The shock of Jamesy's diagnosis is wearing off. Left in it's wake is something I wasn't really anticipating - peace. There are moments when the waves of fear come crashing over me, but they have not sucked me under. I am determined to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. The hope that I have in Jesus Christ is outweighing all fear.
We do not know what the future holds for our sweet Jamesy, but honestly, I do not know what the future holds for any of my children or for Jim and myself. Today could be the day God calls me home, or as much as I pray is not the case, He could call one of my children home today, or my husband.
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14.
This is the verse that my blog was built upon. I wanted to savor the life that I am blessed with right now, understanding that it is just a mist - a vapor and thank God for giving me a moment cherished. How easy it is to forget, to get bogged down in the daily tasks that can consume me. If nothing else, this has renewed my determination to intentionally cherish every moment God gives me here on earth - whether they be many or few.
We are working very closely with a Children's Hospital right now. Jamesy needs to undergo several more tests and examinations by a pediatric neurologist, pediatric endocrinologist, and we are going to get a second opinion regarding his nystagmus by another pediatric opthamologist. Jim and I are believing that Jamesy has a mild form of this disorder, but he will need careful medical examination before that can truly be determined. Please pray that Jim and I would have wisdom.
While we wait for appointments for these specialists I am determined to focus on that which is true and not allow fear to feed me lies.
- Jamesy is the same beautiful boy that we first fell in love with. He is our beloved son. Nothing could make us love him less or more.
- Jamesy is showing signs of being cognitively and developmentally where he should be, which is a very positive thing with this diagnosis.
- There is a 70% chance that Jamesy's hormones will not be affected by this disorder.
- Jamesy was blind, but now he can see (and seemingly WELL)!! Most children with this disorder are blind or severely visually impaired.
- God chose me to be Jamesy's mommy. He has specially chosen me for this journey, and I know He will equip me with the strength and grace as I need it.
Dear friends, thank you for the emails, the messages, the comments of encouragement and prayers. Thank you to so many who cried right along with us. It's funny to me that this diagnosis came on the tail of me writing that privacy post. Upon hearing Jamesy's diagnosis my first instinct was not to tell anyone. I was afraid it would give people an excuse not to adopt and make them afraid of the what-ifs. It was very evident that God was leading Jim and I to live this very transparently, and I trust that. Maybe this will actually be a testimony to families as to why adoption is so needed. Jamesy would have never gotten this diagnosis in Ethiopia. Our God is so sovereign and loving. He placed Jamesy in our arms at the exact perfect time, and I have no doubt that He is carrying us all in His own arms.
Just when I think I have learned about surrendering it all to Christ and letting God be in control, I am reminded that I have not completely let go. Handing over the reigns (again). My God is in control.
I apologize for not having a Wedded Wednesday. In all honesty I kind of forgot.
Addis Ababa Time
6 comments:
Tiffany-my now 5 1/2year old daughter was born deaf. No explanation why she was deaf...she just was. It was scary in the beginning and I blamed myself that I had maybe done something to cause it. But our God is so good!!! We firmly believe God has big plans for her! At one year old she got bilateral cochlear implants. She now hears incredibly well and she sings and tells stories. Her language skills are only slightly delayed and each year she catches up more and more. It's been a journey we never thought we would go thru but it has brought such huge blessings. We've got to tell so many of Gods love by answering their questions about Averys "special ears". The beginning is overwhelming and mentally exhausting. But as you already know God has you all in his hands. My family will be praying for your journey!
Soli deo Gloria
Suzy
Tiff,
It was so good to see you at Caleb's graduation party and more than a blessing to meet Jamesy!!!
GOD is right there beside you and I love that verse. None of us knows what will happen in the next five minutes, BUT we know Who holds our hand every step of the way. Keep trusting Tiff. HE will not fail you. I love you. ~AK~
We just don't know what God has in store for any of us adopted or not and I wholeheartedly would agree that such a diagnosis should not stop anyone from adopting! You are so correct in that Jamesy is the same no matter what his diagnosis is and how it will work out in his life. Besides that smile can capture anyones heart!!!
You're so right, Tiffany! God is in control and only He can give that kind of peace. There's no doubt in my mind that God has big plans for Jamesy! He's right where he is supposed to be!
Hugs,
Tammy
So thankful you are in a place of peace and rest. God will equip you for this journey.
Praying for your sweet boy, Tiffany. I also pray for continued strength and peace for you and your family. I know that Jesus is carrying all of you. God's divine plan before He created the earth would be that you would be Jamesy's mom. How blessed you both are. Remember that nothing can separate you from the love of Christ.
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