.When God Dreams for You.

Sometimes following God and taking a risk leads to dreams that were buried in my heart. Dreams I didn't even know existed until they were fulfilled. Dreams I couldn't know existed because they were too big to wrap my thoughts around. A dream too big to fulfill without God's hand working out all of the details.

That's how God designed my family.

My dream for my family was very vanilla - plain, typical, bland, ordinary, comfortable, safe - black and white errr....maybe just white {grin}.

In this new dream - the crazy beautiful one that God planted in my heart - I have learned that I can love children that I did not birth just as fiercly as I love the children that I did birth. And that feels pretty amazing knowing only God can create something as beautiful as that.

I have learned that God loves to give good gifts, and that He uses my children to shadow His love for me.

I have learned that the blood flowing through our veins, and DNA, or matching eyes and smiles are not what binds us as a family. It really is love. Love that Jesus has for me, overflowing into, and then out of, my heart and blanketing their hearts.

Love really is thicker than blood and genetics and family trees. We are all covered by His blood - His tangible LOVE - and  we are all made in His image, anyway. We all match in some way, because we all mirror parts of our Creator. We all look the same inside, and the outside merely brings beauty and diversity into our home. A reflection of the creativity and masterpiece of our Creator.

God's dream has opened my eyes to the extraordinary way He can push an ordinary family to love BIG and deep and wide - through the way He loves us BIG and deep and wide.

When it comes to redemption it takes time. Time to heal and bind up hearts. Time to move forward and gather courage. And that time? It is a gift - a gift to be treasured and nurtured and protected.

This new dream, this one that is piecing my family together has taught me to slow and to breathe and to let go. Let go of the expectations of others, let go of  the expectations of myself. Let go of the standards that keep me too busy, and embrace this messy season more completely by being present in the mess and not consumed by it.

When I look at these portraits I don't see black and white.  I am not colorblind, though. I recognize and celebrate our beautiful colors, but they are not what stands out to me. Some of us have an Ethiopian heritage, some of us do not, some of us have scarred hearts and hidden hurts, all of us have sin and hurts, fears and lies that Jesus came to redeem and erase. But when I look at these photos my heart nearly bursts with joy, because all I see is the people I love most in all of this world. The people I would go to death for. The people that have seen me at my worst and at my best and consistently love me. The man that I have loved since I was just fifteen years old. The four stunning children that have all been born to me in the same way -  through painful labor and anguish and prayer.

When I look at these photos I see one thing alone - a great big dream that only God could have dreamed when He put us together and made us FAMILY.

When I look at these photos, all I see is my family.

*All photos captured by Red Balloon photography.

.Evolution of the Hair.

It's no secret. We are obsessed with this boy's hair. I had spent countless hours researching how to care for it, style it, maintain it, etc. before bringing Jamesy home. And then I researched again after bringing him home, as I continued to learn more about his texture, culture, and what was and wasn't working for his beautiful curls. Hair is a big deal in black culture and in Ethiopia. Therefore, Jamesy's hair is now a big deal to us.

I wanted to share with you in photos the evolution of his hair throughout this past year. I know I have been contacted quite a bit by adoptive families about Jamesy's hair routine/care, and I have only been able to keep up with a few emails. So, now is your chance, if you have a question that you think I may be able to answer, leave it in the comments. I wrote a post here, but things have changed a bit as I learn more and more of what works for Jamesy's hair type (3c if you are wondering, except for a patch in that back which is 4b). So if there is interest (I don't want to write a post and bore the majority of my readers), I would love to write another post on what is working now after a year of trial and error. Just shoot me your questions.

Here is the evolution of the hair.

His hair in January when we first met him.

His hair in March when we picked him up. (It had been cut once since we had seen him last. It has not been cut since!)

First time with product in his hair!

One month home.

Summer sunshine was great for his hair growth!

Mommy practicing parts.

The sleep cap made it's presence in Jamesy's hair routine.

First twist out 'Fro.

Working on elongating his curls with some new product.

Rocking the "wash n' go".

Jamesy right after a cowash. The only time he ever gets his curls combed through is during a cowash, which happens about once a week. We are only 'pooing about once a month this winter.

Mommy finally perfected twisted locks and found a great locking cream!

More twisted locks - my current favorite style for Jamesy. I only wish they lasted longer than a week. (Need to teach the white people in his life not to touch them or rub them! Ha!)

Before his morning routine AKA bed head.

Faux 'Fro Hawk.

What happens when he sleeps in a hawk!

 And that the evolution of Jamesy's hair over this past year. I cannot wait to see where this next year takes his hair. We are thinking cornrows are in his near future!

.Not A Lot of Words.

Not a lot of words today, because I am on day three of suffering with a pinched nerve. I cannot type very long with this before needing a break. I am grateful for my husband these past three days. He has taken care of EVERYTHING - from me, the children, the house, meals, church etc.

He also took Scotty to the ER late last night, as he has been very ill. Scotty is doing better today, and we are praying that what seems to be a very nasty virus will run its course and get out of our house.



Taken last night. We were trying to get a good photo of the welts and rash breaking out all over Scotty, so that we could get advice from Jim's Mom. With his 104 degree fever and weird rash/welts the hospital was a must.

But he is looking much better today and getting lots of snuggle time.



He is truly one of the sweetest boys. Jim said he charmed all of the hospital staff last night, and insisted on bringing a sticker home for his big sister.



I mentioned that I had been re-researching Jamesy's hair care as we attempt to grow it out. Jim envisions Jamesy's hair looking like the little brown girl's hair in the photo someday.





We have a little way to go. But he is so cute!



The boys wearing Jamesy's sleep caps.



We finally have a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament for Scotty. Ha!



We've been homeschooling (love her fashion sense!).



Scotty has developed a great love for play-doh, and enjoys his "school time".





We have had a lot of late nights with this little man. This was taken one night after I raced up the stairs to Jamesy's screams. I ran into his room, and immediately Jamesy stopped screaming, grinned at me, shook his finger at me and said "no, nigh, nigh, no nigh, nigh." Then he lifted his arms up to be picked up. He got what he wanted.



I am excited to have crafted (before my pinched nerve) Thanksgiving outfits for the children. (Full photo to come). No, the boys did not get pants. {grin}



And that's all I can type for now. Happy Monday!