. Processing.

I don't have time for this.

I don't have time to sit here at my computer, but I need to process. I need to get these thoughts down in typed words so that I remember them later. So that I remember each step of this journey and can share it with our precious son in later years. I don't trust my mind to remember it all, so here I am.

Tonight is what we have been waiting for - our first home study meeting. We will travel to Albany for a 7:00 PM meeting with our social worker, Kristen. We will be going right to her home. The original plan was for my mom to come to the house and watch our children. We will not be back until very late tonight, as it is a couple hours drive and a two hour meeting. However, my sweet new nephew, Isaiah Nathan, made his appearance this weekend (I have tons of photos, but I left my card reader at my sister's house!), so my mom is soaking him up in PA, and my best friend willingly decided to take care of my children, in Mom's place, at her home. This is a huge blessing. She is one of the very few people I feel comfortable with caring for them.

I don't know what to expect this evening (or how to dress). This is the part of the adoption process that I have been most intimidated by. I am a writer. I am not a talker. I do not speak how I write. I am not articulate, and I do not like being put on the spot. I am praying that I can just speak from my heart and have it make sense. I just wish I knew what was to come, so that I could walk in feeling even a little bit prepared. Will you please pray for me?

On top of this, our church is hosting VBS this week. My Cadi is there right this moment, hence the reason I am typing out a post that is live and not drafted. {grin} My house is quiet as Scotty is napping. I had a really hard time sending her, as I have never done anything like this before. I really value the moments God gives me with my children, and it is so hard for me to relinquish them. They are so fleeting. I will be going with Cadi to VBS on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to take pictures. Since my mom is not around, I suppose Scotty will be with me as well. That should be interesting! {wink}

On Wednesday, we also have small group training in our home, as well as on Sunday. However, before the small group on Sunday we have home study meeting #2 with Kristen. This one will be the home inspection which will take place here. Eeek! I really have no clue how to even begin to prepare for that. I get panicky just thinking about it. Kristen will also be watching us interact with Cadi and Scotty. Please pray, as the meeting takes place right after church on Sunday. This is always a tough time for us, being as both of the children will be tired and hungry.

From here we will most likely have two more meetings - Jim and I both have to be interviewed separately I believe. Then we notarize and certify paper work and pray that we have the money needed to send everything to Ethiopia!! We are getting so close. If things continue to move forward like this, we could have our baby much sooner than we originally thought. (And this could mean that he is actually growing inside his birth mother's womb right now!)

I just found out that two more of our friends will be pursuing the ministry of adoption. I just love watching God work in and through us and work on the hearts of people around us. I cannot believe that only a few short months ago, I knew nothing of this journey. I knew none of these blessings. Today I am filled with expectant hope and joy that God has chosen me for this journey.

I continue to worship in this wait....

Mommy already loves you sweet boy. Thank you, God, for already entwining our hearts.



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