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Monday, February 20, 2012

.Recognizing Grace.

God gave me many beauitful moments this past week. Late one night, Jim and I were snuggled on the couch with Jamesy (a pretty typical scene here), and Jamesy started talking! Only a few words, most probably would have missed them, but we celebrated and laughed and thanked God. Jamesy is almost completely non-verbal. We do not not know why. It could be because of his SOD, or have something to do with English being his second language, or he could have hearing impairments (we are still trying to get a good test for that), or his language could be behind because of his Epilepsy. Regardless, we basked in his few words the other night.

Jim and I got some alone moments this past weekend. We have been following our attachment plan with Jamesy for a few weeks shy of a year. We have gone on one two hour date this November, and had left Jamesy twice for a few hours during his nap. It was finally time to see if our hard work had paid off, and take a much needed weekend alone. It was wonderful, and Jamesy did wonderfully with my parents. (More of my thoughts on our attachment plan after one year to come.)

The Momentous Moment I am going to from this past week, though, is receiving Cadi's platelet count on Friday. It had been a month since she was tested. Last month she was at 69K. On Friday, Cadi was at 176K! This is back in the normal range. She does not have to be tested again for another month to be certain she is in remission. I wish I could say that I was strong and my faith was strong through this whole journey with Cadi's ITP, or that I understand why God allowed it. However, that is not true. There were some moments that I was strong, and I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit, as Comforter in such huge ways, and there were other moments that I was weak. The Sunday we came home from church, after Cadi had been acting strange and tired, we found a huge bruise on her hip. Huge doesn't really describe it. It was black and like nothing I had ever seen before, and it didn't hurt her. Jim and I both freaked out. We both knew enough of the signs of  Leukemia, and Cadi had several - nose bleeds, tiredness, pale color, being recently sick with fever, extreme and unexplained bruising, leg pains, etc. That Sunday all of the symptoms finally came together and made us panic. I think, in that moment, we were both sure of what we were facing. We called both of our mothers (who are in the medical field), we heard the fear in their voices, and ultimately decided we had to get Cadi to the ER for a blood test.

Most of the rest of this story I have shared. God has been good. Throughout it all Jim and I stood side-by-side hand in hand. I am proud of our marriage. I remember Jim driving to the ER, my hand on his leg, and quiet tears on both of our cheeks, we looked at each other and out loud promised that no matter what we found out, no matter what the future held, we would not let this come between us or destroy our marriage. It sounds silly and melodramatic, but we really thought we were facing a life-threatening illness for Cadi. And we had seen too many marriages destroyed in this way. Standing here on almost the other side, I am so thankful that God gave us that moment, that clarity, that resolve. We have always had a strong marriage, but this experience has cemented our hearts as one even more. God's loving kindness can be seen even in this.

So perhaps that is part of why God allowed our family to walk through these past four months. Sometimes those Momentous Moments come disguised as pain and trials, but God's grace is always there waiting to be realized. We just have to look for it and recognize it and accept it.


This is a Momentous Monday post. To learn more go here, and please feel free to link up with us right below!)


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