.Hope for the Hurting Marriages.

This was anonymously emailed to me in response to Wednesday's post with permission for me to post it here. I just have to share another amazing marriage testimony and words of hope. I pray this truly brings hope and encouragement to many women today.

I have a few random thoughts here. I have been married for several years. I understand JUST exactly what this reader is talking about. The first five years of our marriage my husband did not live for the Lord either. There is hope. I am not suggesting that the hope lies in your husband changing some day, because I do not know the plan God has for you. But I do know God has a plan. I know that God can be trusted. I know that you are not alone. God sees you when you are crying into your pillow at night. He does see your hurt. Satan would have you to despair and feel that you are isolated in this problem. But God would have you to lift your eyes to him. Hide in His wings beautiful sister-in-Christ there IS pure love there and strength, and joy. Even in the midst of this darkness that you are walking through, there is joy. My sweetest deepest times in prayer came from my darkest days. Sometimes I put my hand on the Bible before I begin reading and pray "Real life comes by reading the Word..this is real life..this is life!"

I know I am not coming right out and answering your questions on what you are to do. What I am saying is that the answer is internal. Submit your heart to God, give HIM every little thing and then submitting to your husband will not be an issue. See, submitting is hard when you believe your husband holds your future in his hands by the decisions he makes, lift your eyes higher than that. You can say "Yes" to your husband easily if you have come to a place where you have said "Yes" in your heart to God first. It is the daily AMEN, the saying in the secret place of your heart "Yes Lord, whatever happens today, I receive it, Yes LORD, I am okay because I trust You Lord" Pray in such a way that you lay your husband down at Jesus feet, I mean mentally, by faith, give your marriage to God and trust the Lord what He wants the next chapter to be. "If my husband NEVER lives for You, Still I will trust You LORD, my identity is in You LORD, my peace is in YOU LORD, my hope is wrapped up in YOU LORD, ONLY You!" Keep praying that and I promise you will find freedom, beautiful wonderful freedom.

Circumstances, criticisms, nothing can touch you because as Tiffany says you will be living for an audience of one. I believe true love comes from experiencing God's grace and love in your own life and then it spills out into the lives of others. Spend your time soaking up God's grace, when the day is done the other "blondes" all around you will be of no concern, your price will be FAR above rubies if your heart is following after God. What I am suggesting here is that the joy and security that can be found in a life that is totally surrendered to the Lord is a deeper security than what family or husband can give. "Let us make brave resolutions to be wholly His" -Fenelon. Please do not be angry at me for writing that, wanting your husband to be faithful to you and to love you is not a wrong thing, I am not making light of your hurt. I am only saying from experience that the ONLY thing you can do in a situation like this is run to the God who sees.

Okay I am done rambling, I hope this helped in a small way. My heart hurts for you I wish I could hug you. Here are a few practical things that might help:

1) How to act right when you spouse acts wrong by Leslie Vernick she is a wonderful Godly counselor and easy to read with very practical wisdom.

2) The power of a praying wife by StormieOmartian I have been praying through her prayers for years and they have helped my prayer life in so so many ways.

3) I started a journal where I listed every single thing my husband did well. If he did the slightest nice thing, a touch, a smile, ANYTHING it went in that book. Every picture that I liked of him went in that journal. Now all these years later I still read through and record things he is doing. It is possible to intentionally look for the good and to find it even when it seems like all hope is lost. It reminds me of Moses telling the Israelites over and over again (they kept forgetting) all the wonderful things God had done. I like to pray back to God "Thank you that my husband did this.. thank you that he did the dishes, or held my hand or....." You might be thinking right now that there is NOTHING to write, but ask the Lord to show you and make yourself look really really hard. Satan would LOVE for us to keep a record of wrong instead and store up all the hurts and feed the anger until it develops deep deep bitterness and ruins us. This journal was my personal anti-bitterness movement and it rocked my world. It trained me to walk through my days with eyes wide open to even the smallest blessing.

4) Memorize scripture, listen to hymns, read the psalms FILL YOUR MIND WITH TRUTH."I love you, Lord: You are my strength." Psalm 18:1

Tiffany did such a great job answering this I am so glad that you reached out to her, she is a dear soul, thank you for being brave enough to reach out for help.