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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

.Let's Be Honest.

Okay I must be honest for a moment.

I {really} have been enjoying getting acclimated to Jim's new position as a Pastor. And I am learning it is so much more than a new position, or a new ministry.

It is a way of life.

And I am loving it.

I am learning so very much. I am learning to open my home on a moment's notice. Something that I have never ever been good at. (Have I mentioned before how much I love order and routine and knowing what will happen ahead of time?! ha!) But truly God is chiseling away at me. He is working on my hospitality, my priorities, my pride, oh how He is working!

Our Pastor's wife (We have two pastors at our church - Jim is one. He is the Associate Pastor.) gave me such wise counsel shortly before Jim was hired. She told me to be ready to just let Jim go and minister. I didn't really "get it" when she told me that, but after three short weeks in this ministry I am getting it. I also realize what wisdom was in her words. She has taken me under her wings and has helped me immensely as I feel out this new path before us.

That is {part of} why I have not written any posts in a long time.

The other reason is more foolish.

Awhile back I wrote a post that I was and am very passionate about. I do not regret anything that I wrote, as I have read it and reread it. But I learned that the particular post was misunderstood and misinterpreted to mean something that I was not intending. And it kind of knocked the wind out of my sails. My husband read the post in question and supported my position 100% and did not see a problem with it. But I have just been hesitant to write anything. My skin is not thick. I do not like stirring up controversy. {bleck}

Even now I hesitate to push publish. I have stated and restated that this blog is for me, for me to cherish the moments and preserve the memories of my young family. Along the way I have gathered a handful of dear, sweet readers who amazingly God has allowed my words to encourage their hearts. It is humbling and exciting, because for as long as I could write my letters I have wanted to write and impact people. I always thought I would publish a book, and I even tried a few times. However, God has shown me the past few months that my platform with writing for now is my blog, and I love that. It just hurt to be misunderstood, but I need to get a backbone because that is part of this bit. Is it not?

Mondays are our family day now. I love that. Yesterday we drove to see Jim's parents and stopped at a few thrift stores along the way. Jim and I had a nice chance to talk during our travels. He encouraged me to keep blogging. He feels that it is an important ministry that I have. Maybe he is right. I pray God can use me despite me.

So in being honest, I had my feelings hurt. I sulked for a bit, but I am back. I'm not giving up.

Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.


Bethany said...

I'm so glad you are back writing again! I must admit I was getting a tad worried that something was wrong. Don't worry about what others think. People may not ever know what you truely mean by your posts because they are not you!!! Keep writing, Tiffany! Your post encourage me. Write for yourself and watch how being yourself is a blessing to many others. I love you!! :-)

Melissa said...

"Write for yourself and watch how being yourself is a blessing to many others!" I second Bethany's comment! Good words for me to hear as well :)

I would struggle with the non-routine part of the ministry as well. Like you, I like to have all my ducks in a row. Everything planned out. I like to be on time, I like to leave at the time that I have planned, I like to do my own thing.... Sometimes life doesn't work that way, and I have to admit that it can really bug me when it doesn't....

Glad you are back to writing. I've been watching for more from you. :)

Jenilee said...

I am so glad that you are still writing. keep at it! as a pastor's wife myself, I've found blogging to be a great outlet, a new way of ministry to women and a fun way to stay in touch with family. I love this platform of writing but I've had days like you that I've questioned why I even do it. What a great husband to encourage you in that way! Thanks for posting and I'll keep looking for more posts!

Heather said...

I'm glad you are back!
I enjoy reading your posts. They encourage me a lot. :)
That is wonderful that you are enjoying life as a Pastor's wife!
I am sure it is hard to open your home at a moments notice (it definitely would be for me) but that is great that the Lord is helping you with that.
I understand why would you want to take a break for a while. I honestly didn't think you stirred up controversy but I didn't see what was commented. I guess I just agreed with what you wrote. :)
I don't have thick skin myself and I do NOT like stirring up controversy either.
Good for you for going forward because like you said this is your blog.

Gina said...

Missed you! I'm excited to hear how God is growing you...what a blessed husband you have. Just wanted to add my encouragements--Your blog as been a blessing to me...keep it up for as long as God leads you to do so.

Melissa said...

Thank you for still sharing your life with us. I love your encouraging blog!

Mandolin said...

Yay for being back! And yay for another "newbie" pastors wife I can chat and relate with!

Anonymous said...

hey there, sounds like we have that sensitivity thing in common. I completely understand, but am glad you are back. :) About the blog header...gosh, I wish I could point out an easy fix, but I've been googling, changing odd numbers in the HTML, and not just one little thing lately to get this blog thing changed. Sorry I'm no help as I don't understand at all what I've done! LOL!

Carrie said...

I'm so glad you're back! I know just what you mean about controversy - I never ever talk about anything political or controversial, because I hate confrontation so much. But yes, God uses your blog in many people's lives, so keep writing. :) Glad you're enjoying the pastor's wife lifestyle! :)

A Seeker of Divine Moments said...

Hey there! It has been forever since I have been on my google reader. Life has been so busy. I enjoyed catching up with you though & rejoiced when I read about Jim finding a place to answer his call. Woot! Woot!

Debb said...

I'm glad to see you are writing again! I read the post that was misunderstood. I pray that the enemy is not allowed not use this incident to quiet you.....that is his plan, you know. To quiet you. Your words have a way of touching others. DON"T HINDER THAT!!! :o) God has blessed you with this venue to use your gift. May you walk in that blessing.

Speak from your heart, with the guidance of God ~ and let God deal with/heal the broken hearts that misunderstand your intent.

Write On! :o)

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