He's Coming HOME!

Yesterday I came to a breaking point. I do not know if it was the fact that Jamesy turned 15 months old while still being in an institution. Or if it it was the fact that it had been 50 days since I kissed him goodbye and the insanity of what I had done really sunk in. What kind of mommy leaves her child an ocean away?? Or maybe it was the knowledge that we had accepted his referral a half a year ago, and seen his face for the first time 7 months ago? Maybe it was the email saying that yet again he had an ear infection and was being given a very strong dosage of antibiotic injections.

Maybe it was everything combined.

I leaned hard on friends and family yesterday and God gave immediate support, comfort and encouragement from most of them. I cannot ever express my thankfulness for those people who have walked inside the pain with us and not shied away from the hurt that surrounds adoption. I know it made me hard to be around, hard to talk to, probably hard to relate to, but to those of you that ignored that and just did it - thank you. For the friends that called and called and called and emailed and texted not letting me walk this alone - thank you. Thank you for pursuing me, sharing in the pain, even when all I wanted was to stay distant and do this alone because it just hurt so much. I now know that this is exactly what I needed in my life during this past year. God put exactly the right people in my life at the right time, and this journey is just as much theirs as it is ours. Thank you. You know who you are and your rewards will be great in heaven. Thank you for being sensitive to the Spirit's leading on my behalf - for pursuing me even when I repelled. YOU got your hands dirty for the glory of God, and changed my life - my family's life because of it.

And now for the news!

Yesterday, I felt in my heart that it was just time to go. So did Jim. I wrestled with whether God wanted me to rest in the wait or get up and fight for my child. If it were Cadi or Scotty "trapped" in Africa, I would not just sit here passively waiting. And I felt it was time to fight for Jamesy. The thought of what that meant was scary, and I wavered and grew nervous. But ultimately we set a plan in motion. Jim and I decided that we would press our agency to book us a visa appointment with Embassy in earnest. This means we could possibly have an appointment with no Embassy clearance. We could travel to Ethiopia and be stuck if the clearance did not come and unable to go to the appointment. We decided that if our agency could get us an appointment we would risk it, as they thought we would be cleared by Monday at the latest.

Last night we shared only with our small group, family, and our yahoo group our intentions to fly on faith. We decided to plea to God one last time for the best case scenario - clearance today AND an appointment next week. It was a long shot as previous Embassy appointments have not been scheduled for two plus weeks out once clearance came. We posted on facebook just the plea for prayer for what we were considering our best case scenario.

This morning at 9:12 AM - we got the call. We are cleared AND have a US Embassy appointment on Tuesday (Monday night while you sleep)!! My baby is coming HOME where he belongs in a FAMILY - where every single orphan belongs for that matter. God once again answered our cries in a mighty, amazing, humbling way. He heard the cries of this mommy desperate for her family to be WHOLE. He has taught me so much about stepping out in faith and obedience this past year. It's hard to believe it has just been one year since our hearts were pricked. I sit here a completely changed woman, excited to bring Jamesy Yonas home, and excited to see what amazing future plans God has for our family. Life here on earth is so, so short, we might as well live it abundantly, recklessly, radically! We can rest in heaven someday, and in my dreams I can see Jim and I at the feet of Jesus surrounded by children of every color from every nation. I believe adoption just might be our mission field.

Ephesians 3:20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

And to God, the author, the finisher of my faith and this adoption who has for now - blessed me with these.

All glory to God,

.In the Fullness of Time.

We are in a holding pattern, waiting, willing for the right time for Jamesy's adoption to be finalized. When God determines the time to be right it will happen, and yet this is what I struggle with most. I am choosing to see that time is in God's hands and not mine. It brings comfort some moments and agony others. I am impatient for my brown-eyed boy. I am jealous for these moments that I feel are being stolen from me. And yet I am finding peace in the wait. Peace doesn't always come without pain, though. My heart is full of pain as the days fall away spiraling further and further away from the last moment I kissed his silky, chocolate cheek and hugged him warm and close. I am thankful that the memories haven't faded, and that by closing my eyes I am back there....but only in my mind.

We are still waiting for our document to be re-translated. Our agency has to hire an outside source to do this, and it is taking an unexpectedly longer amount of time. AWAA is speculating that the US Embassy is requesting several documents to be re-translated from other adoption cases and that several agencies are using the same translator. Whatever the reason - ours is not done, so it has not been resubmitted. Today is an Ethiopian holiday so we will not hear anything until perhaps tomorrow. There are at least three other families who have been cleared ahead of us for Visa appointments, and they were all told that next week (March 7-11) was already booked and no more appointments would be made. They are waiting to hear on the following week. I am hopeful that we can squeeze in that week too, but am starting to realize it might not happen. My heart is discouraged today. This is such an unnatural process - to hold and love on our son for a whole week and then leave him for 36 plus days. Who does that? Who can live with that? And yet that is what we did and are doing. It's hard, really, really hard, but God's grace is sufficient. I know that His grace is surrounding me, because there is no possible way I would have ever been strong enough for this on my own.

