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Friday, November 12, 2010

.To Write Her Story.

The words, the curves of my letters as they bounce on the inside of my heart, struggle to break out as they once did. They have been fighting against stat numbers and comments and all the other things that inflate my blog and warp it into what it was never intended to be. They have turned crooked, and I cannot recognize them anymore.

When did writing my story turn into writing to please people? Writing to receive praise and readers and validation? I had always intended to write for my audience of One, but I lost sight of Him and saw the others. Oh, I do believe He intends for others to read and know my story, but how many others, and where they come from is not for me to know. Because in that knowing I will lose my story. And in losing my story I have lost myself. Because isn't that what God entrusts us with? Our story. I have not been stewarding mine well, and it is time for a change.

So, today, I took an eraser, and erased the frills - the ones that I didn't recognize. The voices too were erased, and I will do this my way - simply. For my story still needs to be told, but that is it....simply told. So I come back to this keyboard with new eyes, with my palms open, ready to write my story. That's it. That's all He has ever asked of me. Nothing less, and nothing more.

....and she took a deep breath and again began to write her story.

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