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Friday, April 23, 2010

.In Response.

Wow. I loved the discussion that followed yesterday's article. I don't usually write with the thought of receiving comments. But yesterday I was hoping to get feedback, and feedback I got! {grin} I am working on a follow up post that I will publish sometime next week. Your comments were thought provoking and brought to light some things that I left out. I know I have not typically blogged so boldly on controversial subjects, and some of you may be uncomfortable with the unveiling of this side of me. However, God has been convicting me lately to do so. I cannot hide behind my "good girl" veneer always. It is amazing how God is clearly making known to me that my tiny blog is a ministry. It is a ministry that I take seriously. If you did not get a chance to read here yesterday, I would love it if you would take a few moments to do so, and then share with us your thoughts. If you have been lurking, now would be a good time to de-lurk! {wink}


I want to make it very clear that I enjoy feedback - whether we are like-minded or not, whether you strongly oppose choices I make, or agree with me, or fall somewhere in the middle. I appreciate honesty. However, I do not appreciate snarky comments. Rudeness is inappropriate. The anonymous commenters are welcome to join in the discussion. I do prefer if an anonymous commenter leaves her name as it is more personal. My husband, in his comment yesterday, was only referring to one anonymous comment that was left. I did not delete the comment out of respect for that person and her opinion. However, if I need to delete an inappropriate comment, I will. The other anonymous comments were fine and appropriate and appreciated. I think that is all I have to say about that. I really do not want to stir up dissension.


I am going to get out of here now. I have two little children waiting to see what kind of sunny day we can etch into their childhood.


Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and the needy. Proverbs 31:8-9

I would love it if you stick around. Don't miss a thing - click here!


Anonymous said...

It seems to me that with this post you LIKE to stir up "dissension". You get more comments, more hits to your blog. The "good girl" veneer had me rolling on the floor.
And snarky! *snort*

Does that count?

Anonymous said...

"Cynicism is not realistic and tough. It's unrealistic and kind of cowardly because it means you don't have to try."

Peggy Noonan

California Coates said...

Am I missing something? Why is this issue controversial? Shouldn't we be training our children to deal with sin the same way as we do? To flee immorality. The language that Paul uses in 2 Timothy 2:22 is very strong language and it was Jesus who said If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell.

He also said but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

We don't purposely place ourselves in a battle to sin why would we place children? We should be guarding our childrens hearts as we do our own.

Children don't rebel because they are "sheltered" they rebel because they don't understand the reality of their sin against a holy God and how to deal with it. It's our job to train them and shepherd their hearts.

It takes a real women of integrity to live counter-cultural to this world and an even bigger women to raise her children that way. Way to go Tiffany. God calls our children to the same standard as us. You are the one accountable before God for your children. I don't think God is going to be upset with you that you aren't exposing your children to enough sin.

Your just preparing them for the battle!

P.S. I love how your protector chimed in!

Mich said...

As the mother of a thirteen and eleven year old, I say Preach on sister! I know you read my blog every now an again, so i know you know what I have been up against lately. Don't apologize. More moms need to stand up and protect their little ones. It only gets harder the older they get.

Great post.

Barbie said...

I a little behind in reading my blogs and just now catching up. I really appreciate your post yesterday. I have 4 children - 19, 16, 9 and 6. I've done a much better job protecting the 1st two than the last two. I think I've gotten lazy. I do allow my children to watch TV, probably too much, but only selected stations. I must be doing something right though. My 19 year old daughter has yet to have a boyfriend and both my 19 year old daughter and her 16 year old brother have taken vows of purity. I am so very proud and so very thankful that even in my weaknesses in this area, God has proven Himself strong. I really appreciate YOU and your desire for the innocence of our children. I do believe we have a moral responsibility here. Blessings!

Grace Wheeler said...

Alright, Tiffany, I'll come clean...I was a lurker yesterday :D But since you called me out ;) I'll speak up now...

I'm with you...I'm all for sheltering my kiddos. We are already "overly" protective in what our little girl wears...You're right, there is so much inappropriate clothing that is just giggled at because it's "cute".

By dressing Liberty modestly now, we are teaching her that she is **bought at a price, and that she should honor God with her body**...nothing else matters. And by teaching her, we are teaching her 3 older brothers too.

In other means of sheltering, we pretty much "do it all"...and we get judged often for being "legalistic"...but in reality, we are just striving for righteous living.

We don't shake our fingers at other Christians who raise their children differently than us, but if an opportunity arrives to share our convictions, we do!

***For us the key is not operating out of fear, but out of love. We love our children and want to protect them from certain things--we are their stewards.

We do not "fear" that our sheltering will cause them to rebel. We do not "fear" that they will grow bitter for not being able to wear this or watch that.

We fear the Lord. We answer to Him, not others. And so, we obey Him and His word.

He has led us to "shelter", and so we obedience and in love!

bbcd mama said...

What is it with all the anonymous-ness lately? I don't get it.

I love that picture of your little girl, though.

Anonymous said...

Tiffany, I stumbled upon your blog yesterday and was one of the anonymous people, but I did leave a 2nd comment with my name :)
I have read over several of your past posts and have just been captivated by your words! I've never been too much into blogging before but I thinking about creating one more and more. I really enjoy reading others opinions on different subjects and I enjoy sharing my opinion, whether it be agreeing or disagreeing. There have been times when my perspective on things has changed due to reading others reasonings and thoughts. I think you do a wonderful job.
- Alida

Anonymous said...

