.A Home for Habi.

Jim and I have both taken time to discuss and pray over this post, and yet I still sit here with butterflies in my stomach. It's the whole fear of man thing again, threatening to choke me. It's fear of what people will say about us taking on something so much bigger than us - so beyond our means. I lived my life cautiously, calculated, and safely for many years. I honestly lived a watered-down version of a follower of Jesus. I don't want that anymore. I want to be all in, completely sold out to my Savior. So that brings me to this post.



As I mentioned on Thursday we have been trying to adopt Habi for a long time now. The door for adoption was permanently closed this week, but we cannot give up this fight just yet. Jim and I have decided to pursue a F-1 student visa for Habi. Because of a number of circumstances we have to hire an outside agency. We got the quote yesterday and panic set in. When we add that to what will be his tuition and school/sport fees next year (he will be attending a private Christian school), a plane ticket, a wardrobe (one that fits into a private school's dress code at that) and necessities for a boy who has neither, along with the actual visa fees we come up with a number around $15,000 - $20,000. And that scares me. It's like another adoption without the luxury of time on our side. (We are praying to have this accomplished by early July - about 6 weeks.)

Jim and I talked last night about areas that we can sacrifice in our family. We are cancelling cable and phone on Monday and going down to the basic $20 Internet. We will be scrimping in every area that we can. I am searching my home for things that we can sell. We are also trying to throw together a quick t-shirt fundraiser. I feel simultaneously overwhelmed, and oddly at peace. I know without a doubt God is still asking us to fight for Habi. Whether Habi is granted the visa or not, I know that God is asking us to close our eyes and jump - taking a risk and trust that God is in control of the details. Perhaps it is the journey that He needs us to walk, whether the ending is what we pray for or not.

So we do that.

But this is not really about our family, and honestly, this is not about sweet Habi either. This is about bringing glory to God, and I want that so much. In wanting that I know that I cannot hold this situation in my clutched fist. I have to open up and let people in, however God desires that to happen. We feel as if God desires for us to share this burden with other brothers and sisters. Here is what we need God to provide:

1. A host of people committed to praying from now until that visa interview. We need prayer for finances, for Habi as he prepares for the interview, for the agency that we are working with - that they will be able to quickly gather a birth certificate, passport, and secure an interview before we get there in July or while we are there. I am also asking for prayer for the embassy consulate who will interview Habi - that even now God would begin to work in this person's heart. Above all please pray that God is glorified and that His will is done, even if that means Habi is denied the visa.
2. Clothing for Habi - size 27 inch waist 29 inch length pants (or size 16 boys). Size small men's shirts. Size 7.5 men's shoes, sneakers, flip-flops, etc. I have picked up clothing at various thrift stores for Habi, but I have mostly found winter clothing. He will need summer clothes and dress clothes for school - khakis, polos, button-downs, etc.
3. Lastly money for all of the things that I mentioned in this post. We cannot financially do this on our own with just Jim's salary. Please do not feel pressured to give. This is only for people who feel led to help in this way. I so do not want to come across as pressuring anyone for money, and I understand not everyone that reads this has the means to give. I also want to clearly state again, that even after paying a significant amount of money (money we cannot get back)  - Habi could be denied the visa. We are taking a risk and going on faith here. Please do not give any money if you are not comfortable doing so. If you do feel led to give please understand that every single dollar helps.

For now I am going to put a chip-in on this post. When we get the t-shirt fundraiser ready I will post that. Thank you so much for all of the support and encouragement you have given to me here. You have been a huge blessing as our family has walked through some crazy times. Thank you for giving me grace with this post.

Dear Habi,
Dad and Mama love you. You have taught us so much about courage and love and the importance of family. Habi, you have opened my eyes to a world outside of myself. We continue to seek God in bringing you home. God has a great, big, plan for your life. I cannot wait to see it unfold, and I pray that we get to be a part of it. I love you to Ethiopia and back. Always in my heart.
Love, Mama