.Finding Rest.

The fear is creeping in again. I rock him, and I feel his body stiffen and refuse my touch. It started the night we came home from the children's hospital, and then it accelerated this weekend after his blood draw.

It hurts watching him battle.

He is trying a new self soothing destructive behavior. Every time we lay him down he bangs his sweet little head, over, and over.

Yesterday I felt such frustration as I reached for him and rocked him and tried to make him understand that there is no need for that anymore. Daddy and I can comfort you now. I whispered to my precious third child. My tears slipped over the contours of my cheeks and mingled in his soft curls. It was then that my heart heard His whispers.

But daughter, you have been doing the very same thing that your son is doing right now. Each night you go to bed, and I offer you My comfort, My peace. My arms reach out for you, and you stiffen and turn away. You mentally list your worries and fears. Over and over you shuffle through them in your mind imagining scenarios that could make life situations better, and in a most destructive way imagining terrible scenarios that could be.

There is no need for that anymore. You have been redeemed. You are no longer alone.

Have you not heard me tell you before how to find rest? Let me invite you again.

Come to me, [Tiffany] who is weary and carries heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your soul. (Matthew 11:28-29)

Last night we found rest.

Jamesy snug in the arms of his Mama, and both Mama and Jamesy snug in the arms of Jesus.



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