A Moment Cherished: paper pregnant

I am beginning to understand the similarities between growing a baby in my uterus and growing a baby in my heart. Here are some of my findings.

While paper pregnant I eat, sleep, breathe baby just like I did when pregnant with my other two.

I am having strange dreams just like I had in my other pregnancies.

I am emotional. Yup, just like before.

I am having trouble sleeping. Seeing a pattern?

I ooh and aah over every baby I encounter.

I daydream about my baby's face and what he is like.

I am having weird cravings, and I even gained a bit of weight. Ug.

The wait seems eternal.

I am nervous and excited as I anticipate what it will be like to have my baby in my arms.

I have felt nauseated.

I have had mood swings.

I feel as if I am not quite here.

I worry about my baby's safety.

I try to imagine what the future holds for our family - for this new baby.

I love my baby before ever seeing or knowing his face.

It's all very much the same - oddly enough. Scary. Exciting. New.

We are so very close to submitting the paper work to initiate our home study and our {gulp} big check. We are praying to be able to do so on Friday, after Jim's pay check clears. It will make things tight for us for the remainder of the month, but I think we can do it. I will make the big announcement then if we do. At that point we wait to have our home study appointments scheduled - there should be three I believe. Then once that is done and our home study passes we tie up some loose ends with our dossier and mail everything off to Ethiopia. (With a LOT of money.) Then we sit and wait....

God is so good and so faithful. We have seen some amazing financial provisions this week. I cannot look too far ahead at the big picture of what is left to pay, but I continue to pray and believe that God will provide as we continue to be faithful with what He gives us.

Thanks for your prayers, your emails, your support, your love.

Wow.

Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go till you are…

I will tell the world
I will tell them where I’ve been
I will keep my word
I will tell them