For the record, not all anonymous comments are going to be negative. I loved the post from yesterday. This was a topic that I have never read about nor heard discussed until now. But, I'm glad to know threre are other parents trying hard to preserve their child's innocence. All around me (and my kids) there are kids dressed like they are 21 ready for a night out at the clubs...not to mention seeing 8 and 9 yr olds with makeup on and carrying their own cellphone. Why do parents want to see their kids acting and looking like adults so soon?? I just dont get that. Thank you for writing on this topic. Very interesting. :)

Nutty Mom said...

Oh I am totally with you on all this. I've been waiting for a quiet time that I could really sit down and write a response. Our kids are only 4mos, 20 mos, and 34mos, but already we've been told we're overprotecting them. I don't see how that's possible to overprotect them at such a young age. My parents laugh at me when I say the girls aren't allowed to watch most all of the disney movies about princesses. Not because of the princess aspect, but because each one has quite an intense fighting/killing scene in it. Or witches or goblins or something that I really don't think needs to be implanted in a 2 year olds mind. Our oldest daughter is only allowed to watch 2 shows on tv, IF they're dvr'd because quite frankly commercials are 90% of the battle. She has 2 approved movies she can watch, and people laugh when I tell them what chapter to start at, and which ones to skip. I'm not trying to raise her with a mindset that nothing bad happens, or the world is all flowers and ice cream, but I also don't think she needs to be exposed to intense violence/revenge/hatred at the age she's at.
My nephew is exactly opposite. He's been allowed to watch anything and everything since the day he was born. He's 7 and by the age of 5 he had seen all 3 spiderman movies, and all 3 star wars movies. Totally inappropriate if you ask me.

I'm so thankful that my children have a daddy who showers them with love. We've made an abundant effort to let them know that they are loved and beautiful no matter what, in our sight and the sight of God. Yes they are young, but yes they dress modestly. You won't find a skimpy swim suit here. And all their clothing is "fashionable" yet completely covering. We also try to tell our girls they're beautiful even in "un-beautiful" circumstances. Such as when they're in their jammies, or covered in dirt, or just woken up from a nap with messy hair. I want more than anything for them to have a positive self image about themselves. And so far, they really do. I hear Peanut tell Donut she's pretty or beautiful and I love that. There's a book we have called "The Princess in Me". It's a children's book by a Christian author and I think it's awesome for little girls!

Our girls have learned so much from our example. My husband and I have made an effort since early on in our marriage to always show gratitude for even the smallest things. Now both Peanut and Donut are following in step. And it's wonderful. I couldn't ask for anything more than thankful children. And it was all learned by example. I'm hoping that by the same example through me, my girls will learn modesty in their appearance. And through that they will see how much their daddy loves me for it, and that men do find modesty attractive.

You did bring up a good point I hadn't thought about though, and that's teaching our sons to have a pure heart and mind in regards to women. Sheesh I hadn't even started thinking about guarding my son, but now I will!

Thank you for your posts. I look forward to seeing them pop up on my homepage. Keep it up please!

Heather said...

Hi Tiffany,
I just got around to reading the first post, and then this one.
I completely agree with your first post, and I thought you had a good response with this one.
I am a very modest person because I know that men are visual and when they see a scantily clad woman, they have a hard time looking away and that image is etched into their brain.
I am thankful that my mom made me very sensitive to this when I was growing up (it probably had a lot to do with the fact that my dad cheated on her many times, ending in their divorce when I was 9). Because of that experience in my life I want to preserve my husband and son so much more.
It always has baffled me when I have Christian friends who do not think modesty is important. I think you were right in what you said in the first post about us being brainwashed by society into thinking being less modest is okay and children will lose innocence anyway.
Thank you for taking a stand on your blog in a kind and loving way.
I can't wait to read your follow up post to this.

Kylee said...

I would love to jump into to this conversation from a little bit of a different perspective. I am a 17 year old, homeschooled, highschool student.

As a homeschooler I have seen it ALL. I know kids that are extremely sheltered and are your "typical homeschooler" (I hate using stereo-types, but I'm hoping it will help you get the idea.) These kids are so sheltered that they have trouble interacting with people outside of their family and don't know how to think for themselves in important situations. However, when they finally get freedom, many (not all) often rebel and desire to try things for the first time.

On the opposite end, I know homeschoolers that are home schooled just for the sports. In my city, homeschooling has become huge and you end up getting lots of the "public school" (again, sorry for the stereo-type) kids. I am around these kids are an almost daily basis and it is hard to stand apart and not conform! The things that some of these students too are awful and I find it hard not to get sucked in.

The third group of people are the ones in the middle. I'm going to stick myself in this group, only with ALL of the credit going to my parents. My parents sheltered me so much when I was little. I rarely watched t.v...other than a couple of safe, innocent videos and occasionally one or two t.v. shows. I spent so much time with my family and older sisters and they became my best friends! My parents were so careful to teach us morality. We dressed modestly and never said any words that were slightly inappropriate.

Although I was very sheltered, my parents let me think for myself and only corrected me a long the way. I had a lot of freedom (and my parents trust me and are therefore very relaxed). If I'm out late at night, my parents will text or call and ask me to be home around a specific time, but they don't question who I'm hanging out with or what I'm doing. This has been huge for me in not rebelling! I know my parents trust me and they have taught me enough and I have seen enough of the world to where I have no desire to rebel.

Also, as a foster family I have seen teen pregnancies, alcohol, drugs and prostitutes. I have seen the effect they have on those sweet kids that come in our home and I have no desire for any of that. I know it is umbilical and wrong and I choose not to do that. At this point, it's not my parents sheltering me so much, it's my own choice.

Sorry this was long! I just respect you so much for starting your kids out this way and teaching them from the time they are babies to respect other people, and serve their Lord in a way that glorifies him.

That's my opinion! : )


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