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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

.So Much to Do.

We board a plane to Ethiopia in just 10 days, and there is so much to do. Everywhere I look there is another project to do, another suitcase to pack, another item to check off the list, another child to hug and kiss and hold in hopes that the extra loving will last until we are home and united under one roof again. On top of that I am finishing up a bedroom for our teenage son who may or may not come home and answering the bazillion of questions my littles have about their big brother Habi.

Somehow it will all get done. Or else it won't. But it will be okay.

I am eager to serve in Ethiopia for 11 days. I cannot wait to see what God has to teach me and to show me, and how He plans to grow our entire team on this trip. My husband has been given the gift of a lifetime to be able to preach in the city dump of Korah to the lepers and AIDS community that live there. My heart is full to even think that God would answer his prayer in this way. And of course I am anticipating Habi's embassy appointment on July 2. In preparing for that day, my mind has been drifting back to our first trip to Ethiopia in January 2011. It was the trip that we took to meet our son, Jamesy, and stand before a judge in court promising to parent him, love him, protect and cherish him. And now, a year and a half later, I am promising to do the same for a child whom has waited much longer than 15 months for a family - his wait has been 15 years. In January of 2011 I didn't know what God was going to do when he softened my heart towards a little boy on the streets of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. I didn't know that, even a year and a half ago, He was beginning to weave our family together in a strange and remarkable way. When Jim and I said "yes" to adoption in the Spring of 2010 we did not realize that that would be God's way to begin opening our hearts to so much more than "a healthy infant as young as possible" as we first requested and boxed God in with our adoption.

I am walking through my days overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. There are moments of fear as I wonder what we are truly doing, and then moments of excitement as I anticipate the future God is writing for our family. There are moments of sadness as I realize that some of these carefree days with just three littles underfoot may be coming to an end. Things will be different with a teenage boy in our home, and change, as wonderful and sought after as this change is, always battles my insecurities. Today I battled fear, and I know that fear does not come from God. I sought counsel from a wise friend, I meditated on Truth in God's Word, and I blasted praise music as I cleaned and folded laundry. Slowly and surely, the Spirit took my focus off of those fears and turned my eyes back to the Author and the Finisher of this story. As much as my heart yearns for Habi to finish growing up in our home, and as much as I know that he is and will forever be our son - we need no court decree or document to claim him as our own - I also know that God's plan could look different than even how we anticipate it is going to look. But for now, I am at complete peace in doing what God has asked us to do in this moment. And regardless of the verdict on July 2, He has asked us to pursue Habi, to defend him, and to step in as his Dad and Mama. So we do exactly this.

I continue to beg you for prayer and support. This story is not about Jim and I and Habi. It's about God being glorified and His kingdom being expanded. I believe He wants to write many, many characters into this story, and have us all point back to Him. Thank you for doing this with us, and for not leaving us to try this alone. Thank you for the prayer, the encouragement, and the financial sacrifices that so many of you have made. As of today, we have paid the initial fee to our agency, the visa fee, the passport fee, the birth certificate fee, the SEVIS application fee, an almost complete wardrobe, and it appears that we have enough money for Habi's plane ticket home (we will wait for the interview verdict before we book that). Just typing this reduces me to tears. I am so inspired by your outpouring of love. The easy thing to do in this case, would have been to just take out a loan and try to do this on our own. But I believe we would be missing out on something BIG that God has for us to learn and to see, and we would be excluding people from this story. People whom God very much wants to write into this story. We cannot, and are choosing not to do, this on our own. So we swallow that big lump of pride and we continue to plead for help. We are now anticipating that God will provide the remainder of the agency fee, tuition, books, and the sport fee for this school year, as well as gas to and from a school that is an hour from our home. I know God's got this. He has brought us so far and moved so many mountains for this boy!

A recent photo taken in Ethiopia, while he is staying with a friend of ours.


Let's pray Habi home! I am trying to figure out how to organize an official {virtual} prayer meeting for July 1 (in America)/2 (in Ethiopia). Does anyone want to help me with that?


Dawn said...

Praying for your family and Habi. Keep it up, I love following this journey. So excited for your trip to Ethiopia!

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