.Day #4 of 7.

We cheated.

But since we have no council of six to go to for moments of uncertainty with our "rules", we default to ourselves for these "rules". And Jen did emphasize spirit of the law not letter. And we did go with the plain yogurt, so I think we should have a little leeway elsewhere. And I am a recovering legalist who does not want to fall prey to those evil legalistic tendencies again. {giggle}

Okay, okay, we cheated.

This afternoon I made whole wheat sweet bread. It is basically whole wheat bread with added brown sugar and instead of yeast, it calls for baking soda for leavening. It's a far cry from a banana bread or a pumpkin bread. It is still heavy like wheat bread and is made with 100% whole wheat flour only, but....it's not exactly the wheat bread we had in mind when we chose our 7 food items. Let me tell you how amazing it tasted warm from the oven and slathered in peanut butter, though!



I would cheat again.

And I probably will.

We also had sweet potato and apple chips with a {gasp} hint of cinnamon. They were a party in my mouth! I am realizing how we chose 7 very bland foods. UG. We are so not bland eaters  - especially me. I love flavor. I season everything, dip everything, and slather everything to the max, and it is killing me to only be allowed salt, pepper, and olive oil on these 7 very, very bland foods.

So it is Friday night, our typical family pizza night, and we cheated. We have tweaked the rules and have now allowed the sweet potato and apple chips with a hint a cinnamon - only on Friday nights. The verdict is still out on the whole wheat sweet bread.



In other news, I cut up and boiled some sweet potato and then chilled them this morning and mixed it with diced apples and diced avocado. I then tossed it all together with a little olive oil and salt and pepper. Meh. It was bland. I actually think it would be a nice salad with a hint of citrus - lime juice maybe and some chopped herbs. But for now, I cannot know if that is true.

And tonight we tried this recipe for peanut butter crusted sweet potato fries. They were pretty good! A little tedious. I think next time I will just bake up a sweet potato and slather it with peanut butter - easier and same taste I would imagine.

Blah. The food is blah, and I feel blah. I was doing well on Wednesday and Thursday. I felt God pricking at my heart, but Jamesy was up for 4 hours last night. With no coffee to keep me going today, I have been weak and flailing. I did listen to a little of the Orphan Summit live this afternoon. It was good, and of course I cried through several of the speakers as I baked bread, swept my floors, and folded laundry. But at the end of two hours I just felt drained. I have been listening to this stuff for two years, my heart has been so convicted over my past neglect in this area of orphan care, I am passionate about orphan advocacy and for children to have families and be loved, and I firmly believe the Church is the answer for the orphan crises, and for Pastor's to step up to the plate and shepherd their flock in this area, but....I do not know what to do with all that is in my heart. For not the first time, I just wish that I had a close friend here that shared my heart, someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to listen to my broken heart and for me to listen to hers. So, yeah, it just left me feeling defeated and bleh.

And now as I write this, I remember a message I got earlier this week, from a friend, not one that lives here, but one that gets my heart. I love that adoption has given me a circle of friends around the globe who really do get me and share this same passion and burden. Sometimes I forget that I truly am blessed in this area, and I need to stop wishing for what cannot be right now. Anyway, this is so disjointed, I am truly struggling without my coffee today, this friend is also reading through the book. She ended her message to me this way:

....remembering that while I'm reading this book, I keep thinking its about ME, and the changes I need to make, and sometimes [I] get just plain old caught up in the me me me. Its not about us. . . Its about Him. Hold fast to Jesus Tiffany.

Funny how the Spirit brought that to mind as I wrap up this whiny, poor me post.

It's not about me.

I have made this about me - all day long today.

Remembering now that it's about Him. It's all about Jesus - this crazy 7 fast included - and tonight I hold fast to Him.

More Him, less me and less my junk - food and all.