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Saturday, January 1, 2011

.Preparing for the Next Chapter.

How does one wrap up or explain in a small post a year that was so life-changing, so dramatic, so not what I expected?

I don't think I can. I have tried several times both yesterday and today, and each time my eyes well up, and a huge lump lodges and burns in my throat. There is just no way to express the work that God has started in my life this year. I am inadequate and ill-equipped to make sense of what pounds in my heart with just mere strokes and curves of letters. So I am going to stop trying, and just thank God for reaching down into my messy, self-centered life in order to shake it up and make it into something that I barely recognize now. Thank you God for choosing me for the most incredible journey I could ever imagine. Thank you for changing my life and taking me out of the equation.

I do not know what 2011 holds. I cannot even pretend to guess what chapters God will write into our story. I know this coming year will be emotional and special with the homecoming of our sweet, Jamesy. I am confident that there will be many difficult and challenging days ahead of us as we feel out our new family of five, but I am also just as confident that He who called me to, and walked me through this journey will continue to see me through any trials in the days ahead.

I still need God to break my heart for what breaks His and to continue to unveil my eyes. I want to see with clarity, and live with eternity in mind. I want 2011 to mold me, stretch me, and shape me to look more like my Jesus. I want to do big things for Jesus, and I do not want fear to get in the way. I suppose these are my goals. This is what I am running after. My eyes are fixed on the prize of eternity, and I just pray that I have the endurance for this leg of the race.


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