this pleases God.

Will you please help with the remainder of our financial needs?

Are you one of the 300 people who God will use to give $100?

Maybe you are not, but maybe you have a little that you want to give. God blesses every gift no matter the amount. We have seen that.

Please prayerfully consider whether or not you are part of our journey to bring our baby home for the glory of God. 100% of all donations will be used to fund our adoption. You can use our chip-in on the right hand side of my blog, or you can email at amomentcherished(at)gmail(dot)com for our address if you prefer to go that route.

Maybe God allows adoption to cost so much so that we would truly rely on Him and His moving the body of Christ to be partners in our journey.

With grateful and humble hearts,
Jim & Tiffany


PS If you want to read our journey from my husband's point of view, click here and subscribe to his blog. It's pretty great. {grin}
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What is an Orphan?

I never know what will be in my inbox. Almost always I awaken to several emails. Most of them come as a result of this blog, and lately most of them have to do with our adoption. I have gotten some really thought-provoking questions lately.

And I like those.

They make me think.

They make me search out the Bible.

They make me inspect my heart and motives.

Here is a portion of an email that I woke up to a few weeks back. I thought maybe some of my other readers have been curious about this as well.

I've been confused by your referring to orphans, but then it seems they have a living mother. I'm assuming there's a culture thing I have no clue about there, so I was just wondering why they need to be in an orphanage if their parents are living.

(I believe this email was referring to several of the links I have published lately to other adoptive families' sites and videos. Some of them have been able to meet their baby's birth mommy.)

First let me make this disclaimer; I am not a biblical scholar. I am not an expert in any field whatsoever. But God is doing the biggest work in my life that He has done to date - outside of my salvation. I am beyond passionate about his plea in James 1:27.

Now that my eyes have been opened, I take this mandate very seriously. I am ashamed for the years that I just glanced over that verse (James 1:27) in the Bible. The whole time thinking that wasn't for me, that wasn't my calling. It had nothing to do with me. I thought it was someone else's call, but now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is mine, and it is yours - if you are a true believer. Not adoption - necessarily - don't misunderstand me. But ALL believers have been called to carry out and respond to James 1:27. As of late, I have studied that verse inside and out, as well as other passages that have to do with orphans. (I do understand that James 1:27 is more than about orphans, and I am equally as concerned about widows and keeping oneself unstained from the world. I have much, much more to say on all of that at a later time.) The following is what I have learned about orphans from God's perspective.

From my understanding of the Bible, the Bible defines an orphan in its most simplistic form as "fatherless".

Strong’s Concordance suggests bereaved, fatherless, and comfortless as ideas inherent in the word “orphans” or “fatherless.”

So if an orphan is "fatherless", what does the Bible say about them....and our role with them?

Here are some passages that talks of the "fatherless". I am sure I missed a few.

Hosea 14:3 Asshur shall not save us; we will not ride upon horses: neither will we say any more to the work of our hands, Ye are our gods: for in thee the fatherless findeth mercy.

Psalm 68:5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

Psalm 10:14 But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless.

Deuteronomy 10:18 He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

Psalm 10:18 to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.

Exodus 22:24 and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.

Isaiah 10:1-3
Woe to those who decree iniquitous decrees,
and the writers who keep writing oppression,
to turn aside the needy from justice
and to rob the poor of my people of their right,
that widows may be their spoil,
and that they may make the fatherless their prey!
What will you do on the day of punishment,
in the ruin that will come from afar?
To whom will you flee for help,
and where will you leave your wealth?

Malachi 3:5 Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages,the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the LORD of hosts.

Jeremiah 5:28-29
they have grown fat and sleek. They know no bounds in deeds of evil; they judge not with justice the cause of the fatherless, to make it prosper, and they do not defend the rights of the needy. Shall I not punish them for these things?
declares the LORD, and shall I not avenge myself on a nation such as this?"

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Deuteronomy 14:29 And the Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do.

Psalm 82:3 Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.

Deuteronomy 24:17 You shall not pervert the justice due to the sojourner or to the fatherless, or take a widow’s garment in pledge.

Proverbs 23:10 Do not move an ancient landmark or enter the fields of the fatherless,

Exodus 22:22 You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.

Zechariah 7:10 do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.

Jeremiah 22:3 do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner,or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.

Job 29:12-13 because I delivered the poor who cried for help,and the fatherless who had none to help him. The blessing of him who was about to perish came upon me,and I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy.

Job 6:27 You would even cast lots over the fatherless, and bargain over your friend.

Ezekiel 22:7 Father and mother are treated with contempt in you; the sojourner suffers extortion in your midst; the fatherless and the widow are wronged in you.

Job 24:3 They drive away the donkey of the fatherless; they take the widow’s ox for a pledge.

Psalm 94:6 They kill the widow and the sojourner, and murder the fatherless;

Isaiah 1:23 Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves. Everyone loves a bribe and runs after gifts. They do not bring justice to the fatherless, and the widow’s cause does not come to them.

Deuteronomy 27:19 Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow. And all the people shall say, 'Amen.

Lamentations 5:3 We have become orphans, fatherless;our mothers are like widows.


Psalm 10:14 sums up God's feeling on the fatherless to me. But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.


It seems as though the quality of one’s devotion to God is measured by how one treats the widow and the orphan.

After researching what an orphan is, according to the Bible, and then many verses that talked about them, I came to two conclusions that I believe we as believers are commanded to obey when it comes to these "fatherless":

1 We are to be extremely careful that we do not mistreat them.

2 We are to find opportunities to help them.

How that plays out in your life may look and feel very different than how it plays out in mine, but that does not excuse either one of us to ignore what God has put before us. I believe this must play a role somehow and in someway in every single believer's life. (Let me clearly state that I do not believe that God loves the orphans in Ethiopia best. I have simply lost my heart in Ethiopia.)

I have so much more to put into this post. I have statistics from Ethiopia about the women that are giving birth to these babies in the orphanages. It makes my stomach turn, but this has gotten too long as it is and I fear that I have lost most of you.

I really, really pray and hope that you can see my heart here. I believe my heart is just a very mild reflection of God's. I truly believe God's heart is for orphans. I don't write all of this to be judgmental. I am only beginning to skim the surface when it comes to understanding my role in all of this myself. I just wish someone would have written to me or shared with me about this years ago. So I am hoping someone who reads this will be in that same boat.I think God has big plans for this blog and for my newly found vigor to advocate for His orphans.I am believing that until I am persuaded else wise.

In that same email I referenced above, I was also encouraged to share real needs of orphans that I have learned about. I attempted to share a very real need for formula right here yesterday. My husband has been working very, very hard to secure some exciting things on that front. He was on the phone until after 11 last night, and neither of us could sleep as we were so giddy with excitement. Boy has our world, our perspective changed. I feel like such a different person!

I have been praying over what else I can do about that need with the formula.

How about you?

(If you have any questions about orphan care, James 1:27, adoption or the likes. Please feel free to email me. I will either email you back or publish my answer in a post - or both!)
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