.Swirling Thoughts.

On the adoption process.

I haven't spoken specifics lately. Honestly for a few weeks I was just overwhelmed and anxious. I mentioned how the mountain of paper work just sat on our island. Remember this?



Like I said before I finally organized it all into a d-ring binder. (Just in time to be emailed several more attachments to be printed out and added!)



But honestly, the paper work still just sat there rather than on our island, and I still had no idea how to tackle it. However {finally} on Monday Jim and I decided that was the day, and that we were just going to dive in. And you know what? It wasn't that bad. On Monday alone we were able to cross TWELVE items off of our tracking sheets! 12!! That is not including the fact that we also applied for our passports on Monday and made an appointment to get finger printed this coming Monday. It was a huge day, and it really got the ball rolling for us. We also completed several hours of our on-line training, and we are now in the home stretch with that.



We are very close to having everything done that we need to start our home study. With the exception of our physicals, which we were not able to schedule an appointment until August 24!! That means we can not get our home study under way until then, when we are so close to ready for it now. Please, please pray that we can get that appointment bumped up, waaaaay up! We also need a bit more money in order to submit the check with this paperwork to start our home study. I am trying so hard not to worry about the money part. God is clearly in control, and He is clearly providing. In fact I do not think that a week has gone by, since we publicly announced our adoption, that we have not been given a gift of money from someone. I have trouble even processing that, and though I have said it over and over I am so humbled and grateful.



As far as what we are personally doing to raise funds with our money - well we are simplifying our life as much as possible. We eliminated cable and with that - the bill, we sold our second vehicle, we had a yard sale and sold several of our possessions, we are ebaying some of our possessions that are worth a bit more - including Jim's i-pod touch, my COACH items, and possibly Jim's beloved NY Giant's memorabilia, I sold my old Nikon, we have cut our grocery bill in half, we are no longer buying Starbucks coffee (We buy Just Love!), we eliminated going out to eat, and we are talking of completely eliminating Christmas gifts. Every extra penny at the end of the month goes directly into our adoption fund, and God has been blessing us! I would love to schedule a few photography shoots to help with adoption fees as well, but so far not much is happening on that front. I also researched adoption grants yesterday, but in order to apply we have to have our home study completed.

Even though things are going really well right now. The enemy continues to whisper lies to me. I am battling severe anxiety at night, and I cannot sleep again. Insomnia is not a friend. At the most I have been getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night for the past several weeks. I am not a believer of medication for this (for myself anyway, I am not interested in a debate here- please!), and I have tried some natural methods to no avail. I know God is using this time to make me vulnerable and sensitive and to grow me. It is just really, really hard to function on so little sleep, especially when I really require a lot of sleep. Please pray for me if God lays it on your heart. I am a sleepy, emotional mess. I think running would help me sleep, but my knees are really bothering me. I feel as if I am 60 some days rather than 30. {sigh}

My God is right here with me, my Jesus continues to be the same, and I rest in that.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9) This is the verse I am claiming right now.

These are the faces that push me to continue this paper chase we are on.



And my children here are a constant reminder to seek God for the strength I need to be a good mommy - even through this stress-filled time.

I want to end this on a positive note. Please do not think that I am walking around with a cloud over my head. I am not. I just want to be transparent and vulnerable on my blog during this whole process. Here are some amazing blessings that have happened lately:

My sister and her husband are hosting a yard sale for us this weekend to help us raise funds!

We hit our goal for the t-shirts - thanks to Jim's sister promoting them at the hospital she works at!

We will get our first check from Just Love this week! And people keep buying coffee! Yay!

I still wake up almost every morning with encouragement in my inbox from you all!! Thank you.

We have seen some family members that have not been very supportive in our decision to adopt slowly start to turn around a bit. We continue to pray for this.

I have found some great encouragement on our agency's yahoo group for families adopting from Ethiopia. It is likely we will be traveling with some of those families - so neat!

Jim just called this morning about a letter found in his mail box at church. It was anonymous from a young person in our congregation that wanted to help us along in our process with a small donation. It reminded me so much of the story in the Bible about the widow's mite. I am eager to see how God will bless that donation.

We continue to hear from more and more people that God has opened their eyes after reading our story. What a blessing to spread this love for orphans - God's love for orphans - around.

What would it mean if our churches and families were known as the people who adopt babies-and toddlers, and children, and teenagers. What if we as Christians were known, once again, as the people who take in orphans and make of them beloved sons and daughters. Russell D. Moore Adopted for Life

Jim and I are reading that book together before bed. It is life-changing. I highly recommend it, but only if you are willing to be completely convicted!

God is good, and we continue to see His hand in our journey!

I cannot wait to get our baby home and in my arms. I think God is most definitely growing a boy in our hearts. I browsed crib sets on ebay yesterday. I couldn't help it. Obviously we will not be purchasing one at this time. And although, I really want the baby to have his own crib set, just like my other two children did, most likely for practical reasons, we will just use Scotty's. But if money were not an issue, this is what I would buy or this!

Thank you all for following our journey and encouraging us in such tangible ways. You are a blessing.


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