.Finding my Rest (Update on Cadi).

As soon as she awoke yesterday I knew something wasn't right. Over the weekend Cadi had seemed a little better, still tired, but she seemed to have a little more energy. She had no signs or symptoms that her platelets were falling. I was very hopeful that she truly was going to be the exception for I.T.P., and that just one treatment kicked her body back into gear allowing her to make a full recovery.

However, sadly that does not seem to be the case. Which is normal for I.T.P. cases, but this is not another case, this is my Cadi.

I noticed late yesterday morning that petechia was spreading all over her chest, her belly, and her legs again. I panicked, now realizing that this is an indicator of dropping platelets. We called her Hematologist and were told to go straight to our local hospital for a blood draw. (She was supposed to wait and get one on Thursday.) Sure enough her platelets have dropped.

First I have to correct myself. I had previously said that Cadi's counts were at a 9 at the beginning of her diagnosis. That is what we were told by several different doctors. However, yesterday, I found out most doctors just don't say the THOUSAND that comes after it. So Cadi was actually at 9,000 - not 9 (a 9,000 is a critical count - anything 10,000 or under is.) Last Thursday she went up to 78,000 (which the nurse on the phone had told us the thousand that time). I apologize for the misinformation.

Yesterday Cadi was down to 27k. She is back into a dangerous zone with her platelets - not critical as the risk for hemorrhaging and internal bleeding is still not as great as before, thankfully. The Hematologist wants us to watch her for membrane bleeding, and if she does not have any then wait until next Tuesday to test her blood again.

I had been praying and praying that my Cadi was going to be the exception to this diagnosis, and that this would all be behind us by Christmas. Which is pretty unrealistic humanly speaking, but I knew for God it was possible. It just is not His plan. So we continue to be in the thick of this. Cadi continues to feel very fatigued from the mono, and her blood platelets are dropping.

My prayer is still that her body starts working properly on its own, and that we see a spike in her count next week. For now we continue to lay low. I am trying to do a little school with Cadi each day, but I am so thankful that Christmas break starts on Friday for her. I feel so sad that Cadi is not able to participate in the normal Christmas activities. We have resigned to the fact that she will not be singing her solo Christmas Eve at church (although we are going to record her singing it, and it will be played), and Cadi will not be able to attend church Christmas morning either. She has missed parties and get-togethers. But the one thing that cannot be taken away is the true meaning of Christmas - celebrating the birthday of Jesus. So we are going to focus on that, and not on everything that she is missing. We may not have Christmas cookies, and I may not have sent out my Christmas cards, no presents are wrapped and really very few were purchased (I have had sick children since Halloween!), but Jesus, well He is being lifted up and exalted and made much of. And that, that is Christmas.

My grandma remains in the hospital and needs serious prayer, and so does the entire family.

I am tired, I am weary, but I am not defeated. I know everything is filtered through the hand of my God. I know that all of this is His perfect plan, orchestrated lovingly by Him. So for now I find my rest in that knowledge, and that is enough.

This photo was taken a few days ago when Cadi was feeling a little better.

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28