.Day #2 of 7.

It was the choices. The bright colors. The cleverly marked containers. The dizzying overwhelming display of laundry soap, followed by cereal boxes, followed by tea bags, followed by loaf after loaf of a variety of bread, followed by granola bars. It was seemingly endless options for everything.

That is what undid me last winter. I had just returned home from Africa. I had met my beautiful baby boy, kissed his face, and given my heart away to his country. I then did the unthinkable, and I walked away from it all, boarded a plane and left him behind, an ocean away, for an indefinite period of time. That is not something a mommy should ever be asked or have to do. So maybe it was the emotions from that or from being jet lagged for the first time in my life, but I remember clearly walking up and down the aisle in our Super Walmart with hot tears gushing over my cheeks. My shoulders shook as the choices overwhelmed and choked me. For the first time ever I realized that what I had grown up thinking was so normal was really not normal at all in the country I had just left, and in many other areas of our world. I felt rich and privileged and sick. I felt greedy and selfish. It was as if I had lived the past 31 years ungrateful in this land of plenty. I did not even understand the blessings that had surrounded me my entire life. They were just normal to me - perhaps even a right that I deserved.

This came to mind today, as I went through my 7 food choices, paired down from the excessive choices that typically beckon me in any given day. Jen's book is not so much a rule book for how to rid your life of excess or how to learn a certain lesson from the Holy Spirit. It is way more open ended than that. Even the guidelines for each of the seven months are left to the interpretation of the one doing the experiment. (I just happen to have a lot of type A personality inside of me, and I wanted to follow what she did. I kind of enjoy following rules. However, I have heard of other people doing the same experiment in a very different way.) Jen didn't box the Holy Spirit in with her experiment or have an agenda for what He would teach her, and I am trying very hard not to either. So this is pretty simple this month - reduce my eating to 7 foods and just be still in order to see how the Holy Spirit uses that.

I didn't really expect much today, but that above grocery store scenario flashed back into my mind (in the midst of my grumbling and complaining over my coffee - yes, the headaches are still here). I have grown up so privileged. I do live in the land of plenty. And I do not want to be blind to the fact that this is not really normal. This excess surrounding me, the choices I get to make everyday have dulled something inside of me. Maybe, just maybe, by cutting back to these 7 foods and eliminating the endless choices that I have become so accustomed to, my eyes will be opened a bit more to whatever it is that the Spirit is trying to press on me today. I pray that is the case. I want Jesus to be enough for me. I do not want this excess in my life to be what satisfies, because Jesus is the only One who could ever really satisfy. Sometimes it is just hard to remember that in the midst of the flashy excess, the deceiving choices - the JUNK. So this month I am taking something as simple as food and stripping it all away, and seeing where that leaves me in 30 days.

I pray that it pushes me face down to the feet of Jesus, who is more than enough for me.



The beautiful sandwich Jim made for me tonight (grilled chicken with slices of avocado smothered in avocado/yogurt on whole wheat bread) with baked sweet potato fries. I mean really, what do I have to complain about? This was delicious.

.Day #1 of 7.

Three things that stand out to me from day #1:

1. I wish, wish, wish, that I had a close-knit group of six girlfriends to be my "council" like Jen had, or to even do something crazy like this with me. Because my council of one - my hubby - is STRICT.
2. This is not going to be easy.
3. Coffee + me = perfection.

I just may dream about coffee tonight. I knew the food month for 7 would be one of the hardest for me, but...wow. And the thing is, as of yet anyway, it is not the limited food that has me gnashing my teeth. It's the no coffee. I cannot even remember the last time I went an entire day without it. It has not been pretty. My coffee press glares at me from the counter top and the four bags of Just Love Ethiopia Harrar beans (THAT WERE JUST DELIVERED TO OUR DOOR STEP!) are mocking me.

I just want a sip!

Pathetic. So, so pathetic. I am embarrassed to admit that my head is pounding, and I have even had on and off again shakes today with nausea. This morning at breakfast Jim and I needed something upstairs. We both looked at each other and grimaced. I finally said that I would go up and get it, and Jim muttered good, because I could not even fathom climbing up the stairs.

Yes folks it is just that bad!

I have learned something else today as well. The fruit of the Spirit like love, kindness, and mercy, well, they kind of fly out of the window when I do not have coffee surging through my veins. {blush} I was something of a mama bear today.

The spiritualness of day number one is a bit fuzzy. I was more focused on the mechanics - on what was (let's face it - wasn't) allowed. I am sure God has so much to teach me, and is teaching me something right this moment, but I am not seeing it clearly yet. He needs to keep stripping me away. And He will. Oh, He will this month. I am sure of it.

