I love you. I love all 800 plus (what?!) of you. I am humbled by your kind words left here, sent to my email, and posted on facebook. You continue to lift me up and edify me over and over.
Most of you I have never even met, very few of you are my IRL friends, but yet we are connected through this little piece of the web. I am amazed, humbled, dumbfounded that you continually come here to read my so often inadequate words. God always sends the right people at the right time. So many of you have been sensitive to the Spirit's leading and reached out to me when I have needed it the most.
You have shared in my joy, my grief, my prayer requests. You have loved my family, and you have loved me through so much change in our family. Many, many of you have literally helped us bring our sweet Jamesy into our family, and yet we are strangers. Some of you I will never meet this side of heaven, but know this I am thankful for each one of you who has become invested in my family through this little blog. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you would never be enough.
My last post was a bit melancholy and blue. I received a few worried emails. I am fine. Truly I am. For the past two years I have tried to blog very authentically, which goes against my nature. I believe the body of Christ gets very good at masquerades. I don't desire to be part of that anymore. I still pick and choose what I write here, not everything gets published for the world.
Everything is prayed over, and I publish what I do in order to share my flaws and humanness and brokenness with the world, but I don't do it to receive sympathy. I publish the hard things sometimes, so that the good things can only be pointed back at my Jesus. I want all of the glory, all of the honor to go to Him alone. It's hard for people to see Jesus in me when I am being fake and try to appear all together all of the time, but when I am weak He is clearly visible. Because without Christ in me I can do nothing - I am nothing.
I know so many readers were praying for me this weekend, and I just want to tell you that God has answered your prayers. I had an amazing, calm weekend with my family. We hiked with some extended family on Saturday. It was absolutely refreshing to get outside of these walls and breathe in His creation. We explored and hiked and sweat and got filthy together. It was glorious. It was worship of our Creator.
Today we worshipped with our church family. Jamesy slept through the entire sermon, and for the first time in what feels like forever I was able to sit there in the pew during the whole service. I bathed in God's goodness, and walked away so thankful, so joyful. I had some wonderful meaningful conversations with friends, and I was able to fellowship and give back some today. I just felt so good, so alive, despite being tired and still hanging onto some sickness. We came home to a belated birthday party for Jim. He requested Ethiopian cuisine, and an absolutely sinful three layer sour cream chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and chocolate peanut butter genache. My parents ate Ethiopian food with us for the first time (and liked it!), and we enjoyed each others company. The children napped the afternoon away, and Jim and I cuddled while watching a silly movie. The evening ended with popcorn for dinner and Peter Pan as a family.
I feel ready for tomorrow, and our new school year ahead. I feel renewed, refreshed, recharged....yes, all of those great re- words!
Oh, and the dryer! We rearranged a few things in our budget to fit in a low end new dryer. Jim is going to work on that tomorrow. Praise God!!
God is so good to give me such faithful readers as you all. You have and continue to bless me. If only I could repay you....
Philemon 1:4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers.
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PS Jim taught Cadi to tie her shoes yesterday!! That is one thing checked off of my list for the school year!