.Following Through With "I Do" Part 2.

EDIT: My hubby has added a male prespective to the first question, and it is great! Check it out here!

To catch up on part 1 click here.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

Today's question gets stickier, as the area of submission is heated - even within Christian circles. {Deep breath} Let's dive in with grace.

What does the Bible mean by [a wife's] submission and what does it involve?

First and foremost, this idea of submission was created by God. It was intended as a beautiful thing. When we really study and think through submission we can draw the conclusion that submission is central to our relationship with God. A wife's submission to her husband is an outward picture of her submission to her Savior. It is beautiful and magnetic - people notice. Jesus calls us to be his disciples. A disciple must submit himself to the teacher. It is humans who have made submission out to be an ugly, awful thing. We have limited it, distorted it, and squeezed it into a legalistic mold.

True biblical submission is voluntary, and it comes from an internal love and desire to please God. Biblical submission puts the interest of our husband above ourselves. It is selfless. Submission is an intentional act of love. A godly wife is intrinsically motivated to submit to her husband because of her love for God and her love for her husband. When we submit to our husbands we are actually making known the authority that God has over us as well. Submission to our husbands does not mean that we cannot graciously share our opinion with our husbands or that we have to deny all of our dreams and desires and robotically "obey". A woman is valuable in a marriage, and so is her role. Biblical submission is a privilege. It is not an enslavement as so many want us to believe that it is.

I want to be careful to point out that God has clearly stated that a wife is to submit to her own husband. All women are not to be submissive to all men, and it makes me really uncomfortable when I hear this false teaching being spread. Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. It is only in the context of marriage that a woman is commanded to be submissive to her husband.

When a woman makes a choice to marry (and it is a choice we have made!) then she is also choosing to place herself under the submission of her husband. So practically speaking what does submission look like? Outward submission is yielding to our husband's desires without putting up a fuss or resisting. It is a daily submitting of our will. This again does not mean that wives cannot express her desires and opinions to her husband. She must do so respectfully and graciously, and ultimately she is commanded to surrender.

A wife is neither a doormat nor a slave in marriage. Ultimately we are choosing to allow our husbands to take care of us. And isn't that truly what we desire? A wife is a meaningful, irreplacable, contributing partner in a marriage, but she still must understand her God-given role and her husband's God-given role. A husband has been given the responsibility of guiding his family and home, and a wife needs to allow him to do so and encourage him in his role. A husband needs to have the freedom and encouragement from his wife to have leadership in his home.

I absolutely do not believe that a wife needs to submit to her husband in an area that does not line up with God's Word, but we must be daily in God's Word to know whether or not this is the case. If a husband ever asks his wife to do something that is ungodly or unbiblical she must not do it. I believe Scripture is clear that we must follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and I believe that if we are in tune to what God's Word tells us He will guide us in every situation. Husbands are human and honestly they are incapable to always lead their wives in all truth - that is the job of the Holy Spirit.

I know that no two marriages are the same and that sometimes the husband is not following his biblical role. I believe that a wife is still expected to submit, unless as stated above, he is asking her to do something that is unbiblical. I also believe that we serve a God that can restore and redeem marriage, and that a wife has a lot of power when she lives out her faith authentically in front of her husband and commits to praying for him. God has used godly, submissive wives to radically turn around an ungodly husband and/or family. He will continue to work in this way. It may not happen in our human timing, and we need to trust that God is faithful. I know that is easy for me to type, as I am not living that reality.

I truly believe that marriage vows were met to be beautiful and sacred, but I do not think that God ever intended for a marriage to become violent or abusive. In that situation I think that it is very appropriate for the woman to seek safety and biblical counsel. I do not believe God intends for her to stay inside an unsafe home.

So what do you think? How would you define submission? What does it involve in marriage? I look forward to interacting with you!
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