So our list changed a bit. Jim vetoed any flavor of Chobani yogurt, and insisted on plain. He is now regretting it after trying a spoonful at lunch. I laughed. Hard. But I hate it, too. I love yogurt. I just do not love plain (sour) yogurt. However, tonight I made it palatable by mixing peanut butter and yogurt together and dipping my apple slices in it. It worked for a dessert.

Here are our "7" groceries (somehow I missed the yogurt, though.). After I took this photo, I talked myself into making homemade bread. I asked Jim to buy bread because I was feeling too lazy to make it yesterday morning. But then I figured since we were eating no other chemicals this month, why eat it in the store bought bread.

This is how I mixed and matched my seven foods for today:
Breakfast: 2 slices of whole wheat toast with peanut butter
Lunch: 2 slices of whole wheat bread with a  mashed avocado/yogurt spread and 1/2 an apple
Dinner: Roasted Chicken and a sweet potato with an apple dipped in pb/yogurt for dessert
I will probably eat another apple before bed.

My head is truly pounding and my thinking is fuzzy, but I am welcoming this uncomfortableness. Maybe it will be what allows the Holy Spirit to really move and for me to notice. That seems to happen in my life - when my comfort, convenience, and normal are stripped away. And they were stripped away today. So I sit here waiting for whatever it is that God is orchestrating to happen in my life.

As Jen said so perfectly, Jesus may there be less of me and my junk and more of You and Your kingdom. I will reduce so He can increase.

I am doing this fast for a reason. Even if it hurts. Even if it means losing my beloved coffee for 31 days and eating plain (sour) yogurt.

(If you are really confused by what I am doing, check out my little explanation from yesterday or better yet read this written by the author of 7.)

.Home Sweet Home.

After twelve days away, five of which were spent in a minivan, we are home! We are sun kissed and all probably ten pounds heavier. Buhahaha. I love my family - my little family of five, and my extended  family. It struck me while on vacation that this was the longest I have been able to be with my sister in over ten years. It was amazing! And this was the longest I have ever spent with my niece and nephew - both who are hysterical! We had the best time. We were able to spend one day at Magic Kingdom, thanks to the generosity of some sweet family members. I got teary in the very first line as I held Jamesy and marveled that he was there with us.(Oh, and if you have a child with a disability - for example Jamesy is legally blind and has a sensory processing disorder and therefore has trouble in crowds or lines - you can get a special pass. We were able to sit in the front seats at shows and skip to the front of almost every line!) Jim and I were able to splurge on a date night, and then the rest of the time we pretty much lazed around in or by the pool. It was perfect. Absolute perfection.  And our children are champion travelers. We could not believe how well they did in the van for FIVE days!! So it is home again, and with such a full, wonderful time away, I am recharged and ready to start our crazy life back up.

....and ADD to the crazy! While on vacation I read Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker (a fellow AWAA adoptive Mama and author/speaker extraordinaire). I wish I could make you all read it, really I do. It was so NOT a book to read on vacation, but I did it cringing much of the time as I sat surrounded by excess. Her book is not a guilt trip, though, it really isn't. Jen's experiment is completely Christ and cross-centered. It takes seven months where one area of excess is targeted every month: clothes, shopping, waste, food, possessions, media, and stress. Jim and I are jumping in and joining the experiment....starting tomorrow {gulp}. We are starting with food. We will choose seven foods and seven foods only, and that is all we will eat for the month of May (and coffee does not make the cut. I am shaking already just thinking about that). It is a fast of sorts.  A fast in which I pray opens our eyes to the ridiculous excess around us and binds our hearts closer to the heart of our Father. I think this is a perfect way to prepare our hearts for our mission trip to Ethiopia. I am going to blog my way through it, for accountability, for reflection, and for fun - cause writing is what I do. That is essentially what Jen did with her book - she wrote her way through the experiment in real time. Again you SHOULD read the book. I think Jim and I have narrowed our seven foods down (thankfully we have had friends who have gone before us in doing this and we have stolen some of the items they wished they had chosen).

For the month of May Jim and I will be eating:

1. Chobani Yogurt (A little sneaky here as we did not choose a flavor {ahem}, but Jen emphasized spirit of the law not letter!)
2. Chicken
3. Avocados
4. Whole wheat bread
5. Sweet potatoes
6. Peanut butter
7. Apples

Only water to drink.

Tomorrow I will be back to write after I survive day #1. I am terrified of the coffee withdrawal, so much so I contemplated making coffee one of my seven foods! Ummmm.....yeah. 

Pray for me? 

Join me? I wish I had a group of like-minded friends that were into this! {hint, hint}