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Sunday, November 14, 2010

.The Lifter of my Head.

I wonder how many times had I stood there before? Stood in the exact same place. Surely the carpet must be worn with the imprints of my feet. It is in this same place that I have experienced worship for decades - even before I was tall enough to see over the pew ahead of me.

The piano sang out its tune, the trumpet danced, and three hundred voices wafted to the throne room of heaven. Nothing was really different about this Sunday or the worship, but as the music reached its crescendo the words my lips were curving around hit me brand new.

Thou Oh Lord are a shield about me, You're my glory, You're the lifter of my head.

I wonder how many times have I sung those words?

Today was different in that the words settled around me like a warm blanket stealing away a winter chill, and my mind flashed to moments in the past few weeks and even months.

The moments that I thought emotionally I could not bear even getting out of bed, and then His grace washed over me and He lifted my head as I began a new day.

The moments when I thought surely I would suffocate from enduring even one more day away from Jamesy, and then His peace settled in like a deep, gasping breath of oxygen and He lifted my head.

The moments I could not bear to answer one more question about why we have not received a court date, and then my words came out filtered through His patience and He lifted my head.

The moments that the hot tears, and violent sobs could have surely pulled me into a deep pit of darkness, had it not been His promises of Scripture, and His gentle hand as He lifted my head.

The moments my heart was crushed and bruised from being misunderstood in this pursuit to my son, and He comforted me with people who did understand and in that moment He lifted my head.

The music swirled around me, the moment marched on, as all moments must, but my heart soared at the reminder that God - the Creator of the universe, the Almighty One, the Author and Finisher of life, the Alpha, the Omega, notices me. He not only notices my despair, my pain, but He replaces it with hope and strength.

Once again, my Defender, reached out His strong hand, tucked it under my chin and lifted my head, so that I could turn my eyes back where they belong - on Him.

But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. ~Psalm 3:3

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