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Thursday, January 14, 2010

.The Mother I am Today.

Liz tagged me for this special meme a few days ago. I am to share five experiences that have shaped me into the mother I am today, and tag five moms I admire. I have really given this some thought and enjoyed thinking through and reflecting on my mommyhood path.

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1. I am the mother I am today because of all of those hours and moments as a young girl dreaming of one day being a mommy. Can any of you women relate? I can recall spending whole days as a little girl carrying around my real baby doll, changing her diapers, her clothes, pretending to bathe her, feed her, put her to bed. I had other dolls too, including a few beloved cabbage patch kids. I would try to play with them all equally so as not to hurt any feelings. From the time I was a very young girl, I had an innate desire to be a mommy, to care for and mother a baby and children. I carried that with me into my adulthood, and even decided to pursue an education degree so that I could work with children. There are times I enjoy being around children so much more than being around adults!

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2. My parents definitely helped shape me into the mother I am today. I learned a lot about parenting by being a product of their parenting and watching them with my younger sister and brother. They were not perfect and would not claim to be, but they love Jesus and they shared that love with us. And today I pass that love down to my children. My dad was and is a very busy certified public accountant. We saw little of him in the winter months, but he always made sure to make up for that lost time by taking us all on a family vacation after tax season closed each year. He prioritized us the best way he could. I try very hard to prioritize my children and our family as a whole, because of this example. My mom was the epitome of a stay-at-home mom. We almost always had fresh, warm cookies waiting for us out of the oven upon coming home from school. The house was always neat and tidy, and she tried very hard to make things special for us. Birthdays were a huge deal and celebrated extremely. She is an excellent hostess and makes elaborate meals. I have carried a lot of what she did in her home into my home and into my own mothering.

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3. I think one of the biggest events that shaped me into the mother I am today was Cadi's birth. To make a long story short, my labor and her delivery were very traumatic. I still am emotional thinking about it today, and it is one of the biggest reasons we did not choose to get pregnant right away after having Cadi. After a grueling three day labor, Cadi was born with her umbilical cord squeezed tightly twice around her neck. I will never forget the look of her limp bluish black body being passed over my head, and I will never forget the cries of desperation my husband and I prayed aloud to God to save our first born. After several grueling moments, she was revived (by Jim's mom - this really is a long complicated story - maybe someday I will share it in its entirety here). Because of how much work had to be done to resuscitate her, she developed a pneumothorax - a popped lung. After Cadi was revived, I was literally given maybe thirty seconds to hold her in my arms, then she was whisked away to a NICU in another hospital, while I was left to recover. It's painful still for me to think about missing the moment I had dreamed of as a new mommy - that of my firstborn being placed on my chest and hearing for the first time your own child's healthy cry. When she finally did cry that evening - it was anything but healthy sounding; it sounded other worldly. I can still hear it when I think of that moment. I don't write this for you to feel pity for me though; I am getting off track. God had such a purpose in this! Cadi's lung healed itself - only because of God's mercy and grace - and we only spent a week in the NICU. Because of that experience, I got the amazing privilege to enter into motherhood with the realization of how fleeting and tender these moments are. It has infiltrated every aspect of mommyhood for me. I really do not take one day for granted with my children, and am so thankful that God chose to give me two beautiful, healthy children. I am sure even had I not experienced that, I would still love my children, but I am not sure if I would see motherhood and the true blessing of my children the way God needed me to see it. I feel very privileged that God blessed me by allowing and choosing for me to enter my journey of mommyhood in such a life-changing eye-opening way.

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4. I am the mother I am today, because of reading. I have read so many parenting, mothering, home making, wifery books. I don't agree with all of them all of the time, but God has used them in various ways to mold me into the mom He desires for me to be. Of course the best handbook for parenting is the Bible, and through His word, God continues to point out areas in my mothering that are lacking. With His help, I continue being refined and press toward the goal He has set before me.

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5. I am the mother I am today ONLY because of God, because of His saving work on the cross, because of his redemptive work in my heart and life, and because of the example He gave of true parent love. It's all because of Him....

I don't mean to break this meme, but I really enjoyed thinking through and reflecting on this post, and I wanted to give all of my readers an opportunity to participate if they choose. If you do decide to participate, please come back and let us know in the comments, so that we can read yours, and feel free to pass the meme along. {grin}

8 comments:

Gina said...

Ah..I LOVE it! What beautiful insights and I absolutely ADORE that last photo! I think this is a meme I'll have to ponder for the next couple of days and then post myself.

Tiffany, thanks for what you write. You inspire me. We seem to have so much in common and reading your blog inspires & challenges me to be more open & transparent in mine (quite a struggle) and to see God in places I haven't been looking. :)

Mom2Toribug said...

I found your blog from The Park Wife's. Don't you just love her? Now, I will follow along on your blog too. I guess I got too much time on my hands ;-) Not really, but I do enjoy reading them.
Wendy

Heather said...

What a beautiful blog post. I enjoyed it so much! Thank you for sharing.
Everything you said is so true, and especially about being the mom you are because of God.
Do you have a post somewhere that lists your favorite books? I am curious about that. :-)
~Heather

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

What a wonderful post!
I was in tears over reading about Cadi's birth.

Mandolin said...

I was one of those little girls caring for her "babies", too. It's always been in my heart - from the very beginning! This was a very touching post, Tiffany. Good work!

Carrie said...

Wow - i really, REALLY want you to share more about Cadi's birth story, but, what a difficult experience!!! I can't imagine how heartbreaking & stressful that must have been for you!

Dan and Alenna said...

I can't understand your traumatic birth experience, but I can understand having a child in the NICU. Aiden and Seth were in the NICU for 29 days and it was my worst month ever of being a mother. I just wanted my babies with me! Thank you for sharing this!

Rebekah said...

What a gripping story of her birth.
Bless you, i totally felt for you hearing about the labour and the birth.
Thank God for his gift of life.
Shes beautiful.

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