Our monthly update came in our email today. It was a bittersweet blessing to see his face for the first time since returning home. He looks so happy and care-free. I have such conflicting emotions when I see these photos. We never saw him looking this way when we were in Ethiopia. I've told very little really of our time with Jamesy, because it was hard. We loved him from "hello", but there were very painful moments. I still have so much in my heart about the whole process and Ethiopia, but I think it will stay in my heart for now. Some things are better left there than to be cheapened with my feeble attempts to string them together into words.

Happy Yoni wearing his socks from Daddy & Mommy.

Playing with the phone we sent him in December.


Our last update was for December. (Since we were in Ethiopia in January we did not receive an update for that month.) He has grown an inch and gained 3 lbs!! Every month I chart his progress on a growth chart. He is still below the 5th percentile for height and weight, BUT his head circumference was on the chart this month - between the 5th and 10th percentile - praise God! Jamesy had another ear infection just after we left him. It is cleared up now. I am praying that his ears stay healthy for the long flight home. Moments before we left Jamesy, he threw up all over me. I had wondered if he was coming down with something at the time, and I have prayed constantly for his health. Jamesy is now standing without support for a few seconds. Selfishly I am praying that he waits to take his first steps until he is with his Mommy. I just want so much to have that milestone. He now has 6 teeth as well! Jamesy turns 15 months two weeks from today. I am praying this is his last month in Africa, and this is our last ever update from AWAA.

Everything is ready for our brown-eyed boy, and in the fullness of time he will be here with his family - where he belongs. For now we all wait....

Until then, I suppose there is still much I must learn in this wait.

I wonder if this is anything like how God feels when He is about to bring one of His children home?

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37:4,7)

I wonder if it is the wait patiently for Him part that I have not yet learned. {sigh}

So When do we Bring Jamesy Home & What's Next?

I think this is the question we have been asked the most since being officially declared Jamesy's parents on Tuesday (I love, love writing that!). I wish we knew exactly when we were going to travel to bring Jamesy home to his forever family, but I don't. What I do know is that our agency now is in the process of collecting documents and getting papers signed (MOWA is once again involved in this - UG.) and ready to submit to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. Our agency is permitted to submit paperwork to the US Embassy only on Wednesdays. Our travel coordinator told me to expect our paperwork to be ready to submit on Wednesday, February 23rd. However, I am praying that God would allow things to come together really quickly, so that we could be submitted on February 16th - this Wednesday. AWAA has not, at all, indicated this is even a possibility, but I am still praying and will manically be checking my email this Wednesday!

The US Embassy then typically takes 7-10 days to review all of the documents. Their role is to scrutinize everything to make sure that the adoption is legal both under Ethiopian and US law. After the documents are carefully checked and any orphan investigations take place that may need to take place are done, we will be notified with what available appointments the US Embassy has open for a visa interview for our family. (This is our final hurdle to bringing Jamesy into the US. As of right now we are his legal parents, irrevocably, in the eyes of Ethiopia, but US has to see us that way, too.) We will choose an appointment - most likely the soonest one available. Then we will fly to Ethiopia, pick up our son (!!!) and attend the visa interview before flying back home! This will most likely be a shorter trip - just a couple of days from what we understand.

So this is the timeline we are expecting. Realistically we will probably not be going back to Ethiopia until the first part of March, but this Mommy who is aching to get her hands back on her brown-eyed boy is desperately praying for the end of February. But in the meantime we have so much to do!! One of the last things Jim whispered to Jamesy (which we have on video, but it's probably too raw and emotional to share) was that we would not leave him as an orphan and that we were preparing his room. And we need to do that! I had a sweet friend give me a crib set that she used for one of her boys. I love it, and am so thankful for it. However, now I am having second thoughts. I kind of want to tie Jamesy's birth country into his room, and cannot do it with a trucks and cars theme. {grin} I had grand plans to buy fabric in Ethiopia and somehow sew a crib set - didn't happen. And now with limited funds..... I'm not really sure. I think we are going to at least paint an Acacia tree on his wall with paint we already have. We are thinking that on Valentine's day we will have our date in his room! Ha!

We also need to pick up some 12 month winter clothes. Scotty's 12 month clothes are all summer (so we are all set for the summer!), and with Jamesy's thin, African blood - they are not going to cut it in our frigid climate! I have a few that I picked up this summer, and I am keeping my eyes on ebay and thrift stores. I have been given oodles of baby leggings - that makes me so happy! Cannot wait to see those little chocolate legs all decked out! We also need a car seat and to figure out what bottle he is using at the Transition Home and what formula we are going to try him on. (Yes, he is 14 months next week, but for attachment and nutritional purposes we plan to bottle feed him another year). Fortunately Scotty and Jamesy are both in size 3 diapers! So this works wonderfully! I may just pick up a small package of size 4 for the trip home in case he has tummy troubles.

We are also expecting and praying that God will provide all of the finances for our second trip, as our well is now dry! I know He will, and honestly I am not the least bit worried. God has gotten us this far, and I know he will provide a way for us to bring our son home!

I feel like there is a lot to do, but I am really excited to have something to do as we wait to hear when we can travel. I cannot wait! I get nervous butterflies just thinking about how close it really is. I miss that darling boy like crazy, and am anxious to have all of my children under one roof! Typing that makes tears sting my eyes.

Until then .... staring at photos like this. {grin}